- Queen of Hearts: I want her head!
- Alice: Please Ma'am, I'm just learning about life, I'm too young to die, don't cut off my head.
- Queen of Hearts: You misunderstand me, doll. I don't wanna cut off your head. I want you to give me some head.
- Tweedledum: Oh, Dee! You're so great! I love you like a brother!
- Tweedledee: Dum, aren't you forgetting? I AM your brother.
- Alice: Don't you think you should put that thing away?
- Mad Hatter: Certainly not, I just let it out! Don't you like it?
- Alice: Well... Yes, it's very nice.
- Mad Hatter: You may touch it.
- Alice: Oh, I couldn't!
- Mad Hatter: I don't see why not.
- Alice: Well, because it's yours.
- Mad Hatter: [rolling his eyes] I'll share it with you.
- Queen of Hearts: [Alice is asking for a fair trial] A Trial? Where is it written, that we have to give you a trial?
- Mad Hatter: It says so right here in this book.
- [showing the King of Hearts and the Queen of Hearts the book "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"]
- The White Rabbit: She's embarassed - I think she's still a virgin.
- Mad Hatter: Well if that's the case, she should be embarassed. I've never heard of such a thing.
- Alice: Well I'm trying to learn, honestly, but I can't have everything shoved down my throat all at once.
- Mad Hatter: Well I don't see why not.
- Mad Hatter: And after the King's ball comes off, we're eating dinner in the Queen's box.
- Alice: Dinner in the Queen's box?
- Mad Hatter: Well not dinner exactly, it's more like a boxed lunch.
- Alice: Oh! It looks like somebody had an accident.
- The White Rabbit: THAT'S a funny thing to call it!
- Alice: [singing] I guess, I was too busy growing up; Never took the time to read a nursery rhyme; Never played a Pat-A-Cake, kicked a can or caught a snake; I guess I was too busy growing up.