- Roadside motorist: [thinking there is an accident on the road] Oh, my God. Are you guys in some kind of accident?
- Carl: No, but you might.
- Rudi Volpone: [thinking it is Ralph Jr. in the station wagon and has his gun drawn out] Smile, R.J., smile. You're on Candid Camera! You're not R.J.
- Scooter: No, I'm Scooter Davis.
- Rudi Volpone: Where's R.J.? Now, you answer me fast or I'll blow your goddamn nose backwards for you!
- Scooter: Well, he took the truck.
- Rudi Volpone: What truck?
- Scooter: The Honey Dew truck. He said there was a new route up north.
- Rudi Volpone: Which way did they go?
- Scooter: North on route 248, you ain't five minutes behind them.
- Rudi Volpone: Okay, Scooter. Now, if you plan to blow the candles out on your next birthday cake, you forget you ever saw me here, you understand?
- Scooter: You're a complete stranger as far as I'm concerned.
- Jake Summers: [Harley and Nancy Sue leave Jake handcuffed to his car for the cops] Well, what about me?
- Nancy Sue Hunnicutt: Too bad about you, Jake!
- [fires a shot near Jake, spooking him]
- Honeydew Driver: [to the cops about to apprehend Harley and Nancy Sue] Run them hippie punks to the ground!
- Nancy Sue Hunnicutt: [notices a cop car coming to arrest Jake] Cops just come around the corner.
- Ralph Junior Hunnicutt: Them boys want your car awfully bad.
- Harley Thomas: Well, it's Jake they'll be grabbing 'cause he's the one driving it.
- Harley Thomas: [while Carl is shooting up the Honey Dew truck] Hey, gimme your shirt!
- Ralph Junior Hunnicutt: What for?
- Harley Thomas: Just gimme it.
- Ralph Junior Hunnicutt: I'm wearing my shirt.
- Harley Thomas: I didn't ask what you were doing with it, I said gimme it.
- Mrs. Hunnicutt: [while Ralph is playing golf in his living room, he and his wife are discussing colleges for Nancy Sue] Vassar.
- Ralph Junior Hunnicutt: Oh, Vassar. Vassar is a little too pinko for my case, Thelma. Besides, Wellsey's is more... more high class.
- Mrs. Hunnicutt: Remore is very high class, dear. Why, Katherine Hepburn graduated from Remore.
- Ralph Junior Hunnicutt: Is that so? Well, it's closer to home, yeah. How much is the tuition over there?
- Mrs. Hunnicutt: The lowest is $80,000 a year.
- Ralph Junior Hunnicutt: Well, don't that seem a little might steep to you? I mean, you have to figure out the tuition along with the annual package rate.
- Mrs. Hunnicutt: Is this a business deal we're talking about or your daughter's education?
- Ralph Junior Hunnicutt: Thelma, nothing is too good for my little Nancy Sue and I'll pay for any tuition any college asked, if she would give up that damn fool idea of being an airline stewardess!
- Mrs. Hunnicutt: Why, that's just the phase all girls go through, wanting to travel.
- Ralph Junior Hunnicutt: Well, if that girl would just settle down, I'd plumb be in hog Heaven!
- [suddenly, Ralph's car blows up from a bomb planted inside]
- Mrs. Hunnicutt: [shaken up] Ralph? Ralph Jr.? Are you all right?
- Ralph Junior Hunnicutt: I think I bit my tongue.
- Carl: Why do you want to turn left for, Rudi?
- Rudi Volpone: Because Hunnicutt is gonna try to get out of the state!
- Carl: Well, how do you figure that? If it was me trying to run from the hit, I'd try and stay on the roads that I knew.
- Rudi Volpone: [scoffs] I need a hit man, they send me one that watches Captain Kangaroo.
- Carl: [offended] You trying to get cute or something, Rudi?
- Rudi Volpone: No, I'm trying to tell you I make the goddamn decisions here!
- Rudi Volpone: Well, we can't be too far ahead of them.
- Carl: We'd better not be. Uncle Angie is gonna be real pissed if we blow this one, Rudi.
- Rudi Volpone: Look, Carl, nobody's blowing nothing. So, just cool it and think positive like Norman Vincent Peale.
- Carl: Who?
- Rudi Volpone: The guy with the correspondence course. You mean you never heard of him?
- Carl: No.
- Rudi Volpone: He was very famous in the mind racket and - Oh, what the hell am I explaining it to you for?
- Ralph Junior Hunnicutt: [Rudi spits out moonshine from a Honey Dew soda bottle] You like it, huh?
- Rudi Volpone: Tastes like chicken livers.
- Harley Thomas: [Harley has had it with Nancy Sue insulting his Chevy Bel-Air] Look, you say one more mean thing about my car, you can just get out and walk!
- Deputy #1: [when Jim Bob crashes the Corvette into the police car] You dumb shit! Look what you've done! I ought to put you in a hospital! Come on, get outta that car, right now! Let's go!
- [Bubba tries to gets out the passenger side]
- Deputy #1: The other way! You another dumb son of a bitch, ain't you?
- Jim Bob: Now, wait a minute, we didn't do it. That car that went by...
- Deputy #1: Oh, shut up! I don't wanna hear no Walter Cronkite report!