- Columbo: [entering Kay's office] That's a very impressive desk, Ma'am. You can run the world from a desk like that.
- Kay Freestone: The world doesn't count - just the West coast.
- Dubbing Chief: [to Columbo] If there's one thing worse than a television lady who thinks she knows everything, it's a television lady who knows everything.
- Kay Freestone: It's very odd. They say there's a great sense of relief that comes when something like this is over. I don't feel that at all. Quite the opposite.
- Walter Mearhead: [watches the changed reel, sees a character shoot himself in the head, turns away in disgust] HOW LONG are they gonna keep putting stuff like that on television?
- Columbo: I took a trip a few years ago. Took Mrs. Columbo back to the house where I grew up. Looked all shrunk. I had five brothers and one sister, Miss Freestone, and that was really terrific. There was always someone around for company. We were never lonely.
- Kay Freestone: I've wrestled this bloody film through that nutty studio for six months. If you so much as make one mistake in the changeover, I'll kill you.
- Walter Mearhead: Yowsah, Miss Freestone.
- [twirling his cap]
- Walter Mearhead: Your film is gonna go through this gate at the incredible rate of 90 feet per minute. You just watch this little ol' counter here. And no sooner will this first reel finish up when I will see two little flashes of light out there in the upper right hand corner of your lovely picture. And then I will, with lightning speed, switch over this projector right here. And not only will your big shots not know that I have switched the reel, they will not suspect one li'l ol' thing.
- Columbo: [to Kay] Interesting, isn't it, how you can work these small things out if you just think about it... like you got a tiny voice whisperin' right in your ear trying to tell you who did it?
- Kay Freestone: Are you taking anything?
- Valerie Kirk: Oh God, I look like a junkie, is that it? I've had NO booze, NO pills, NO sniff, and NO smokes... except for these.
- [holds up cigarette]
- Valerie Kirk: [after Kay finds pill bottles in Valerie's knitting bag] Please, give us a hug.
- Kay Freestone: [clutches pill bottles] No more hugs, we're fresh out of hugs.