Dr. MacArthur St. Clair: You know what I hate about this place? You can never slam a door when it most needs slamming.
Joe Hamill: Now before you fly off the handle...
Dr. MacArthur St. Clair: Another thing I hate about this place is patients who think they know more than the doctor who's treating them. Patients who think they can *diagnose* for other patients too!
Joe Hamill: Are you done?
Dr. MacArthur St. Clair: No! No, but we are, you and me, you can find yourself another guy, Hamill. I've had a bellyful of your antics!
Joe Hamill: Antics? What antics?
Dr. MacArthur St. Clair: Oh we can start with your hit and run attack about Mendel being a junkie, huh?
Joe Hamill: It was no hit and run attack, Doctor, you never followed up on it...
Dr. MacArthur St. Clair: Then you proceed with your nocturnal visits with Betty Bimbo!
Joe Hamill: Okay you just hold it right there...
Dr. MacArthur St. Clair: I am *not* finished yet, Hamill! Next we're going to talk about the kind of ego it takes to presume to tell that poor man sitting out there in the hallway that Mendel's treatment is not warranted!
Joe Hamill: Okay, let's talk then.
Dr. MacArthur St. Clair: No! I got nothing to say to you!
[starts to walk away]
Joe Hamill: You gutless wonder! You owe me 30 seconds!
[St. Clair turns around and faces him]
Joe Hamill: I cannot expect to be taken seriously in one of these lets-your-buns-hang-out outfits,
[puts on robe]
Joe Hamill: and I very much want you to take what I have to say seriously. Doctor, I have seen enough dope and enough people on dope to know what I'm talking about. Mendel throws down enough greenies to give a possum insomnia. I've seen him do it when he was in here talking to Dominguez.
Dr. MacArthur St. Clair: It's pretty dumb of him to do it right in front of you, isn't it?
Joe Hamill: [chuckles] A lot of doctors think people who are sick somehow get dumb because of it, not true. Your doctor Mendel is a speed freak, check it out.
Dr. MacArthur St. Clair: Your 30 seconds are up.
[turns to walk away]
Joe Hamill: Okay!
[St. Clair turns back]
Joe Hamill: I did not tell Dominguez to scratch the bypass, I told him that he had a right to a second opinion. When he laid that on Mendel the good doctor came unglued, he really blew his cork, a not uncommon overreaction for those hooked on uppers.
Dr. MacArthur St. Clair: Mendel's under a lot of pressure.
Joe Hamill: No, he's not. Dominguez is the one under pressure. He's got a guy who wants to cut him open and put a scalpel to his heart. Now that's pressure, Doctor. THAT is pressure. And if you ever call my fiancee a bimbo again, I'm gonna knock you on your can so hard you'll need a plumber to remove the floor tiles. Am I still your patient?
Dr. MacArthur St. Clair: Who else would have you?
Joe Hamill: Goodnight, Mac.
Dr. MacArthur St. Clair: Goodnight, Joe.
