The Concorde... Airport '79

Have you ever watched unintentional comedy? Well, this is it. There are so many absurdities, I couldn't keep track. The best scenes are when Robert Wagner decides to shoot down the plane with missiles and pass it off as a mechanical failure, Charo tries to smuggle a Chichiauah on the plane and, when it's discovered, claims it's her seeing eye dog, John Davidson's hair stays in place when the plane flies upside down, when a missile gets close to the plane, pilot George Kennedy rolls down the pilot's seat window (at the speed of sound) to shoot at it, Jimmy Walker smokes weed in the bathroom stall, and when stewardess Sylvia Crystal says seductively "You pilots are such men!", Kennedy replies, "They don't call it a cock-pit for nothing!" What floors me is that after the first disaster, the plane takes off for another flight and the passengers get back on! If I were a passenger, no way would I board that plane! All this is backed up by special effects that wouldn't pass for an episode of "Bewitched." If you can find this movie in the 99 cent section, I recommend it. I laughed more than I had laughed in weeks. It's great entertainment in the worst way possible.

All the entries in the 70's disaster movie franchise "Airport" – a total of four movies spread over one decade – have been chastised by critics as well as regular action movie fanatics for being too grotesque and ludicrous. Me, personally, I liked the three previous installments a lot, but I can't but admit that the swan song in the series is a completely laughable effort. The supposedly adrenalin-rushing script is absurd, the stereotypical characters are cartoonish, the acting performances are wooden and the action sequences are downright hilarious. The set-up and plot of "The Concorde" is faithful to the previous movies. We have a cast full of acclaimed names, often in inferior little roles, and a screenplay that brings together pretty much everything that can go wrong on an intercontinental flight. The prestigious Concorde aircraft is ready to fly from New York to Paris and then onwards towards Moscow in celebration of the 1980 Olympics. One of the passengers is the female journalist Maggie Whelan, who's in possession of some important evidence that will unmask her ex-fiancée Kevin Harrison as an illegal weapon dealer. It's most vital for him that Maggie never reaches Moscow and thus he tries to kill her, as well as the rest of the Concorde passengers and crew, subsequently through nuclear missiles and sabotage. Luckily for the passengers, the Concorde has two of the world's biggest macho men behind the steering wheel with the French Captain Paul Metrand and the American veteran pilot Joe Patroni. "The Concorde: Airport 79" is a dumb and fairly pathetic film, but fortunately enough it remains amusing and never bores for one second. The sight of an hi-tech advanced airplane making loops in order to evade missiles is definitely bad in an entertaining way and the hammy performances of A-list stars are fun to observe as well. Particularly Robert Wagner is tremendous as the villain. With his straight face and eloquent monologues, he represents the prototype of Bond-movie villains and I strongly suspect that Mike Myers hired him to play Number Two in the Austin Powers' movie solely based on his performance here. Alain Delon looks quite bored and soft-erotica star Sylvia "Emmanuelle" Kristel is rather unnoticeable when she keeps her clothes on. Fun bloke George Kennedy is the only actor who appeared in all four of the "Airport" movies, so it's truly a shame that he plays his biggest role in the worst of the series. The dialogs are lame and some of the clichéd sub plots are horrendous (does there really have to be an emergency donor organ transport in every disaster movie?), but I certainly didn't regret the two hours of my life that I wasted on watching this film.

CONCORDE: AIRPORT '79, THE (1979) **½ Alain Delon, Susan Blakely, Robert Wagner, Sylvia Kristel, George Kennedy. This fourth and final entry in the Airport series is arguably the weakest of the bunch, but it doesn't deserve the critical thrashing it's received over the years. True, the script is rife with hokey, often saccharine dialog (in one nauseating scene, a television reporter (John Davidson) and his Russian gymnast girlfriend recite wedding vows to each other when they think the plane is going down), and leaves far too many unresolved subplots (thanks mostly to the use of a huge ensemble cast of Hollywood has-beens, a series trademark). But Airport fans won't care, because the action is what matters and on that score, at least, The Concorde delivers. Even with its dated special effects, the movie still packs a wallop, delivering plenty of nail-biting suspense and a spectacular ending. Worth seeing.

I remember walking out of an Australian movie theatre in 1980 and saying to my brother..."That was a disaster movie but what was the disaster?". Granted, I was a child at the time.

This Airport movie is different to the other three, no big sea dive or big collision, Airport '79 just seemed to be all over the place! However, the film has improved with age and two recent viewings have been very much enjoyed. It has a touch of The Towering Inferno (1974) with Robert Wagner still being up to no good, the miniature effects work of the Concorde itself is pleasing to my eyes and the film starts with a very uplifting Lalo Schifrin theme tune.

Perhaps Schifrin was trying to be the new disaster movie composer as in 1980 he would score Irwin Allen's When Time Ran Out as well.

There was to be a 5th Airport movie but the poor box office takings for Airport '79 put an end to all that. Too bad as all four Airport films are a special part of the 1970s and still survive repeat viewings to this day.

In Harry Medved's book, "The 50 Worst Films of All Time", 'Airport '75" made the list. I think this is only because the book came out in 1977...before "The Concord...Airport '79" debuted! Yes, it's THAT bad...well, perhaps not bad but incredibly stupid.

The plot makes it obvious the studio had run out of ideas for air disasters...it's that ludicrous. A multinational arms manufacturing company has been illegally selling arms to various nasty countries. A whistleblower knows about this and is murdered as he's making contact with a reporter. Although he's killed, the woman escapes and the next day, as she's about to get on the Concorde, documents incriminating the head of the arms company are given to her. The CEO (Robert Wagner) is determined to not allow that plane to safely lands and sends a super-missile after the plane. When that doesn't work, a remote controlled fighter plane it sent after the Concorde!! In both cases, this very large airliner is able to deftly avoid the missiles by outmaneuvering and outrunning them...something which is incredibly absurd. After the plane successfully lands in Paris, the movie appears to be over...everyone has survived....or have they??

I can understand why folks back in the day thought this film was intended to be a comedy. Not only is the plot dumb but the dialog and characters are terrible. Jimmy Walker's character walks around the plane with his saxophone and even plays it while the plane is in flight....he also smokes reefer in the lavatory! Martha Raye's character LITERALLY spends the movie in the bathroom peeing due to a bladder condition (I am so shocked she agreed to play such a stupid and embarrassing role). But in particular, George Kennedy's character (who was in all four Airport movies) has somehow been promoted to Concorde pilot and he says some incredibly ludicrous things...especially this gem:

Isabelle: You pilots are such... men.

Capt. Joe Patroni: They don't call it the cockpit for nothing, honey.

For more ridiculous dialog, read through the dialog section for this film....including the banana comment!

Overall, a film that is laughable because of bad writing from start to finish.