H.O.T.S.

Mix old-time Burlesque, "jiggle" TV and the basic plot of "Animal House", and you've pretty much summed up this example of "B" movies at the time Reagan became President. Of all the "Animal House" imitators, "H.O.T.S." is probably the best. Don't watch it for great acting, writing or directing, but don't expect to spend a lot of time with your finger on the "Fast Forward" button either. If all you've seen is the USA edit, you've missed what is the essence of the film - beautiful topless women. It's not so much sexploitation as it is an update of the kind of show Grandpa saw in the big city when Grandma wasn't along. Not only the light, breezy attitude toward nudity, but the jokes, the pies, the seltzer, the animal acts - even two baggy-pants comics.

While anyone who claims to have watched this movie simply for the Danny Bonaduce shots is clearly in denial of their libido, it is indeed a fine performance, meaning pleasurably hideous.

Danny is some kind of semi-famous celebrity MC here in the movie, which makes you wonder if he wasnt playing himself in this role, so to speak. The shining moment of this movie, outside of the nude scenes, is when Danny gets onstage with his band to sing a song called "Shake it Baby," a song which really has no other words than those. And who can ever forget the scene in which Danny Bonaduce (Richie) finds himself in bed with a live seal and enjoying the action? God knows I have tried to forget, but it is stained on my retina.

There are lots and lots and lots of flopping, nude women in this movie, which serves its purpose rather well I guess. However, when you are done looking at the girls, some scenes to watch out for are: robot maid enters sorority house to find the secret cache of stolen money, extra large nude woman saves the day in a hot air balloon, and perhaps the strangest -- girls make hundreds of dollars selling "pies" consisting only of whip cream on a plate with glued-on nude sorority girl pictures.

If for nothing else, apart from the Bonaduce madness and the kooky bumbling crooks, you have to see this movie to observe the unmeasurable extremes filmmakers will go to in trying to justify what is patently gratuitous nudity. Strip football?

"H.O.T.S." is an unashamedly exploitative sex comedy flick that followed hot on the heels of "National Lampoon's Animal House", a box-office smash in the late '70s. It was also possibly inspired by all those "Swinging Cheerleaders" movies, which were basically pornographic. It was scripted, surprisingly, by two women.

The plot concerns a group of girls who are blackballed from a snooty sorority, and thus decide to start their own, named "H.O.T.S." after the first initial of each girl. They decide to use their feminine attributes to steal the boyfriends on the rival sorority. Perhaps its most famous scenes are publicity stunts the H.O.T.S. girls pull: a topless parachute jump and a game of strip football.

Of course there is a bizarre subplot about hired goons doing god-knows-what. I wasn't really able to follow these scenes. One of them involves a bear in the swimming pool. The girls also get a seal on a chain somehow, and claim that the name of their sorority stands for "Help Out the Seals".

The girls have a jock strap raid at a frat house, which features a lot of young men wandering around semi naked.

One of the H.O.T.S. girls is kidnapped and bound and gagged. They shave her hair off.

Some random guy appears to have a skull shaped like a cone? I didn't understand that part. It's a bizarre sight.

There is also an ugly fat girl in the movie, and I'm not sure what she was there for.

The movie "climaxes" in the aforementioned strip-football game. The girls play in bikinis, and take their tops off eventually. The movie completely fails to build suspense for this supposedly climactic moment, and films the game ineptly - but who cares about that, right? You want nudity. You get it... sort of. The movie's inept direction doesn't take advantage of so many topless girls by giving you a good look. In fact, the whole movie is a bit like that. The nudity seems incidental, whereas to the people watching the movie, it's anything but - it's the whole reason you watched it in the first place.

I saw this several years ago on the Playboy channel. It featured a few Playmates (Kiger & Bryant--an Indianapolis native), a future T.V. sidekick of Mike Hammer (Bloom) and a has-been child star (Bonaduce) all frolicking in the highjinks of college.

Throw in a Hattie McDaniel/Lillian Randolph type maid for comedy relief, lots of boobies and some strip football and you have all the makings of a classic drive-in movie. H.O.T.S. was made after the success of National Lampoon's Animal House, and in some ways was better--more or less because of the girlies. While the plots not memorable (poor girls getting even with rich vixens) it does have its classic moments like the pie fight from a hot-air balloon, nude skydiving--performed wonderfully by the late Angela Aames, the real life bear scenes and the strip football game.

Not a movie to watch with your wife/girlfriend/concubine/lover, but instead one to watch with a buddy or several guys over a six-pack, pizza and snacks.

If you watched this film for the nudity (as I did) you won't be disappointed. I could have done without the bumbling crooks or the bear though. Some bottomless nudity could have be shown but for what it was I think H.O.T.S. has to be the best of its genre.

It is not the sort of film that could have been made today which is a pity because it is the sort of film that is worth watching in these times.

I would take mindless nudity over pivotal plot points any day.

It is a shame that the DVD doesn't have any extras but as they didn't have DVDs when this was filmed that is understandable. I would have like to know more about the shooting of the film especially where they shot the football match at the end.