Walter Matthau credited as playing...
Lt. Garber
- Lt. Garber: [looking for the inspector] Inspector Daniels?
- Inspector Daniels: [identifying himself] Daniels.
- Lt. Garber: [realizing that Inspector Daniels is Black] Oh, I, uh, thought you were, uh, like a shorter guy or... I don't know what I thought.
- Lt. Rico Patrone: What's up, Z?
- Lt. Garber: You won't believe it.
- Lt. Rico Patrone: You know me, I'll believe anything.
- Lt. Garber: A train has been hijacked.
- Lt. Rico Patrone: I don't believe it.
- Lt. Garber: [Speaking to the wounded male undercover officer with long hair, face down on the tracks] We'll have an ambulance here in no time, miss.
- Mr. Green: Look, I got my rights! This is my home! I just want a little peace and quiet. Now, just do me a favor, willya? Get the hell out of here!
- Lt. Garber: Sorry if we bothered you, Mr. Longman. C'mon, Rico.
- [Mr. Green sneezes]
- Lt. Garber: Gesundheit.
- [beat, then Garber reopens the door, to glare knowingly at Mr. Longman, who, he's now certain is 'Mr. Green']
- Mr. Blue: Excuse me, do you people still execute in this state?
- Lt. Garber: What? Oh, execute. No, not at the moment.
- Mr. Blue: Pity.
- [he then steps on the 3rd rail - electrocuting himself]
- Lt. Garber: These are the assignment desks, one for each of the lines. This is the BMT, the IRT. Here's the IND. There's our artist in residence. And right through here's our operations lieutenant, Enrico Patrone, who on weekends works for the mafia.
- Mrs. Jenkins: Grand Central Tower calling Command Center.
- Lt. Garber: Yeah, this is Command Center.
- Mrs. Jenkins: She's moving.
- Lt. Garber: Who's moving?
- Mrs. Jenkins: Pelham One Two Three.
- Lt. Garber: What? Since when?
- Mrs. Jenkins: Just started.
- Lt. Garber: Hold on, I'll put you on tie-in.
- Lt. Garber: Rico, she's moving.
- Lt. Rico Patrone: Who's moving?
- Lt. Garber: Who d'ya think? Pelham.
- Lt. Rico Patrone: It's too soon, we're not set up yet.
- Lt. Garber: Which is probably why they did it. You heard from Daniels yet?
- Lt. Rico Patrone: Yeah, he's in a squad car on Park Avenue South.
- Lt. Garber: Inspector Daniels, she's moving, sir.
- Inspector Daniels: Who's moving?
- Lt. Garber: What's the matter with everybody? How many hijacked trains we got around here, anyway?
- Mr. Blue: It is 2:24, Lieutenant, you've got 49 minutes.
- Lt. Garber: Be reasonable, will you? We're trying to cooperate with you but we can't do anything if you don't give us enough time to work with.
- Mr. Blue: 49 minutes.
- Lt. Garber: We're dealing with City Hall, for God's sake, you know what a mess of red tape that is?
- Mr. Blue: 49 minutes.
- Lt. Garber: Look, fella, we know how to tell time as well as you do, but we're not gonna get anywhere if all you do is repeat forty-nine minutes!
- Mr. Blue: Forty-*eight* minutes.
- Lt. Garber: Yeah, all right, we'll get back to you as soon as we can.
- [after shutting off the mic]
- Lt. Garber: Son of a bitch.
- Lt. Garber: Did you get that list of motormen who were discharged for cause I asked you to get?
- Lt. Rico Patrone: Yeah: 78 names.
- Lt. Garber: 78?
- Lt. Rico Patrone: Yeah, but it's not that bad. Eight are dead, 22 were rehired, 11 are in jail, 26 moved away, one's in a mental institution, and another's a member of the New York Police Department.
- Lt. Garber: That's our man right there.
- Lt. Rico Patrone: Sorry to disappoint you, Zachary, but he was accounted for.
- Lt. Garber: Rico, you want to make yourself useful? Get personnel and tell them to get together a list of all motormen discharged for cause during the past five to ten years.
- Lt. Rico Patrone: What are you looking for?
- Lt. Garber: Somebody down there knows how to drive a train. You don't pick that up watching Sesame Street. Tell them we want it today.
- Correll: I don't give a rat's ass for your fucking instructions. I'm not lifting a finger to help the killers of Caz Dolowicz.
- Correll: [Grabbed by the shirt by Lt.Garber] Hey, Jesus!
- Lt. Garber: Now you listen to me, you dumb son of a bitch. You don't do what I tell you, you'll be having *dinner* tonight with Caz Dolowicz!
- Mr. Blue: Officer, I suppose you couldn't use a quarter of a million dollars, could you?
- Lt. Garber: Quarter of a million? No, thanks. My accountant says I've accepted enough for this fiscal quarter.
- Lt. Rico Patrone: Wait a minute. I just figured out how they're going to get away.
- Lt. Garber: I'm listening.
- Lt. Rico Patrone: They're going to fly the train to Cuba.
- Lt. Garber: You're a sick man, Rico.
- Correll: Christ, to hear you plead with that chickenshit makes me ashamed to be an American.
- Lt. Garber: Go away, will you, Frank? Go play with your trains.
- Correll: Don't bug me, Garber. I've got problems.
- Lt. Garber: Oh, yeah? What's the matter?
- Correll: Oh, nothing: a train is down, its radio's dead, the power's off, and it's dumped its load. Aside from that, everything's ginger-peachy.
- Lt. Garber: Frank, how much longer before the track's clear all the way to South Ferry?
- Correll: You mean before this railroad is so totally fucked up it'll take a computer to put it back together?
- Lt. Garber: Yes, Frank, that's what I meant.
- Correll: About five or six minutes. I got a snag over at Brooklyn Bridge.
- Inspector Daniels: Garber, I just had a terrible thought: suppose they're not on the train? What if they set the throttle and jumped off? While we're chasing the train, they're sneaking out of an emergency exit somewhere behind us.
- Lt. Garber: Ingenious thought, sir, except for one thing: it's impossible.
- Inspector Daniels: Why?
- Lt. Garber: Little gizmo known as a dead man's feature. It was built into the controller handle in case a motorman should ever drop dead. The controller handle has to have a man's hand pressing down on it hard at all times. Otherwise, the thing don't work. The train stops cold.
- Inspector Daniels: Uh-huh. I see.
- Lt. Garber: Nice try, though.
- Lt. Garber: Hey Pelham; it might interest you to know I figured out how you're gonna do it.
- Mr. Blue: [Mr. Blue, sitting in the motorman's car, picks up the mic] Yes, it would interest me vey much .
- Lt. Garber: You're gonna make every man, woman and child in New York City close their eyes and count to a hundred, right?
- Lt. Garber: Listen, fella, I hope you take this in the right spirit,but after this is over you should seek psychiatric help.
- Lt. Garber: Inspector, that short move they made between 28th Street and 17th Street - why did they do that?
- Inspector Daniels: I don't know.
- Lt. Garber: Suppose they wanted to do something they didn't want anybody else to know about?
- Inspector Daniels: Like what?
- Lt. Garber: Like jumping off the train! Turn around, Inspector, we're going back to 17th Street.
- Inspector Daniels: Like hell we are!
- Lt. Garber: They are not on the train. I'm sure of it!
- Inspector Daniels: Look, Garber, I suggested that in the first place and you shot me down. Something about a dead man's feature?
- Lt. Garber: But they figured out how to beat that! That's their plan! That's what they started with!
- Inspector Daniels: [to his driver] Turn this thing around and burn rubber.