Cry, Onion

Unbelievable! Where to start with this one? Well, let's start with the casting. You would think Enzo G. Castellari would have cast Terence Hill (or even Bud Spencer) in this slapstick western - after all, those are the two actors you usually think of in this particular vein. But action superstar FRANCO NERO?!? Not only that, giving him a Donald Sutherland perm? The English dubbers take it even further by giving Nero a voice that sounds like a senile Jimmy Stewart. Still, Nero is clearly game for such an atypical part, throwing himself into all the slapstick, and he's clearly having fun. He's fun to watch as a result, though what he gets to do is so goofball at times that part of you can't help but also laugh at the idea that Nero today may be regretting taking place in all this nonsense.

Actually, the bizarre casting of Nero is actually one of the saner parts of this movie. You won't believe what goes on here. A henchman in this western setting that looks and speaks like Hitler! Two kids (named Al Capone and Dutch Schultz!) who are dubbed with adult voices! A villain with a robotic hand! Nero eating onions like apples! A motorcycle gang! The death of one character shown in reverse! Speeded-up action scenes a la the Keystone Kops! And all done with what seems to have been a hefty budget!

Most people will hate this movie, simply calling it stupid. Well, maybe it is stupid. But personally I found it extremely entertaining because of its entirely bizarre nature. The movie never stops delivering wacky situations, each different from the other, and my attention was always held - I couldn't wait to see what new kind of insanity the movie would next pull out of its sleeves. If you like the antics of Terence Hill/Bud Spencer movies, and are accustomed to the unconventional tone many Italian mass-entertainment movies have, give it a look. Like it or hate it, you'll NEVER forget it!

I found this in a second-hand shop that had a VCR and TV to preview the used tapes. From the bizarre opening shot of the oil field and the director's credit, I knew this was one worth the dollar.

Franco Nero does his best Terrence Hill impression as the character Onion who arrives in town to start an onion farm on a parcel of land he's bought real cheap from a farmer. What he doesn't know is that evil oil magnate Petrus Lamb has bought/stolen all the property around the town due to the vast oil reserves under the town. Lamb has a strange mechanical hand that's serviced by Adolf Hitler! Thru a plot device out of Once Upon A Time in the West, Onion's property is still owned by the orphans of the original farmer who's been killed by Lamb's henchmen. The rest of the movie revolves around the increasingly silly attempts to steal the lease out of Onion's possession.

First of all, the film is very well directed by Enzo Castellari so that already lifts it out of the typical spaghetti western doldrums. The script is very silly with frequent forays into total surrealism. Onion fights with a gun and the many onions that he has hidden in his pants. During a duel he always asks, "Gun or Onion?" The first fight scene with Onion is right out of the first Trinity movie except it mostly done with onions. I suppose it's a parody of sorts, but how do you parody a parody? Martin Balsam is game as the evil Lamb and he seems to be having fun with the mechanical hand he's wearing. I enjoyed the movie for the most part although the overuse of sped-up footage towards the end is a let-down. The English dubbing crew had some fun with this film as they gave Onion a Jimmy Stewart voice and one orphan sounds like Bugs Bunny imitating a gangster. For some reason it works! I wonder what the Italian original sounds like.

Not the greatest but with enough bright spots that I enjoyed the film.

I saw this film for the very first time not too long ago on TV. I thought it was just the typical spaghetti-western, with a lot of gunfights,blood and dead people. Obviously I was wrong.

During the first ten minutes or so it seems a standard European western, but then appears a horse pulling a wagon full of onions where "Onion" (Franco Nero) is hidden. That´s when the fun begins. I´d like to remark from this film the surrealistic details it contains such as the nazi look of the villains, the capacity of our hero "Franco Nero" eating and even drinking! raw onions.

If you have the chance to watch it, just do it. I believe you won´t be disappointed.

It seems as the couple Franco Nero / Enzo G. Castellari always made good films... (Check some of them: "High Crime", "Keoma", and "The shark hunter"). enjoyable films...

I went in this movie with the expectation of a mediocre-mid-70s-Spagetti-Western. But what I found was a weird, little trashy western comedy with an absolut hilarious surrealism and absurdity. The juggling scene cracked me up like not much did in some time. If your looking for a silly but still lovely little movie that makes you cheer up and laugh this one will be a good choice.

I love Spaghetti Westerns, but am kind of weary of the more comedic ones as most, to be honest, are rubbish. This one stars Franco Nero as a man who travels in a carriage full of onions pulled by a farting horse, eating onions, juggling onions, drinking onion juice, and using them in fights. This film goes beyond stupid and because you've got Enzo Castellari behind the camera, you've got 100% effort. The might is extremely silly and full of slapstick though, so be warned.

I forgot to say that Nero's character is also called Onion, and he's just bought some land to plant onions from a guy who we've just seen being murdered by Romano Puppo and Massimo Vanni and another guy (the three bad guys Nero went up against in Castellari's Street Law). They work for the usual generic big business guy (Martin Balsam) who wants the land to prospect for oil. What's not generic is that Martin has a robotic hand that for some reason is maintained by Hitler!

Sterling Heyden is the local supressed newspaper guy with Emma Cohen as the daughter who falls in love with Nero (he even uses onion talk romantically). He also ends up looking after two young kids named Al Capone and Dutch Schultz. I'm guessing most people will have stopped reading the review by now, because how many do you know like this sort of stuff?

It is fun if you sit back and let the stupidity roll over you. There's a motorcycle gang, loads of stunts, and way too many Benny Hill style chases. Romano Puppo and Massimo Vanni have larger roles than usual as the bad guys. My eight year old kid thought the few minutes of it were funny, before he slipped away to continue playing his Xbox.