- Max: There are drunks lying everywhere. The government should do something about it. But it's the same in other countries. I was in Helsinki recently. You can't imagine the number of drunks lying around. Even though it's so hard to buy alcohol in Finland.
- Bank Teller: Cash. Cash. Cash! If you repeat a word often enough you don't know what it means anymore.
- Franz Bieberkopf: I pay for everything. I always pay for everything. I have to pay for everything, always!
- [breaks down sobbing]
- Franz Bieberkopf: I think you're daft.
- Eugen Thiess: Do you?
- Franz Bieberkopf: Yes, pretty much.
- Eugen Thiess: How about you? Do you wash yourself from time to time?
- Franz Bieberkopf: Some people wash themselves, and some people are clean.
- Eugen Thiess: And some people stink, even though they're clean.
- Franz Bieberkopf: And that's good, because some people are turned on by a bit of smell.
- Eugen Thiess: Don't look at me.
- Barman Springer: What do the ladies in the painting business say? He who climbs high takes longer to fall in the paint pot. But not that much longer.
- Klaus: We offer you something truly unique! Ladies and gentlemen, come closer, come closer. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, step this way. Come closer. Come closer. The show starts soon! Don't be shy. Step this way, ladies and gentlemen! Thank you, come along. Don't be afraid.
- Kommissar Braun: Now, ladies, get dressed. I'm closing the theater. And hurry!
- Madame Cherie: You filthy pig!
- Kommissar Braun: Now, now. Have you forgotten your French manners, Madame Cherie from Paris?
- Madame Cherie: Scumbag.
- Franz Bieberkopf: How time flies.
- Max: Said the old man and forgot to breathe - forever.
- Franz Bieberkopf: That's sad.
- Max: Depends how you look at it.
- [first lines]
- Klaus: It won't cost you a penny more, ladies and gentlemen! As the only German traveling carnival, it's our pleasure to offer you a show which is truly unparalleled in the entire world. And now for the real sensation.
- Klaus: And now, a brief description of this evening's show. We open the show with Madame Cherie! Madame Cherie from Paris! The radiant Venus! Right before your eyes, up on the stage, only two or three yards away, Madame will appear in the brilliant colors from 1001 Nights, a remarkable spectacle! Second, and especially for you, gentlemen, Madame Antoinette! She'll show you a striptease that will knock your socks off! But that's not all. There are sensations upon sensations, one after the other. Sensations, every one of which is worth the cost of admission. For example: Isabelle, the girl in cellophane. Here she is, ladies and gentlemen. Her show starts with a beautiful dance and ends when the last veil has fallen from her body and she stands upon the stage just as you might wish to see her.
- Eugen Thiess: [to Max] Where did you pick him up? At a public lavatory?
- Philip: Don't be indecent, darling.
- Max: I've had the best experiences with public lavatories.
- Eugen Thiess: But the stench, old girl.
- Eugen Thiess: Did you do it with Uncle Max?
- Franz Bieberkopf: No pain, no gain, my dear girl.
- Eugen Thiess: We'll see which of us is the "girl".
- Franz Bieberkopf: By the way, if something stinks, it's me. I took off my shoes. Yeah, they're new, you know. Quite tight and pinching.
- Eugen Thiess: Maybe your pants are pinching, too.
- Eugen Thiess: Let it be. A little escapade.
- Philip: How little? Eight inches? Or seven? Or even smaller?
- Eugen Thiess: I thought you were still in bed.
- Franz Bieberkopf: I am. But you won't come.
- Eugen Thiess: You want to do it again?
- Franz Bieberkopf: Yes. I'm a member of the proletariat. They're more potent than...
- Eugen Thiess: That's an old wives tale. Invented to defame the working class as brainless. Nothing in the head but drinking, eating and fucking.
- Max: There are things between heaven and earth, my boy, that go far beyond what you could ever understand.
- Franz Bieberkopf: He just acts a little posh, a little daft.
- Barman Springer: Stay away from him, Franz. You'll draw the short straw.
- Franz Bieberkopf: Wrong! Mine's bigger.
- Franz Bieberkopf: Eugen isn't just a phase. This is real love.
- Hedwig: Don't let him clean you out.
- Franz Bieberkopf: No. He won't. He has absolutely no need for it. He's got enough himself. He doesn't depend on someone like me. Why are you looking at me like that?
- Franz Bieberkopf: I'd like to withdraw 100,000 marks. In cash.
- Bank Teller: In cash?
- Franz Bieberkopf: Yes, in cash.
- Bank Teller: 100,000 marks in cash?
- Franz Bieberkopf: Like I said, in cash.
- Bank Teller: In cash, you said?
- Franz Bieberkopf: Yes, in cash.
- Wolf Thiess, Eugen's father: You're a nice guy, Fox. That's your name, isn't it?
- Franz Bieberkopf: Yes.
- Wolf Thiess, Eugen's father: Then I'll call you Fox. It reminds me of better times. Do you understand me, Fox? Fox Movietone News. Do you remember?
- Hedwig: I see. My little brother runs in the best circles. Soon you'll have forgotten me.
- Franz Bieberkopf: Nonsense, Hedwig!
- Hedwig: Nevertheless, it was very kind of you to bring me the bottle. Real French cognac.
- Franz Bieberkopf: Be careful, Hedwig. It's bad for the liver, they say.
- Hedwig: Nonsense. My liver is the best in the world.
- Franz Bieberkopf: This was one of my first records. "Why Do You Paint Only White Angels?"
- Eugen Thiess: Yes, and that was very long ago. I loathe that kind of music. I'll have to teach you what good music is as well.
- Franz Bieberkopf: Sure, but, somehow I like this kind of music, you know. It reminds me of my past.
- Eugen Thiess: Exactly! You were a different person then. You'll have to learn, learn, and learn. You'll have to learn about culture. It's different, you know. But in the end, we'll manage to make a human being of you.
- Eugen Thiess: A dark Chinese silk rug here. And over there, an English suite in leather, 19th Century. And here a bookshelf.
- Franz Bieberkopf: Pardon?
- Eugen Thiess: A bookshelf. For books, my darling.
- Franz Bieberkopf: What books?
- Eugen Thiess: Books for reading.
- Franz Bieberkopf: I don't need any books.
- Eugen Thiess: Well, you don't need any books.
- Philip: Well, are you happy?
- Eugen Thiess: Happy? What's that?
- Philip: It's when you're together with someone you can talk to. Isn't it?
- Eugen Thiess: Time will tell.
- Hedwig: Hey! So none of you here likes women? You don't know what you're missing. You're missing a lot! Idiots! Let's drink, sweetheart! Try it. No? You wimp! Nothing but wimps here! Such pathetic company.
- Hedwig: You're all pigs! And your noble asses reek! Can't you smell it? No? I can. It stinks to high heaven! And God himself is dressed up as Marlene Dietrich and he's holding his nose.
- Eugen's mother: You didn't miss anything last time at the opera. It wasn't music, just noise. Those modern composers are all the same.
- Eugen Thiess: What did you see? "The Firebird"?
- Eugen's mother: Yes, unfortunately. Terrible. And so loud. No, no. I like Mozart much better. Or, do you like Stravinsky?
- Franz Bieberkopf: Strav-what?
- Florist 'Fatty' Schmidt: Now, now! Think about it. How about the two of us? All fun and no regrets.
- Franz Bieberkopf: Wrong. If I have fun, I want to have regrets.
- Philip: He's really desperate.
- Eugen Thiess: Nonsense. People like him are much too dull to be desperate.
- Hedwig: God, are you stupid. Fox, the lottery king, gets ripped off like he was born yesterday. You're stupid and primitive.
- Franz Bieberkopf: Yes, I've got that in common with you.
- Franz Bieberkopf: What's your name?
- American Soldier: Richard - and this is Bob.
- Franz Bieberkopf: Bob and Richard. I like it. Have you got a big cock?