- Man in parking lot: Hey, what's the big idea? This was my parking spot!
- Sweeney: I am sorry indeed, dear brother. We have a badly abused copy of "Lady Chatterly's Lover" that is in desperate need of an ink transfusion. I'm sure you'll understand.
- Mrs. Chorley: Hortense, the plates and silverware must be arranged and these young ladies are waiting. If you don't hurry up, they'll never get laid.
- Mrs. Chorley: My late husband always used to say...
- [she notices that the curtains are shut]
- Mrs. Chorley: just open them a little wider so people can see what's in between.
- Mrs. Chorley: As I used to say to my late husband...
- [she is poked with a stick]
- Mrs. Chorley: don't poke that thing at me!
- Sweeney: I regret that my brother Vladimir could not be here this evening. He is presently incarcerated for a minor social offense. But, he assures me that immediately upon his release he will campaign strenuously upon your behalf.