- Young Queer-baiter: See that copper over there? If you don't give us a quid each, right? I'm gonna tell him you been fiddling with these two.
- Quentin Crisp: I defy you to do your worst. It can hardly be my worst. Mine has already and often happened to me. You cannot touch me now. I am one of the "stately homos of England".
- [first lines]
- Mr. Crisp: Do you intend to spend your entire life admiring yourself?
- Quentin Crisp: If I possibly can.
- Quentin Crisp: [His friend has become a nun] How is it there?
- Art Student: Every moment has been agony, but I couldn't have done otherwise.
- Quentin Crisp: Story of our lives.
- [last lines]
- Quentin Crisp: Never looking at anyone unless they demand I look. Never speaking to anyone unless spoken to.
- 1st Policeman: Are you pansy?
- Quentin Crisp: I don't know any other meaning of this word apart from being a flower!