Christopher Lee credited as playing...
Mr. Midnight
- Mr. Midnight: [sings] Mai Tai say that I'm Old-Fashioned / Très Vin ordinaire / That I want a fresh Manhattan / With white Anglo-Saxons everywhere? / A Black Russian's no Pink Lady / Give her the Singapore sling! / And Moscow mule is not your baby / So highball the vodka and name your sting! / Be a Big shot, with a Bull shot / Be a Schwein mit der Wein! / Have a short, or a port, or a snort of any sort! / Asti spumante, uno Chianti, are divine!
- [three chorus girls appear with drinks]
- Mr. Midnight: I got some economic Hocks / A Gin and tonic On the rocks / Where angels fear to tread, I say / Choose your booze! Let's hit the Red eye! / Think of young Deanna Durbin / And how she sung on Rum and Bourbon / Or enhance your luncheon hour with a Planter's Punch, and a Whiskey sour! / If you feel like a wreck, try a Horse's Neck / Or a Sherry with a cherry, in the new fun size!
- Mr. Midnight: If you don't name your poison, I'll have to get the boys in / The spirit of adventure opens one's eyes! / If you don't name your poison, I'll have to get the boys in / And you'll never see another Tequila Sunrise!
- Mr. Midnight: Live happily ever after, with a Chablis and some laughter / Between the Sheets is lovely with a dizzy blonde and a bottle of bubbly! / There's nothing sicker in society than a lack of liquor and sobriety / So, down the hatch! Here's mud in your eye! / Take a bracer with a chaser, wash it down with Rye!/ Bottoms up! Stir a cup! It'll put you in the pink!
- Mr. Midnight: And all you have to do is... drink, drink, drink, drink, driiiink! Drink, drink, drink, drink, driiiink! Drink, drink, drink, drink, driiiink! Drink, drink, drink, drink, driiiink! Driiiink! Driiiink!
- Mr. Midnight: Same old dreary demands. Self righteous, messianic, moralistic and increasingly tedious.
- Captain Invincible: Fine talk from a sociopath paranoid schizophrenic with delusions of grandeur.
- Mr. Midnight: Thank you.