- Ross Webster: I ask you to kill Superman, and you're telling me you couldn't even do that one, simple thing.
- Vera Webster: I still don't understand why you can't balloon down like the rest of us.
- Gus Gorman: I just don't believe a man can fly.
- Evil Superman: Well I hope you don't expect me to save you, 'cause I don't do that anymore.
- Lorelei: Don't worry about me. I'm long past savin'.
- Perry White: I don't understand you Olsen. A boring banquet and you bring me three thousand boring pictures. Yet Superman saves a man from drowning on 3rd Avenue this morning while you stand there watching the whole thing and you don't even bring me one picture.
- Jimmy Olsen: Chief, I didn't have my camera with me.
- Perry White: [while Jimmy mouths the words he knows by heart] A photographer *eats* with his camera. A photographer *sleeps* with his camera.
- Lois Lane: I'm glad I'm a writer.
- Perry White: I don't have to tell you, it isn't easy for me to lose one of my best reporters.
- Clark Kent: Oh, that's okay.
- Perry White: But you deserve the vacation, Lois.
- Lois Lane: Thank you.
- Ross Webster: You know a wise man once said, I think it was Attila the Hun, "It is not enough that I succeed, everyone else must fail."
- Lorelei: [reading Immanuel Kant's "Critique of Pure Reason"] How can he say that Pure Categories have no objective meaning in Transcendental Logic? What about Synthetic Unity?
- Lorelei: Thought you'd never get here.
- Evil Superman: Well I hope you don't expect me to save you because I don't do that anymore.
- Lorelei: Ha! Don't worry. I'm long past saving. Well. Don't let me keep you from anything.
- Evil Superman: I'm not in a rush. What did you have in mind?
- Lorelei: Lot's of things.
- Evil Superman: Oh, yeah?
- Lorelei: [Superman picks up Lorelei by the arm] Woo! If you'll do me one little favor first.
- Evil Superman: What's that?
- Lorelei: Well. See, there's this little boat, and its not going where it's supposed to go and...
- [Superman flies out to the oil tanker ship at sea and punctures the ship's hull, making the oil spill out. Then as Superman returns to Lorelei's pad]
- Lorelei: Hi.
- [Superman slowly walks into Lorelei's room]
- Lorelei: How about a little après-ski?
- [as Superman walks closer to Lorelei,]
- Lorelei: Champagne?
- [Superman proceeds to make out with Lorelei]
- Gus Gorman: I don't want to go to jail because there are robbers and rapers and rapers who rape robbers.
- Gus Gorman: You're hurting him. That's Kryptonite!
- Vera Webster: Yes. This time we got it right.
- Ross Webster: You're a genius. You've invented a machine that can find anybody's weak spot. Congratulations, old buddy. You'll go down in history as the man who killed Superman!
- Evil Superman: [after blowing acid on to his better half] What's 'a matter, Kent? Too hot for ya'? Come on chicken! You've been on my nerves for a long time!
- [Clark directs his sneeze at Ricky's bowling ball, giving him a strike and destroying the bowling pins]
- Lana Lang: Gesundheit.
- Clark Kent: Thank you.
- Jimmy Olsen: Clark, I want you to keep these people distracted so they don't know what I'm doing.
- Clark Kent: What are you doing?
- Jimmy Olsen: What am I doing? Remember what the chief said? A photographer always goes after a story.
- Clark Kent: That could be dangerous, Jimmy.
- Jimmy Olsen: Danger? Goes with the territory, Mister Kent.
- Ross Webster: Computers rule the world today. And the fellow that can fool the computers, can rule the world himself.
- Vera Webster: If you don't mind, we're trying to hold a meeting here!
- Lorelei: Why don't you hold your breath instead? Maybe you'll turn blue. Ha! Improvement.
- Vera Webster: Pay attention, people, I'm about to take a human life!
- Vera Webster: Activate circuits 29 through W7 and start full-power coordinates on exterior defensive systems.
- Lorelei: In other words, push this red button.
- Vera Webster: How did you know about that?
- Evil Superman: [Blurts out, to the disgusted crowd after exiting the bar] What're ya looking at? Huh?
- Ross Webster: What will it do?
- Gus Gorman: Anything I tell it.
- Ross Webster: What will it do for me?
- Gus Gorman: For you, it will do anything you tell me to tell it to do for you.
- White Coated Scientist: Hey. Here's that compound you ordered. Can't imagine what you want with it, but you've got it.
- Gus Gorman: What the hell am I afraid for? I'm from Earth.
- Ross Webster: My friend, you are yesterday. Whomever pulled off this caper, is tomorrow.
- Ross Webster: I'll say he was.
- Gus Gorman: I've been thinking I'm not making enough money for this gig.
- Ross Webster: Gus, if there's anything I hate, it's greed.
- Gus Gorman: Greed? Mrs. Ross, just a minute. Let me tell you something.
- [goes down ski slope]
- Gus Gorman: I can't ski!
- Fireman: Argh! Argh! I'm on fire! Help me! Help me!
- Ross Webster: I've got to get rid of him.
- Vera Webster: How? Shoot him? You know about him and bullets.