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The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak (1984)

Quotes

The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak

Edit
  • Willard: [Willard, Beth and Gwendoline are tied up at the Cheops's encampment] Gwendoline, have you ever made love?
  • Gwendoline: No.
  • Willard: I can't let you die without making love. Here, move as close as you can.
  • [They can't reach each other. Willard picks up a straw with his teeth and begins gently poking Gwendoline's face with it]
  • Willard: Look, if I was a butterfly and I lived here, and somebody tried to take me to London, I'd break their face.
  • Willard: [after the noxious cloud storm, they're all covered with desert sand] Hey, you guys okay? You're not dead or anything?
  • Gwendoline: Beth, how do you make love to a man?
  • Beth: Oh, Gwendoline, making love to a man is much easier than fighting five guards with your hands tied behind your back!
  • Gwendoline: Oh.
  • Beth: You remember the other night with Willard? Well it's the same thing but kind of not the same thing...
  • Gwendoline: I'm just worried that I'll get everything wrong!
  • Gwendoline: [Gwendoline and Willard are grappling over a precipice] Go on, let me fall! But it'll be your name I scream on the way down.
  • Willard: What?
  • Gwendoline: That's right, I belong to you body and soul.
  • [She falls]
  • Willard: Wait, Gwendoline, I don't say that kind of thing! No! Gwendoline, I love you!
  • Gwendoline: [She is squatting on an outcrop, smiling] I hope that was sincere!
  • Beth: Now Gwendoline must kill Gwendoline.
  • [Gwendoline puts on a dead guard's helmet]
  • Gwendoline: In the Yik Yak, isn't there an enormous crevice with smoking gas coming up through it?
  • Willard: Feel like dying?
  • Gwendoline: When I'm close to you, I feel safe!
  • Willard: Well, that's funny. When I'm with you, I feel just the opposite!
  • Gwendoline: Tom, you come with me. And you... go take a bath. You stink.
  • Gwendoline: How did you know?
  • Willard: Call it instinct. I'm infallible.
  • Willard: And you'll get nothing from me, you overdressed gargoyle!
  • [repeated line]
  • D'Arcy: Superb, you're superb!
  • Gwendoline: Black, you help us; Red, you'll never see us again!
  • D'Arcy: She made me do things that were against the laws of nature!
  • Willard: [as female gladiators duel to the death] You bastard! Stop this massacre!
  • D'Arcy: The Queen's will is the will of the Queen!
  • The Queen: Anyway, this is boring. I'm not at all amused.
  • D'Arcy: That's your loss. That all you want is violence. That's why they hate you.
  • Gwendoline: He was wonderful, Beth. Big blue eyes! Long white hands!
  • Beth: [to Gwendoline] Your upbringing will be the death of us!
  • Willard: [in the Cheops's prison. Gwendoline is crying] It's a little late to be afraid, don't you think?
  • Beth: [reunited] Miss... Oh, Miss... Those dirty sons of bitches! How dare they touch you!
  • Gwendoline: They tore my dress...
  • Beth: Oh, look at that...
  • Gwendoline: Will you help me mend it? My mother gave it to me.
  • Beth: Hey, big blue eyes! Can't you get off your ass and help us?
  • [Willard stands up]
  • Beth: Thank you.
  • Gwendoline: I'll never forget what you've done for us!
  • Willard: If I ever see either one of you again, you'll wish I hadn't!
  • Willard: [to the boa constrictor draped over the branch] Get out of my way!
  • [pushes it aside]
  • Willard: You're not my type!
  • Beth: Is that a boa?
  • Willard: [dripping with sarcasm] No. It's a goldfish.
  • Beth: [as she walks past the dangling snake] Ooh.
  • Gwendoline: Haven't you ever been in love with anyone before?
  • Willard: Yes. With every woman in the world, except you. No one tells me the way to live my life. I live my life the way I choose.
  • Gwendoline: I'm not asking you to change.
  • Willard: [they're still tagging him, and he sighs] What did I tell you?
  • Gwendoline: My father's in danger.
  • Willard: With a daughter like you, I'm not surprised. Know how to swim?
  • Gwendoline: No...
  • Willard: Start learning!
  • [tosses her into the ocean]
  • Willard: [to the Queen, who revealed D'Arcy isn't able to be a stud] Give me all your women, and tomorrow you will be overpopulated!
  • D'Arcy: Don't boast about it, young man. Because in your place, I'd prefer to be in mine.
  • The Queen: [Beth is a captive] This was wandering about.
  • [shoves Beth]
  • The Queen: Do something original with her!
  • [goes on her way]
  • D'Arcy: [behind Queen's back] Gargoyle!
  • The Queen: [looks back] Beg your pardon?
  • D'Arcy: [back in toady mode] Superb, you're superb!
  • The Queen: Good boy!
  • The Queen: [as Willard lunges at her through the bars of his cage] Oh, naughty canary!
  • [he shrugs defiantly]
  • The Queen: These girls are going to battle over your favor in their combat without rules. The winner will be yours. Do us the honor of giving the starting signal.
  • Gwendoline: [all three of them lying hogtied] Willard? Will you forgive me?
  • Willard: Oh, ask me anything, but don't ask me that. I don't wanna sleep badly my last night on earth!

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