Rhinestone

Rhinestone has been one of those notorious flops I'd always heard about like Glitter or Showgirls that you just had to see to believe. Now that I've seen it, I can safely say that they were right. Unfortunately, Rhinestone isn't some hidden gem that just had the misfortune of bad marketing, cruel reviews, or being ahead of its time - it's truly terrible.

The story has Dolly Parton as a country western singer in NYC who's desperate to get out of a contract she's locked herself into with a sleazy Ron Liebman. In order to do this, they wager a bet that she can't turn a regular Joe off the street into a "rhinestone cowboy." They pick dimwitted cabbie Sylvester Stallone and it becomes apparent that Parton has her work cut out for her.

In typical rom com fashion, Parton and Stallone strike up somewhat of a romance, but the main issue is that they have very little chemistry together. Stallone seems miscast from the get go. He doesn't have a funny or musical bone in this body and most of the film shows Parton struggling to get him to lighten up and it's very uncomfortable to watch. Perhaps if there'd been a different leading man, this would have worked since the concept isn't horrible.

Parton proves again that she's a natural on screen and she's enjoyable even when the film isn't.

I watched this the other day FOR THE FIRST TIME might i add. I never even knew about this film until i saw it round a mate's house.

I watched it thinking is was one of those early cheese flicks that were around during the 80's, after Sly success with Rocky and before his success with Rambo. Happily i was wrong, this was hilarious.

The story is well done and one that was entertaining. I was expecting to fall asleep during this film but i stayed awake the whole time and didn't yawn once. Sly looked well out of place in this picture but that was the whole idea and he does it brilliantly, playing a New York Cabbie who don't know the first thing about country music. And when he sang during the first half of the movie it was in stitches. He was excruciatingly awful,and I was literally crying laughter. However when he did sing with the lovely Dolly Parton, he was good. This film is kind of like Rocky meets Nashville with a great performance from everyone involved.

Rhinestone is one of those gems of a movie that is a classic later on in it's years. This is Sly at his comedy best,he don't play it for laughs he is just himself (so to speak). Forget Stop or my mom will shoot or Oscar, this is Sly at his comedy best. he can do comedy and it shows right here.

I dare you not to be tapping your foot by the end. This will go with my Good Sylvester Stallone films.

I remember RHINESTONE's extremely short tenure in theaters when I was a teenager but never saw the film until it turned up unexpectedly on Country Music Television (CMT) earlier this week. I sat down expecting to laugh AT the movie, not WITH it, because on paper, the idea of Sylvester Stallone learning to become a country singer so that Dolly Parton can win a bet with her sleazy manager sounds like a train wreck of Biblical proportions. But y'know what? In spite of myself I found myself chuckling at the screwball humor in RHINESTONE. Stallone is not exactly known for his comedic stylings, but I have to give him credit, he gave it the old college try in his role as a mumble-mouthed NYC cabbie who tries hard to discover his inner redneck. Dolly Parton, well, she's Dolly Parton. She made quite a few movies in the late 70s and early 80s and though she may not be considered a great actress, she's light, funny, and easy on the eyes as well. Some of the priceless moments include Sly's fringed, sparkly stage wear (which wouldn't have looked out of place in the Blue Oyster Bar of "Police Academy" fame), Dolly punching out Tim Thomerson (Jack Deth would be horrified at how easily she took him out!), and Sly's race through the mean streets of 1984 Times Square on horseback to rescue Dolly from her manager's clutches. On the musical side, well, let's just say I doubt that the soundtrack album to RHINESTONE burned up the charts back in '84. Dolly can sing anything and make it sound good, so Sly should be grateful that she joins him on stage in the big finale to salvage his "performance" (and I use that term loosely). I doubt Sly Stallone looks back on this movie with much fondness, but considering that I was expecting a total cheese fest I was pleasantly surprised by this fluffy '80s comedy. They really don't make'em like this anymore.

I love this movie. Not because it is a particularly good movie but it definitely leaves a memorable impression. In what other film can you see Sylvester Stallone adorned in a fringed jacket, western shirt, tight pants, chaps, and high heeled cowboy boots? I mean please, who could ask for more? Stallone attempts to sing as well. I have heard worse. Also, the dialog is hilarious. Being from the South, it resonates with the sounds of my youth. Of course, Rhinestone is filled with the obvious stereotypical portrayals of rural residents. However, it is not rude or mean spirited to the populace located below the Mason Dixon line. In a fashion, the movie rather celebrates and embraces those individuals. Believe me, there are some memorable moments to this cinematic adventure. Just give it a chance - spend 111 minutes laughing at Stallone and singing with Dolly. If the more urbane members of my clan can appreciate this film even high brow viewers can participate in parody from time to time.

Now, there are lots of films that are total trash, and when I saw the comments and reviews on this one, I thought I was in for a real stinker. Big surprise: I actually laughed several times during this! Dialogue unfunny? I've heard some good stuff here (e.g. the comments by Stallone on his rival Barnett, as well as the dialogue of these two), and you could do a lot worse. And I mean A LOT! Bad acting? Now, Sly will never be an oscar-winner (though he was pretty good in COPLAND), but at least he's likeable. I've never seen Steven Seagal or my fellow countryman JC Van Damme being likeable. Dolly may not be the greatest actress either, but hell, she CAN sing (and I thought I couldn't stand country!)and she's adorable in a way that even reminds me of Marilyn Monroe. Love it when she laughs too. Well, and with support from actors such as Ron Leibman (Razzie nominee? This guy is funny and appropriately slimy)and Richard Farnsworth (THE STRAIGHT STORY, always a pleasure to watch). The singing? Well, if ya like Dolly's singing, there's plenty of it in this film. And Sly ain't that bad either. Not great, but hey, what you expect given the story. This is supposed to sound like this, this ain't the biography of say Garth Brooks! I even liked the macho country singer singing about his girl ending up in pieces (lol).

I know, this ain't the greatest comedy of all times, this ain't a rave review, and people (especially critics) like to make fun of Sly and Dolly. But you can do a lot worse than this and end up with films such as BAD DEFENSE or BATMAN & ROBIN, EXCESS BAGGAGE, SHALLOW HAL or (shudder) BLIND DATE (with Bruce Willis). I was really surprised that I ended up enjoying this, and that I actually laughed a couple of times. The story has almost no surprises, but it ain't terribly cliched either. And that, people, is more than you can say about 90% of the comedies these days. 6/10