After taking over a failing Miami hotel with her workaholic fiancé, Elliot, Tracy thinks Liza has seduced her better half-to-be. She then tries to have an affair of her own, and arranges for... Read allAfter taking over a failing Miami hotel with her workaholic fiancé, Elliot, Tracy thinks Liza has seduced her better half-to-be. She then tries to have an affair of her own, and arranges for hookers to become bellhops. Meanwhile, her rich daddy hires an inept arsonist to blow up ... Read allAfter taking over a failing Miami hotel with her workaholic fiancé, Elliot, Tracy thinks Liza has seduced her better half-to-be. She then tries to have an affair of her own, and arranges for hookers to become bellhops. Meanwhile, her rich daddy hires an inept arsonist to blow up the place.
- Marie
- (as Marie Currie Lukather)
- Brad
- (as Danny Greene)
Featured reviews
Even so there're a couple of laughs, but nothing really outstanding. Much of the lack of comedic punch can be attributed to a lack of coverage (as is typical with moderately budgeted studio films). Few, if any cutaways, poor sound, and reliance on basic camera angles; definitely a slam production.
Typical 80's sexploitation; has some interesting comedic conceptions, but it's market driven art. The DVD is a poor dupe of a second generation 3/4" tape; fuzzy image, poor sound, etc.
It brought a smirk to my face, but then again I saw the thing back when it came out. Otherwise give this one a pass.
Tracy (Colleen Camp) is a rich girl who loves Elliot (Peter Scolari), a spineless man who has practically no personality throughout the film. For some odd reason, she wants to marry him despite her father (Christoper Lee) not caring for the guy. Heck, if I were in the father's shoes, I'd rather she marry a ball of lint as it would have more personality. So, to impress her old man, Elliot agrees to run one of her father's hotels...not realizing the father is planning on burning it to the ground.
The film's plot sound like it could have worked...but it never does. This is because repeatedly, when the film could have delivered laughs, women inexplicably take their clothes off. But as a sex film, it needs more and as a comedy, it needs SOME...and what you're left with is pretty dopey....as if written by Bevis and or Butthead. Overall a terrible film with passable original music.
Eye Candy: Monique Gabrielle, Julia Always, Durga McBroom, Tina Merkle, Julia Parton, & Paula Wood all show T&A
My Grade: D-
Where I saw it: Netflix online via Xbox 360
It may be due to having seen this first late at night via whatever premium cable movie channel it aired on in the mid-1980's when I was a teenaged horndog on the lookout for a little t & a on television. Sort of a wistful nostalgia for a time when seeing women disrobed wasn't readily available anywhere at anytime with the mere click of a button or swipe of a screen.
I should also say I've enjoyed other flicks lead actress Colleen Camp has been in. I always liked Christopher Lee in the Hammer Dracula stuff. Fran Drescher isn't an actress I've ever much liked, although her appearance in this movie was very early in her career thus she wasn't yet amping up her accent and annoying vocal mannerisms.
I think a lot of it has to come down to The Rosebud Beach Hotel just being a film I couldn't make sense of. It wouldn't be inaccurate to define it in the strictest terms as an 80's sexploitation comedy except for the fact that it was neither stimulating nor was it funny. There is a bare-bones plot which I'm fine with in that I never really required the boner comedies I enjoyed in my teen years to have intricate storylines.
I didn't find the amount of characters and subplots (of which there were many) by default to be either confusing or inhibiting. It just all came down to the sight gags and one-liners failing to connect with me. Very dumb jokes on a very juvenile level that failed to amuse me when I was 15 years old back in 1985. Then again, what else does one expect when your movie has Eddie Deezen as the onscreen comic relief? As another reviewer elsewhere mentioned, even the nudity here feels forced and out of nowhere, as if the director or producer or whomever suddenly decided mid-film that it was time to show some boobies. Mind you, I had no objections then (nor do I now) about nudity on film, but nudity on film is one of those things where if it isn't approached with at least some eroticism the result is awkward, as is the case here.
Let's see, what else? The movie was shot on what appears to be a cheap grade of film. Pretty grainy, visually. In addition, the movie barely rounds out at 83 minutes and I'd wager a good 10 minutes of those involve the opening and closing credits that recycle footage shown again during the movie to list the cast and crew over. About the only positive aspect I enjoyed circa 2024 was seeing and hearing Cherie and Marie Currie sing several tunes that certainly screamed mid-80's hair metal pop rock.
Lee is introduced in a swordfight scene that comes out of nowhere. When it first came on I assumed it was an excerpt from another movie the characters were watching. Unfortunately, no. It was still this one.
There is one of those godawful, lengthy musical interludes where some third rate songwriters have churned out a dreadful parody of whatever dated type of music was big at the time - here it is hair metal. Later, the trick is repeated with a power ballad that isn't quite as bad, or as lengthy, as the tacky, soulless metal track.
The beautiful Fran Drescher shows up, apparently playing a prostitute. An example of the filmmakers' idiocy is the fact that she was not cast as the female lead. She is beautiful, charming, funny, brave - a born star. The lead actress is totally forgettable.
The hotel (apparently actually called the Fiesta Hotel? How did they stuff that up in the title?) is supposed to be inhabited by a bunch of kooky characters, including a creepy nerd who thinks he's from another planet, and a creepy army man who thinks he's at war.
The movie has a few inserts of topless women that seem to come out of nowhere. It's not a sex comedy or a dirty movie or whatever. Watch the "Carry On" films. At least they managed a bawdy, lewd tone where the flashes of nudity fit. This one is a lame brained comedy that some pornographer has sabotaged with a few seconds of smut.
There is apparently some kind of attempt to make Christopher Lee the villain of this story. But his scenes are so disjointed and poorly inserted into the movie that I never really understood what he was doing in it. Most of this movie, at least, makes very little sense. There is hardly any narrative, just a set-up.
The conclusion made no sense to me either.
Did you know
- TriviaThis is the first film sisters Cherie and Marie Currie acted in together.
- Quotes
Elliot Garner: I'm an engaged man and I really... I do... I love Tracy... I do. I love her, I love her and, ah... I... I... I... I wouldn't, wouldn't do anything to hurt her.
Liza: But she won't feel a thing.
- SoundtracksRomeo
Written by Stephen Crane
Produced by Marie Currie (as Marie Currie Lukather)
Co-Produced by Stephen Crane
Engineer: Brian Malouf
Assistant Engineer: Ann Calivan
Performed by Cherie Currie, Stephen Crane, Duane Sciacqua (as Dwane Sciacqua), Jody Cortez, Ron Rayburn
Recorded at Can-Am Recorders, Reseda, California
Published by Croone Music
Stephen Crane courtesy of MCA Records
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Details
- Release date
- Country of origin
- Language
- Also known as
- Отель «Никому не скажу»
- Production company
- See more company credits at IMDbPro
- Runtime1 hour 23 minutes
- Sound mix