- Bob: Check it out!
- Chuck: Whoa! Wenches!
- [both approach two girls]
- Bob: Hi, I'm Bob. Excuse me, but are you available for dating?
- Hot Potato #1: Well, perhaps. What did you have in mind?
- Bob: Are you clean?
- Menlo: I used to want to be like the other kids, you know! I wanted to be a surfer! I wanted to be hip and bitchy and gnarly, but that's over now, it all ended one miserable afternoon: I was having an innocent soda, and they spiked it! And you know with what?
- [lifts up shirt to reveal a pair of breasts]
- Menlo: With a powerful reverse-sex hormone! Do you know what it's like to be the only guy at the beach with tits?
- [having an argument on the phone]
- Bob's Father: Oh yeah, one more thing, O'Finlay: SCHLONG!
- [hangs up]
- Bob's Father: What an asshole.
- Chuck's Dad: If you're worried about your kids, lock them up, beat them, do anything you damn well please, but for Christ's sake, don't stop innocent kids from drinking cola and surfing, it's the American way! Surfing's built this town... and it's damn well built this country.
- [after watching a zombie smash open a vending machine with its head]
- Johnny Big Head: Must be from L.A.! A-bow-bow!
- Sparkle: Menlo Schwartzer was a genius... a brilliant chemist. Talk about having it all: he was short, ugly, near-sighted and carried a slide rule.
- Chief Boyardie: This won't be easy, but you boys know all the surfers in this area and I need identification. Well, there it is.
- Bob: What is it?
- Chief Boyardie: Surfers. Two, maybe three. What's left of them.
- Chuck: What happened?
- Chief Boyardie: We're not sure. One thing's certain, it wasn't suicide.
- Chuck: How do you know?
- Chief Boyardie: There's no motive. Besides, it's impossible to cut off your own arms and legs... and head.
- [steps into a driving arcade game]
- Johnny Big Head: Have to drive to stay alive!
- Cindy Lou: Johnny, you can't: it says it's out of order.
- Johnny Big Head: Don't matter! I can't read!
- Chuck: He's got an IQ of 53.
- Cindy Lou: That's impossible!
- Johnny Big Head: I know! I cheated! A-bow-bow!
- Beaker: Full moon out. Perfect for night surfing.
- Jacko O'Finlay: Yeah, you wanna come watch?
- Sparkle: I don't think that's a very good idea... aren't you worried about those two guys who got mutilated out there today?
- Jacko O'Finlay: Nah, we'll surf around them.
- Daddy O: What have we here, Chef?
- Chief Boyardie: Well, I'm not sure. But nobody goes near the water until I get to the bottom of it and don't call me "Chef".