Quotes

Up the Creek

Dean Burch: You're not *at* the bottom of the list, you *are* the bottom of the list.

Bob McGraw: Well, you just made it through the world's most dangerous rapid... and now... it's beer time!
Irwin: You mean I risked my life and you give me lite-beer?

Bob McGraw: Let's just say I slipped on a bar of soap in the shower as a bus ran out of control and crashed into the medicine cabinet.

Heather Merriweather: [Walking away from Rex] I have nothing to say to you.
Bob McGraw: Well I'm sure if you just took the time to get to know me we could work something out.

Bob McGraw: Wanna fool around? Wanna get married? Want fellatio or what? If I'm being too forward, just tell me to back off.
Heather Merriweather: Um, how about a name first.

Heather Merriweather: Why don't you come on in and shut the door. Why don't you lock it. Why don't you...
Bob McGraw: I think I can take it from here.

Bob McGraw: He needed shave, bath, a cup of coffee and a good woman, something told him he was in the wrong place.

Bob McGraw: At that moment he knew what the night held in store for them, and he liked the smell of it.

Chuck the Wonder Dog: [Barking while running along the creek, holding Irwin's underwear in his mouth]
Bob McGraw: Hey! It's Chuck! Hey, Chucker!
Chuck the Wonder Dog: [Whines, barks, and rolls around on the bank of the creek]
Max: Bob, it looks like he's been drinking again...
Gonzer: No, no, no, no, no... not drinking, look in his mouth! It's Irwin's underwear!
Max: Oh, well then no wonder he's acting like that.
Chuck the Wonder Dog: [Drops Irwin's underwear and gags]
Bob McGraw: That can mean only one thing!
Gonzer: Irwin's naked!
Bob McGraw: Right! And Chuck knows where he is! Let's go!

Bob McGraw: [Being chased by the Preppies from Ivy College, realizes he's run down a dead end] Shit!
[Turns around]
Bob McGraw: Hold it, hold it, hold it! Guys, guys! Now I know you're all wondering why I called you down here tonight. Be... cause I want to talk to you
[points at one of the Preppies]
Bob McGraw: about herpes.
[Throws a punch before proceeding to get beat up]

Powers: What's he doing? He should be here by now. Johnson, go get Captain Braverman.
Johnson: You go get him. I don't miss him.
Powers: Points to the badge on his Jacket Johnson, you see this? You know what this means?
Johnson: Puts his hand on his crotch Hey, you see this Sparkey? You know what this means? Huh?

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