Commando

Rating: *** 1/2 out of ****

Every time I'm accused by friends of being too tough or too picky on action movies made for pure entertainment (i.e. the works of Jerry Bruckheimer), I point back and tell them to look no further than Mark L. Lester's Commando as the prime example of a pure macho classic and the standard by which all mindless action cinema should be judged.

In its own simplistic ways, Commando is actually the epitome of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Whenever we think of the Austrian muscle-bound star's films; gun battles, fist fights, deadpan one-liners, a total lack of plot, and a ridiculously high body count come to mind. Commando represents all this, directed with high energy flair and a great sense of fun.

Schwarzenegger stars as John Matrix, a former commando who lives in the mountains with his young daughter (Alyssa Milano). Matrix's former teammates are being knocked off one-by-one at the orders of a Latino dictator (Dan Hedaya) who wants Matrix to assassinate a popular South American leader so that he can be instilled back in power. As incentive, Matrix's daughter is kidnapped by renegade military, led by Bennett (Vernon Wells), who was once part of Matrix's team. As soon as Matrix boards his flight, he kills his escort, leaps off the plane, and begins his eleven-hour search for his daughter. Inexplicably joining his search is a flight attendant (Rae Dawn Chong) who gets mixed up in this whole mess.

Commando is one of those critically berated movies that only concerns itself with giving its target audience a good time. Running at a lightning fast ninety minutes, the film is packed to the gunnels with explosive action sequences and quotable one-liners. In fact, the lines are so fun, I have a hard time choosing my favorites. Here are a few examples: "I eat green berets for breakfast and I'm very hungry,""Remember when I said I'd kill you last? I lied," and "Let off some steam, Bennett!"

The script is mindless and idiotic, but serves its purpose by providing just enough plot and enormously entertaining one-liners to keep the momentum from ebbing. There are also plenty of noticeable continuity errors (ask yourself how a guy standing behind a railing atop a balcony could be hit with shotgun pellets without the railing taking the slightest bit of damage!), but that just adds to the movie's list of unique charms.

But you don't watch Commando for plot or technical brilliance, you watch it to see Arnold acting as a one-man army, mowing down scores of enemy thugs and soldiers. Whether it's through the movie's various shootouts, fistfights, or chases, the movie delivers thrilling action one scene after another. The climactic battle sequence, in which he single-handedly takes on at least a hundred men, will either make or break the film for you. Me, I had a blast watching Arnold inflict his brand of justice upon these nasty villains. Unless you don't like Arnold or over-the-top action films, it's unlikely you'll find Commando boring.

Schwarzenegger's charismatic and hugely likable screen presence is undeniable, and his delivery of those classic one-liners is perfect. Luckily, the movie has an equally strong villain in Vernon Wells, who delights in chewing the scenery and generally acting as insane as possible in any given situation. From his manic facial expressions to his questionable tastes in clothing, Wells makes Bennett one of the few villains that really stand out in an Arnold flick. You know the movie's going to boil down to a one-on-one fight between the two, and it's one of those fight scenes where each one takes his turn beating the crud out of the other without one ever truly having the upper hand until the very end (when, obviously, one of them's got to be dead).

For pure mindless mayhem, Commando is a perfect choice for Saturday night entertainment. I first saw the film on its network broadcast premiere, and distinctly remember that in the scene where Arnold hides in the garden house (which is the film's goriest part), the movie is edited in such a way that it appears only one man approaches the house instead of six!

John Matrix (Arnold Schwarzenegger) was an elite special op who is now retired living in his mountain home with his daughter Jenny (Alyssa Milano). His men are getting killed one by one. One of his former group Bennett (Vernon Wells) joins warlord Arius (Dan Hedaya) to start a coup in his home country. They kidnap Jenny to force John Matrix to fly down to that country to assassinate the president. However he escapes from the flight to track down Jenny with the help of Cindy (Rae Dawn Chong) who he grabs at the airport.

The best thing about this movie is that it doesn't take its time to get started. The action gets going right away. The bad guy has barely gotten one line out about his kidnapped daughter before he gets a bullet in his head. It's all action from Schwarzenegger. There is no negotiations. He delivers some delicious one-liners. The most memorable is "Remember Sully when I promised to kill you last? I lied!!". And who could forget the Jamaican steel drum music. It's just a fun movie.

When I was growing up, I had two heroes on the big screen. One was Rambo and the other was Indiana Jones. They were two relentless characters that would never stop, never give up and their tenacity was stuff that kids or teens would swear by. When we were playing adventure games those were the two characters that always got chosen to play first. But the same year that Rambo II came out, a new hero was born. We all knew who Arnold was, he was the Terminator. But when Commando was released, one of my best friends said to me, " Hey Dan, I think this guy could take Rambo." After all Matrix says to Cook, " I eat green berets for breakfast and right now I'm very hungry!" I would maybe have to concur. Matrix was the toughest man alive ( until MacGyver came out ). And Commando is one of the best memories that I have as a young man growing up in the 80's. Besides it being a damn fine, fun movie, it also has two other elements that began to teach me about film. First a young Bill Paxton was in it and secondly I began to notice the name Joel Silver. He is the producer extraordinaire that is the man behind hits like Die Hard, Predator, Weird Science and more recently The Matrix. Now I look for his name in the producers chair and when he is on that poster as producer, I'll run to that movie.

Commando doesn't pretend to be something that it's not. The Rambo character was more into politics and it took itself a little more seriously than Commando did and that's fine. But this film is nothing but entertainment. It starts fast and violent and it ends hard and violent. You think Rambo kills a lot in Rambo, then count the bodies in this one. But it is so much fun because not only does Arnold have fun with it, but the script, as cheesy as it may seem is actually brilliant. Arnold's one liners are now a staple of his film persona and I think you can look at this film as the root of that persona. For example " Any carry on luggage? " the stewardess asks Arnold, " Just him," he replies pointing at the thug that is escorting him onto the plane. After he beats the hell out of Bill Duke he says, " We'll take Cooks car, he won't be needing it." And of course, to Bennett when they are about to fight mano a mano, "Come on Bennett, let's party!" Commando is littered with small moments like that you won't soon forget. It has stayed with me for 15 years and me and my friends rent it every now and again to laugh and cheer. If this a film that you haven't seen yet, then do so. If you haven't seen this film in quite a while, you should treat yourself to it. It is fun fun and more fun. And this is the first film that Arnold reprises his famous line " I'll be back!" So what's not to like about it?

'Commando (1985)' is slightly camp, a bit cheesy and ever so slightly sub-par and it knows it. This action flick aims solely for that 'turn-your-brain-off' guilty pleasure crowd and hits its mark dead-on. It's hard to watch without a smile on your face. Though it is silly - even stupid at times - and incredibly over-the-top, it is also ostentatious, or just toeing that line, which means you can laugh with the picture rather than at it. You do get the undeniable sense that a cringe-worthy one-liner combined with an outlandish, infinite-ammo action-sequence is just kind of awesome. 6/10.

Commando is directed by Mark L. Lester and written by Jeph Loeb, Matthew Weisman and Steven E. de Souza. It stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rae Dawn Chong, Dan Hedaya, Vernon Wells, James Olson, David Patrick Kelly, Alyssa Milano and Bill Duke. Music is by James Horner and cinematography by Matthew F. Leonetti.

John Matrix (Schwarzenegger) is the former leader of a special commando strike force that always got the toughest jobs done. He is forced back into action when his young daughter (Milano) is kidnapped by kingpin criminal Arius (Hedaya) and his gang of thugs. They want Matrix to carry out an assassination, but all Matrix has on his mind is to save his daughter - he has half a day to do so before the thugs will kill her - so it's now a private war...

After playing "Conan" and "The Terminator", Schwarzenegger slipped into a role that would prove to carry all the hallmarks of the big man's action movie career. Commando is awash with outrageous action, pure carnage and gruesome deaths, plenty of quippy one liners, and of course over the top villains.

Clocking in at just 90 minutes in length, it's the perfect "leave the brain at the door" popcorn crowd pleaser. Chong gets a well written lead lady part, giving us a spunky heroine who evolves as the plot grows ever more chaotic, and young Milano gets to play a resourceful child character.

High art it is not, but who cares if you want to just watch Arnie waylay a whole army on his own. Great fun. 7/10