- Bobby: Emily, there's something I never told you. Something I've been wanting to tell you for a long time... I love you. I always have, and I always will.
- Rafferty: Going somewhere?
- Bobby: Yeah, Uptown.
- Rafferty: No, you're not.
- Bobby: What do you mean, I'm not? I saved his life, didn't I? What am I supposed to do?
- Rafferty: Become his friend.
- Bobby: You gotta be kidding me.
- Rafferty: He needs someone to talk to.
- Bobby: Well, buy him a German Shepherd.
- Rafferty: He thinks he's worthless.
- Bobby: Well, he might be on to something!
- Rafferty: It's your job to show him he's not.
- Bobby: How am I supposed to do that?
- Rafferty: That is up to you!
- Bobby: Pretty cool, huh, kid?
- Lenny Barnes: Yeah, I'll be the only kid in school with a bullet-proof head.
- Bobby: Look kid, now you're really starting to piss me off! You think I wanna be doing this? No way! But I wanna get to Uptown and the only way I can do that is by following the rules! So that's why I'm here. Personally, I think I'm wasting my time with you. Personally, I think the whole thing is hopeless!
- Bobby: The way I see it, you got one major problem: No confidence. You got no confidence because you got no style. But we're gonna change all that.
- Lenny Barnes: How?
- Bobby: Same way we're gonna get that cute little blonde to notice you. I'm gonna give you a new image. I'm gonna give you flash!
- Melissa: [Seeing Lenny staring at Sharon] I don't know why you waste your time, she doesn't know you exist.
- Lenny Barnes: Yeah but someday she will.
- Fred Gallo: Yo, Barnes! Who let a wus like you in here?
- Lenny Barnes: I work here!
- McIntyre: Christ, what a joke! Max must be desperate huh!
- Dope Dealer: [Bobby and Rafferty are observing a drug dealer selling dope] Let me tell you something, man. This shit is so fine, it's gonna turn your head inside out, upside down, in every which way. It's gonna totally destroy your mind.
- Bobby: Where are we, Mars?
- Rafferty: No, Fort Lauderdale!
- Bobby: [Bobby is trying to prove he has magic powers] See that tree? I'm gonna make it disappear.
- [Bobby points to the tree but nothing happens. He experiments with different gestures but the tree remains]
- Bobby: Rafferty said there was an act to it.
- Lenny Barnes: Maybe you should try something a little different. Something easier. Y'know make it rain, or turn yourself into a duck?
- [Starts giggling]
- Bobby: Don't piss me off kid!
- Lenny Barnes: [Bobby is trying to prove he has magic powers. He opens one of Lenny's school folders and sees some handwritten assignments] What are you doing?
- Bobby: I've been too ambitious.
- Lenny Barnes: [Bobby pulls out some sheets of paper from the folder] Hey, that's my term paper!
- [Bobby casually rips the papers in half]
- Lenny Barnes: WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?
- Bobby: [Casually] Trust me.
- [Bobby puts the ripped sheets back in the folder and waves his fingers over it. He then opens the folder and looks the other way]
- Bobby: Check it out.
- [Lenny grabs the torn sheets and holds them up to Bobby]
- Bobby: Got any tape?
- Bobby: [Bobby tries to prove to Lenny that he has magic powers by standing in front of a truck and making it pass through him. However, he ckickens out at the last second and jumps out the way] I may be dead, but I ain't crazy!
- Lenny Barnes: [Lenny tries on some new clothes Bobby picked out for him] I'm not sure I like this.
- Bobby: Why not?
- Lenny Barnes: It's not me.
- Bobby: You wanna be you? OK!
- [Bobby clicks his fingers and Lenny becomes butt-naked in the clothing store]
- Bobby: [Panicked] Ok I like it, I like it! Honestly, I really like it!
- [Bobby clicks his fingers again and the clothes return]
- Bobby: [Teaching Lenny how to approach women] Lesson number one - you own the joint. When you walk into a room, you want all eyes on YOU. You want everybody in that room thinking, "Hey, who is that kid?" Second, you always look like you got everything covered. Chicks like to think you got all the answers.
- Lenny Barnes: When exactly was it that you passed away?
- Bobby: Why?
- Lenny Barnes: Well, that's just sorta old-fashioned thinking nowadays.
- Bobby: Hey, it worked for me, it's gonna work for you! I guarantee it!
- Lenny Barnes: [Bobby is driving Lenny to a club to meet women] I don't think this is gonna work!
- Bobby: What kinda talk is that?
- Lenny Barnes: It's called intelligence!
- Lenny Barnes: Did you see the way she was hanging on me? I mean, she was ALL OVER me! Was I looking good or what?
- Bobby: You did just fine, kid. In fact, there were moments tonight where you almost reminded me of myself.
- Lenny Barnes: Really?
- Bobby: Yeah. You definitely got potential.
- Lenny Barnes: Alright!
- Bobby: Of course, you got a ways to go. Rome wasn't built in a day, make no mistake, you definitely were in worse shape than Rome!
- Bobby: [Smoking some dope] What is this stuff?
- Lenny Barnes: It's called grass.
- Bobby: I'm smoking somebody's lawn?
- Fred Gallo: [Seeing Lenny's Chevy] So Barnes, where'd you steal this thing?
- Lenny Barnes: Built it myself.
- Fred Gallo: [Chuckles] Yeah, bullshit.
- Lenny Barnes: It's easy, Gallo. I just use something you haven't got - brains!
- Student: [Looking at the engine bay of Lenny's Chevy] Hey, this is really nice man. Tell me, is this a six cylinder or a V8?
- Lenny Barnes: Both!
- Fred Gallo: I got business with you, Barnes.
- Lenny Barnes: Oh? Need some help tutoring?
- Fred Gallo: I'm gonna kick your ass!
- Lenny Barnes: I don't like the way that sounds.
- Fred Gallo: Yeah? You're not gonna like the way that FEELS, either!
- Lenny Barnes: [after knocking out Fred Gallo by smacking him across the face with his 'Plays of William Shakespeare' book] Thanks, Will!
- Sharon: [after sex in the car] You did OK for a first timer.
- Lenny Barnes: What do you mean?
- Sharon: Don't be embarrassed. I've made it with a lot of first timers!
- Bobby: [Hiding in the back seat] Yuck!
- Fred Gallo: Do you know what a gut race is, Barnes? Seperates guys like me, from chickenshits like you! We've got the cars and everything setup at the quarry. All YOU have to do, is show up! Just between you and me, I don't think you will. Then again, I happen to think there's nothing but a candy-ass underneath all those fancy clothes of yours!
- Bobby: Rafferty, it ain't gonna work. I got nothing in common with this kid. He's a complete square! He even puked on me!
- Bobby: [Sitting in a cafe in Midtown] To tell you the truth, I was expecting something different. Like angels and harps, that sorta stuff.
- Bobby: [Lenny and Bobby come home drunk] I should've stopped you after that second beer!
- Lenny Barnes: Hey... I'm in control!
- [Stumbles over the couch and laughs hysterically]
- Bobby: You're definitely in control!
- Bobby: [Bobby and Lenny come home drunk and laughing loudly] Man, you are terrible!
- Lenny Barnes: Shhh! Shhh!
- Bobby: They can't hear me!
- Lenny Barnes: Right... Right!
- Emily Barnes: What's happening?
- Joe Barnes: Our son is drunk.
- Emily Barnes: Drunk? Are you sure?
- Joe Barnes: He barely made it up the stairs!