- Phil Grenville: It's not working!
- Sandy Matthews: It will. It has too!
- Phil Grenville: Maybe you're suppose to say some words or something. Huh? What words?
- Sandy Matthews: [sorrowly] I love you. Goodbye, Phil.
- Phil Grenville: Captain Jensen, three reports. Don't you think that adds up to something?
- Captain Warren Jensen: Sure I do! Werewolves, zombies, vampires, goblins, and little green men add up to... "Let's all have fun with the cops."
- Sandy Matthews: C'mon, Phil. I told you the fuzz wouldn't be able to help us!
- Captain Warren Jensen: Fuzz?
- Sgt. Thompson: It's been a long time since we heard that.
- Phil Grenville: Captain Jensen, this really did happen!
- Captain Warren Jensen: Sure it did. I got your report.
- [grins smugly]
- Captain Warren Jensen: Happy Halloween.
- Mary Masterson: So what's this about you and Vinnie? Are you two breaking up? You two are practically married.
- Melissa Cavender: Married? God no, please.
- Mary Masterson: Well it's like you're married, you do everything.
- Melissa Cavender: We do *not* do everything.
- Mary Masterson: Well, almost everything. So what's going on, you two breaking up?
- Melissa Cavender: I don't know. It's so... it's so... I don't know.
- Mary Masterson: I just love it when you take a stab. 'It's so... it's so... '
- Melissa Cavender: I don't know.
- Mary Masterson: Right!
- [last lines]
- Radio D.J.: [voice-over] Hey the first caller after midnight on the Wolfman's dedication line is a young lady who really wanted to make sure we got this right out right away. It's from Sandy to Phil.
- [Phil hits his car brakes, stops for a few seconds, and then happily drives away into the night as 'Baby I'm Yours' starts to play]
- Melissa Cavender: Astrious Mundabar Desmagon... I envoke your powers. Come Heed my bidding on this night of nights. The eve of somehain, all Hallows Eve. Spirits of darkness, I command you to rise from your graves. EtLavamous Sagamaine, All manner of demons. I emplore your release from Eternal torment. Testegas Sogamaine. All man are of dead, renewed by sleep. Thirsting for blood, this night and forever, he who is touched by evil, shall become evil. Sodamous sogamaine. He who has died, shall rise again, bestamous sogamhaine. Life to the dead, Death to the living. Demons arise, arise, arise.
- Melissa Cavender: So what do you think? Red... or white?
- Lucinda Cavender: Red. Definitely Red.
- [Bares fangs]
- Radio D.J.: [voice-over] Yeah it's the Wolfman and it's Halloween! So we goin' be rocking to the midnight hour with the weird tunes! It's straight down baby, for all you young lovers. So guys, grab your favorite ghoul and hold her real tight, give her a love bite, because tonight just might be the night!
- Phil Grenville: Halloween. The holiday we now call Halloween used to be called All Hallow's Eve, and it was a pagan festival that fired upon the powers of darkness.
- [Vinnie slams his book on the floor]
- Vicky Jensen: Okay guys, that's enough.
- Phil Grenville: Food left for wandering dead souls was how the idea of trick or treat got started, and costumes were worn, costumes were worn to scare away the evil spirits on the night they had the most power. In the early years of the town, Nathanial Grenville, my great, great, great, great grandfather, was minister and constable general. Anyhow these guys back then believed in all this stuff about witches, and as it so happened one of the most powerful witches came from right here in Pitchford Cove, or Pitchfork Cove as it got to be known because of what happened. And this witch was Lucinda, Grenville's slave, and the great, great, great, great grandmother of Melissa Cavender.
- Melissa Cavender: Great, great, I know, I know, we all know, it was that old black magic. Thank you.
- Phil Grenville: Lucinda brought a terrible curse on the town, Halloween was the best time to do it, when witchcraft is at its most powerful. All the legendary demons of hell were loosed, and the dead with unfinished business came back from the grave. Though no one knows how he did it, Nathanial Grenville, the witch hunter general as he was later called, put an end to the curse at midnight on Halloween, and all the demons were laid to rest. All except Lucinda who was hung in the town square in the early morning hours following Halloween. These wax figures of Lucinda and Nathanial Grenville, the witch and the witch hunter, are dressed in authentic period outfits passed down to the archives of the old church, which now house the witchcraft museum in the town square.
- Mitch Crandall: [whispers to Vinnie] Hey, I got an idea. Yeah, I got a really hot idea.
- Phil Grenville: I don't know, stealing these costumes is crazy.
- Mitch Crandall: It's not stealing, it's borrowing, we're gonna bring them back in the morning.
- Phil Grenville: Not if we get caught.
- Mary Masterson: Oh come on, Phil, don't be a pooper.
- Phil Grenville: I'm not a pooper.
- Mitch Crandall: Nobody's gonna catch us. Worst comes to worst, my dad will get us off.
- Mary Masterson: Ooh, Judge Crandall the hanging judge, sentences his own son to death.
- [makes a choking noise as she pulls up her tie]
- Mitch Crandall: No way, it's Halloween, everybody goofs on Halloween.
- Mary Masterson: [taking the trunk through the cemetery] Hey, isn't Vernon Nestor buried here somewhere?
- Phil Grenville: Yeah, I think so.
- Vinnie Davis: Who's Vernon Nestor?
- Melissa Cavender: Coming from New York, you wouldn't know about psychotic mass murderers.
- Vinnie Davis: Come on, we got a few of those where I come from.
- Mary Masterson: 18 bodies buried in his backyard. Eww.
- Phil Grenville: Yeah, your old man sure nailed him good, eh?
- Mitch Crandall: He just sentenced him, he didn't throw the switch.
- Mary Masterson: 18 bodies! How could somebody do something like that?
- Phil Grenville: Mary, he was a psychotic killer, and at 6 foot 8, a very *big* psychotic killer.
- Melissa Cavender: [after reading the curse on the scroll] It's just a bunch of words.
- Phil Grenville: Wait a minute, I don't think it is. Didn't anyone listen to my report today?
- Melissa Cavender, Mitch Crandall, Mary Masterson, Vinnie Davis: No.
- Phil Grenville: Well this sounds just like the curse Lucinda let loose on this town exactly 300 years ago tonight, to set free the demons of hell, and to bring back the dead from the grave.
- Judge Crandall: You're a liar!
- Mitch Crandall: I'm *not* a liar!
- Judge Crandall: What's so pitiful about it is you're such a *bad* liar!
- Mitch Crandall: Dad, I'm not lying!
- Judge Crandall: [grabs him] Shut up when you're talking to me.
- [shoves him against the wall]
- Judge Crandall: You listen to me now, you think you can fool your old man, don't you?
- Mitch Crandall: I'm not trying to...
- Judge Crandall: [grabs his collar] Well you won't! You think I've been on the bench for 30 years in this town, I don't recognize liars when I see them? Top notch professional grade A liars! And I get them! I get them!
- Mitch Crandall: You get them, old Judge Crandall.
- Judge Crandall: Wait a minute! Wait a minute here!
- [grabs him]
- Judge Crandall: I have a reputation to uphold in this town, you're the *judge's* son, so why not admit it? You stole that costume from the museum. Don't tell me you didn't, everyone in this town recognizes this witch hunter's getup. Admit it, dammit!
- Mitch Crandall: I admit it.
- Judge Crandall: Oh?
- Mitch Crandall: Yeah, yeah, I took the costume, I'm gonna bring it back tomorrow, nobody's gonna see it. I'm just gonna go to the party, then I'll bring it back.
- Judge Crandall: And if you get caught? You figure if you get caught, I'm gonna let you off?
- Mitch Crandall: Nothing to let us off for, we didn't do nothing.
- Judge Crandall: Breaking and entering, boy!
- Mitch Crandall: Oh come on! Dad, it's not Watergate, we just borrowed a couple clothes, I'm gonna bring them back!
- Judge Crandall: Well I've got news for you son, if you do get caught, I'm *not* gonna let you off. I'm gonna get ya good. I'm gonna get you! I'm gonna get you good!
- Martin Grenville: I love Halloween. If kids ate candy like this all year round, I'd be a millionaire.
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