Robin Williams credited as playing...
Popeye
- Popeye: They've got me Olive Oyl and Swee'Pea.
- Poopdeck Pappy: Olive Oyl? Swee'Pea? What are you doing, making a salad? I want me treasure. Do you hear me? I want me treasure!
- Popeye: [singing] I yam what I yam, and I yam what I yam that I yam / And I got a lotta muscle, and I only gots one eye / And I'll never hurt nobodys, and I'll never tell a lie / Top to me bottom, and me bottom to me top / That's the way it is, 'til the day that I drop / What am I? I yam what I yam.
- Popeye: I'm your one and only exspring. See, we got the same bulgy arms.
- Poopdeck Pappy: No resemblance.
- Popeye: We-we got the same squinky eye.
- Poopdeck Pappy: What squinky eye?
- Popeye: That's going to be hard for you to see. Oh, we even got the same pipe, Pap.
- Poopdeck Pappy: You idiot, you can't inherit a pipe! Ooh, I am poppa to no male, nor no female child. That no court could prove otherwise.
- Popeye: Another thing I got is a sensk of humiligration. Now, maybe you swabs can pool your intelligensk and sees that I'm axking you for an apologeky.
- Popeye: It's me own fault, Swee'Pea's been kidnapped. Olive's was right. Even an orphan needs a mutter and a father. If I was gonna be Swee'Pea's mutter, I should've at least let Olive be his father. Or viska versa. I ain't man enough to his mutter.
- Olive Oyl: Goochy goo.
- Popeye: None of that baby talk around me son. Me son is gonna be a man infink, not a baby infink. Come to poppa, me little Swee'Pea. You're me little Swee'Pea.
- Olive Oyl: Swee'Pea? You're bats.
- Popeye: I found him in Sweethaven, that's why he is me Swee'Pea. I am calling him Swee'Pea and that is his name. Ain't that the truth?
- Olive Oyl: Swee'Pea is the worst name I've ever heard on a baby.
- Popeye: Well what do you wants me to call him? Baby Oyl?
- Popeye: [Comes up to Geezil's grocery stand] Bunch of carrots?
- Geezil: Nah.
- Popeye: Ain't got no carrots?
- [Points to them]
- Popeye: What are those? Prunes?
- Geezil: Phooey on carrots!
- [Picks up can]
- Geezil: Take broccoli!
- Popeye: I'm in the mood for carrots. I need me vitamins.
- Geezil: [Puts down can, then picks up another can] Phooey on carrots! Take spinach!
- Popeye: If I wanted spinach, I'd ask for spinach.
- Geezil: Well, why didn't you say so?
- [Puts down can and picks up the bunch of carrots]
- Geezil: For you, each a dollar.
- Popeye: How much is the broccoli?
- Geezil: Nickel, maybe dime.
- Popeye: And the spinach?
- Geezil: Dime, maybe quarter.
- Popeye: Then how come carrots is a dollar?
- Geezil: Dollar fifty. You buy what I don't feel like selling will cost you two dollars.
- [Takes the carrots and tosses Geezil a nickel]
- Geezil: Ah ah ah! Deadbeat, nope! This is a nickel!
- Popeye: I'm payin' what me feels like payin'.
- [Walks away laughing]
- Popeye: [to a photo of his Pappy] Poppa. Pretty soon, you and me are going to be together again, huh? Yeah. Thirty years ain't that long. Besides, next Wednesday's our annual-versity. Yeah? Yeah. Stay alive. That's all I'm axskin' you. Good night, Poppa.
- Poopdeck Pappy: Eat that spinach.
- Popeye: I don't wanna eat that spinach.
- Poopdeck Pappy: Eat that spinach, you brat!
- Popeye: I don't wanna eat that spinach!
- Poopdeck Pappy: Uuuuuggggghhh!
- Popeye: I don't wanna eat that spinach! I don't wanna! Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!
- Poopdeck Pappy: You eat that spinach!
- Popeye: Waaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!
- Poopdeck Pappy: You disobedient brat!
- Popeye: Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!
- Poopdeck Pappy: You was disobedient when you was two, and you're still disobedient now!
- Popeye: Oh, what am I? Some kind of barnicle on the dinghy of life? Oh, I ain't no doctors, but I knows that I'm losing me patience. What am I? Some kind of judge or lawyers? Maybe not, but I knows what law suitks me.
- [to the prositute]
- Popeye: Careful there, don't ruffle me feathers.
- [to himself again]
- Popeye: What am I? I ain't no physcikisk, but I knows what matters. What am I? I'm Popeye the Sailor.
- Popeye: Bluto. Even though you're bigger than me, you can't win, 'cause you're bad, and the good always wins over the bad.
- Popeye: One thing I remember about me pap was that he always used to throw me up in the air. Yeah, heh heh... but he'd never be there when I come down, you know. Heh heh heh. Boy, he had a sensek'a humor, didn't he? Yeah, that was me pap. I remember the time he gave me a electric eel as a toy. Hah hah hah - eep! Hah, yeah, that was fun. Or, or he'd rock me cradle real, real, real hard and I'd lose me formula. And then he'd say "One day, you'll be a sailor." Heh heh heh, that's... that's what I yam today, yeah. Hm. Yeah. Sometimes he'd bounce me on his knee. Heh heh, most o' the time he'd miss, though, 'cos he couldn't see too well with one eye... heh heh heh, oh, me pap, yeah...
- Poopdeck Pappy: You wouldn't eat your spinach. Spinach what kept our family strong for thousands of years. And what does me only oxspring do with it?
- Popeye, Poopdeck Pappy: He spits it up!
- Poopdeck Pappy: His mother ups and dies, and he wouldn't eat his spinach.
- Popeye: She choked on it, pop.
- Poopdeck Pappy: His poppa out of work, and he wouldn't eat his spinach.
- Popeye: It wasn't my fault.
- Poopdeck Pappy: The whole country in a depressigan. Oooooohhhh, and he wouldn't eat is spinach.
- Popeye: That was Coolidge, Poppa.
- Poopdeck Pappy: His poppa going hungry. Going off to steal. Stealing what?
- Poopdeck Pappy, Popeye: Spinach!
- Poopdeck Pappy: So his ungrate son could grow up big and strong.
- [Popeye throws the spinach behind his back]
- Poopdeck Pappy: You know what I done? You know what I done when the G Man catched me and thrung me in jail?
- Popeye: No.
- Poopdeck Pappy: Hmm? I laughed.
- Popeye: Yeah. You laughed?
- Poopdeck Pappy: I laughed a whole year. Ha ha ha.