Quotes

License to Drive

Dean: Natalie! I was wondering, if you were driving 55 miles per hour and you collided with a runaway train, would it make ANY improvement on your face?

Mr. Anderson: We had a college fund set aside for you! That's gone now! You had free room and board, two trusting parents and a social life. All gone! You had a TV, a stereo, baseball, tennis racket, a skateboard, a bicycle - All gone! you even had sunlight and a window in your room!

Miss Hellberg: Well, Mr. Anderson... We were able to retrieve your test results from the computer. And as I suppose you already know, YOU FAILED. God giveth, and the DMV taketh away. You mustn't fuck with the Department of Motor Vehicle. We can make your life a living hell.

Les: [while chasing the drunk man in the Beatle car] I don't care what you say to the man just get him to pull over.
Charles: The man is a drunken lunatic don't you think this is a little bit dangerous.
Les: Your telling about dangerous, Charles you want to know whats dangerous. Me going home and having to explain to my father that this piece of shit is my Grandfather's Cadillac.

Les' DMV Examiner: Driving instructor: Now Anderson, I want you to take a good look at my cup of coffee. Now, I LOVE my coffee. It's probably the only thing I cherish on this god forsaken mud ball called Earth! What I'm trying to say, Anderson, is that most examiners rely on this clipboard...
[throws the clipboard out the window]
Les' DMV Examiner: I don't believe in that shit. What I do believe is in my cup of coffee. Now this coffee is hot. If it falls on me it'll probably burn me, right? Speak up, son!
Les: Yes, yes!
Les' DMV Examiner: And nobody likes to get burned, now do they?
Les: No, no!
Les' DMV Examiner: So it's simple: You burn me, you fail. You don't, you pass.

Dean: Les, that license in your wallet, that's not an ordinary piece of paper, that is a driver's license, and its not only a driver's license, it's an automobile license, and it's not only an automobile license, it's a license to live, a license to be free, a license to go wherever, whenever and with whomever you choose.

Les: Hey dad, did you take a look at that brochure I gave you?
Mr. Anderson: Yeah.
Les: And what did you think?
Mr. Anderson: A 23,000 dollar BMW for a kid who hasn't had a job in his life... I think it's a great idea!

Les: I'm with her!
Club Doorman: Boy, you wouldn't be with her if she was your Siamese twin. Now get lost.

Les: While taking his license test, Les halts on a hill top, as instructed and the car behind him honks...
Les' DMV Examiner: What are you waiting for son, Christmas?

Les: Les jams the breaks in order to prevent an accident and looks over at the instructor whose coffee cup lands in his crotch...
Les' DMV Examiner: You're in luck son... the cup... was empty...!

Dean: Could you take the car out of neutral? We just got passed by a street sweeper.

Mr. Anderson: Les. Can you tell me what size SHARK is responsible for this. No don't say anything, save it for the judge.

Charles: We're going to be locked up with men who murdered, and raped, and robbed convenience stores.

School Teacher: Mr. Anderson... It's punks like you that paramedics end up scraping off the road at four in the morning. For your sake, and the safety of others, I hope you fail your driving exam.

Tow Truck Driver: [while Les is on the hood of the truck] Son I driven with deer, elk, and even bears strapped to the hood of this truck. So no 65 pound sack of shit is gonna shake me a hell a differnce.
Les: Listen mister I'll give you everything I got.
Tow Truck Driver: [driver stops and Les goes flying off the hood] Just how much you talking.

Les: Crazy? You want to talk about crazy? Crazy is ME going home, and trying to explain to my grandfather that this piece of shit is his car!

Miss Hellberg: Wait a minute. Stand back children, don't crowd me, I'm a living time bomb!

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