- Carrie aka Fontaine: What would I do with your balls, were they mine? Would I hang them by their shorthairs from my long painted nails? And crack a grin as they dropped, splat splat, on the floor? No, I wouldn't do that with your balls, were they mine. But I'd put them instead in some sort of shrine. I'd fondle them daily, and keep them in line, and give them a licking from time to time. Yes, that's what I'd do with your balls, were they mine.
- Mike Lafebb: Man, I never met anybody who did crime for a living. I mean I had a cousin once who held up a gas station on his bicycle, but he was nuts.
- Ernie Mullins: Runs in the family, huh?
- Mike Lafebb: Hey, you with some kind of organization?
- Ernie Mullins: Yeah, uh, Northwest Homeowners Association.
- Ernie Mullins: [while robbing the safe] Hey, where'd you get that apple?
- Mike Lafebb: Out there.
- Ernie Mullins: Next time you want an apple, you buy it!
- Mike Lafebb: So, you're an actress?
- Carrie aka Fontaine: Well, I'm an actress and a model.
- Mike Lafebb: Yeah? Done any movies?
- Carrie aka Fontaine: I'm not at the performance level just yet. I'm still developing my instrument.
- Mike Lafebb: Oh, so you're a musician too, huh?
- Ernie Mullins: [doing knee bends] The knees are the second thing to go.
- Mike Lafebb: What's the first?
- Ernie Mullins: I can't remember.
- Young Woman Apostle: Do you have a family?
- Mike Lafebb: No, not really. Just a mother, and a father, and a sister.
- Sam the Apostle: [wheeling in bogus machine] It's gonna be about 15 minutes. After we leave, that's when the roaches die.
- Ernie Mullins: We don't have any roaches.
- Sam the Apostle: See, we were here about 2 years ago.
- [Ernie Mullins notices that the two kids are on the skates]
- Ernie Mullins: Hey. What are you kids doing here? The rink is closed.
- Teenage Boy on Skates: We've got locked in.
- Ernie Mullins: Sure you did. There's a fire going over there by the lockers and those are on their way out... Vamoose.
- Teenage Boy on Skates: What?
- Ernie Mullins: [yells] Get out!