- Brian Kelly: I don't know what's worse: getting blown up in nuclear war or having a 7-11 on every corner.
- Brian Kelly: Do you know what a farm vet does? He helps cows get well so they can live long enough to be turned into Quarter Pounders. It's ridiculous!
- Mr. Kelly: [after picking up Brian at the police station] Brian, the skateboard stays in the garage.
- Brian Kelly: Heh! What you worried about? It's not gonna shit on the rug!
- [Brian comes to school with a new, clean-cut look]
- Yabbo: Brian, Halloween's not 'til October.
- Brian Kelly: So?
- Yabbo: So? Where's your board?
- Brian Kelly: I felt like walking today!
- Yabbo: Why are you wearing those clothes?
- Gremic: Oh, I know, his clothes are in the cleaners.
- Buddy: I bet his mom put him up to it.
- Vinh Kelly: Maybe you and your friends were right.
- Brian Kelly: We are?
- Vinh Kelly: You don't trust adults at all, do you?
- Brian Kelly: Here's what I think. Adults are predictable.
- Vinh Kelly: Don't count on it.
- Brian Kelly: Yeah, they're living under this illusion that life as we know it is going to continue forever so they expect you to behave as if what you do today is going to have an effect on where you'll be in thirty years. I mean, it's ridiculous to think it's going to be anything in thirty years, you know? I don't know what's worse, being blown up in nuclear war or having a 7-eleven on every corner.
- Harvey McGill: Why was he following you?
- Brian Kelly: I dunno. He was just following me. Maybe he was a pervert.
- Al Lucero: Oh right, you jumped into the back of a pervert's car? What are you? Playing hard to get?
- Brian Kelly: You know, if my dog had a face like yours, I'd shave his ass and teach him to walk backwards!