Kristine Sutherland: Mae Thompson

Honey, I Shrunk the Kids

Mae Thompson

Mae Thompson: [Russ nurses a head wound] You got it, honey.
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: Sure?
Mae Thompson: Positive. You're wiping away brain cells and there aren't many to spare.
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: Everybody in my family is a comedian.
Mae Thompson: Everybody except you.

[after his talk with Don]
Mae Thompson: Did you tell him the truth?
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: [smiles knowingly] Honey...
Mae Thompson: Did they take it okay?
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: Mae...
[Don honks the horn in 'goodbye' and drives off]
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: [furiously] 80 bucks, Mae! NON-refundable! Those kids are GROUNDED!

[Wayne shows the Thompsons the shrunken furniture]
Mae Thompson: Why didn't you tell us earlier?
Diane Szalinski: Well, up until now, the machine just... blew things up.
Mae Thompson: Are you saying that that machine...?
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: Blew up my kids?
Diane Szalinski, Wayne Szalinski: No, no!
Wayne Szalinski: No, if the machine had blown up the kids, there'd be pieces of them everywhere...
Diane Szalinski: Wayne!
Wayne Szalinski: Sorry, but I'm positive about this. The machine shrunk our kids.
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: You're the one who needs a shrink, Szalinski. You are a nut case. And I'll tell you something: I have got an air hammer in my attic, and if you did do something to my kids, there's gonna be pieces of you *all over the NEIGHBORHOOD*! Come on, Mae!
[he storms out of the house, dragging Mae after him]
Wayne Szalinski: I think that went well.
Diane Szalinski: I think we should have them over more often.

Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: What do you take me for? A complete idiot?
[Wayne and Diane look at each other]
Mae Thompson: How did this happen?
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: Hang on, Mae. I'll handle this. How did this happen?
Wayne Szalinski: Well, the machine analyzes an object's molecular structure; then through laser inversion, it takes all the...
Diane Szalinski: Wayne... I think the Thompsons need to see the couch.

[Wayne and Diane are still searching for the kids until Diane hears and sees Big Russ and Mae in the kitchen arguing]
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: [about Little Russ] I didn't force him to join the team.
Mae Thompson: I know, but you always make a big deal out of sports.
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: Because sports build character.
Mae Thompson: No, they don't! They build muscle. Russell, you've got to understand, these kids aren't you. They have their whole lives...
Diane Szalinski: Wayne?
Wayne Szalinski: Yeah?
Diane Szalinski: [lowly] We've got to tell the Thompsons.