The Jitters

Chinese vampires that hop around like bunnies who can only be killed by placing a piece of tape on their face chase around a bunch of people with really bad haircuts. Yes, it's as bad as it sounds. There's even some pretty awful kung-fu scenes, not to mention really bad dialogue ("What's that thing over there? Let's kill it!"). Acting is awful and the "terrifying effects" advertised on the box consists of some really really really bad makeup work. If you ever find it in the far far corner of your video store (which is highly unlikely), rent it if you like laughing at awful movies. And believe me, this one is awful...

1/10

My review was written in June 1989 after watching the movie on Prism video cassette.

This mixed-up attempt at a live-action comic strip heads to video stores with no warning on how fans are to react to an overly goofy fantasy effort.

With Japanese funding, American production and Toronto Chinatown setting, John Fasano's film is a mishmash to start with. He doesn't help things out by overlaying a noisy musical score and sound effects track that either drowns out or distract from the dialog exchanges.

Wacky premise concerns the Chinese undead known as Gyonsii, a group of vampire-like beings trapped in limbo on Earth (between heaven and hell). Heroine Marilyn Yokuda's toy store-owner dad (Handy Atmadja) joins the zombie ranks when he's murdered by sneak thieves, the leader wearing a Batman t-shirt (in timely fashion).

Yokuda and her Caucasian boyfriend Sal Viviano team up with a pair of young magicians to sort out the undead and avenge daddy's death. Gimmick of the vampires hopping along lets the viewer know quickly it's all tongue in cheek. A silly scene of a zombie suddenly turning into a reptilian monster is inserted as an excuse for the makeup effects crew to trot out pulsating bladders and dribbling goo.

Performances are hard to judge thanks to the soundtrack overlay. Best thing in the pic is a fancy cartoon opening credits sequence; end credits are unreeled slowly to pad the abbreviated running time.

Well, I bought this little film on second-hand VHS at some second-hand store some time back, and I must say that I quite enjoyed it -- it even features a character quoting a line from GhostBusters; "I'm terrified beyond rational thought" or something (I forget the exact phrase). I thought the comedy moments were mostly done well, the music was enjoyable also, and the creature effects towards the end were impressive considering that this film must have had a pretty low budget. A cut above the average zero-budget flick, worth picking up if you happen to find yourself in a second-hand store and come across it for a reasonable price. All in all, absolutely watchable and enjoyable.

The 'hopping vampire' genre is uniquely Chinese, so this Canadian/Japanese co-production feels altogether wrong. Set in Chinatown (New York?), the film sees a vicious street gang causing trouble for Frank Lee, the elderly owner of a really crap looking gift store. Somehow, the old man has amassed a small fortune and the gang wants to get their hands on it.

When Frank is killed by the thugs, his daughter Alice (Marilyn Tokuda) vows to keep the shop open with the help of her boyfriend Michael (Sal Viviano); however, matters take an unexpected turn when Frank returns from the dead as a 'Jiangshi' (hopping vampire)...

My god, I thought some of the Hong Kong hopping vampire films I had seen were bad, but this one really scrapes the barrel. The acting is atrocious and the action is pathetic. At least the genuine articles have a degree of charm about them - this one is bad in almost every way, the one redeeming feature being a special make up effects sequence that deserves to be in a better movie. The plot is extremely slim and the whole thing is wrapped up with a terrible showdown in an alleyway that is so dark that it's hard to see what is happening (not that I could really give a damn - I was just happy that the end of the film was in sight!).

The Jitters (1989) is a truly awful movie, there are no redeeming features whatsoever, some films are so bad they are good, or at least funny, but this film is just BAD!!!! I love horror movies, low budget is fine by me, but come on they have to be entertaining and ooze class, this film sucks in every respect, boring, with dull characters, awful acting, no suspense, no laughs, no nothing, it's as simple as that!!! A film about jumping/hopping Chinese vampires, you can freeze them by sticking paper to their foreheads, yes thats right, good huh!!!! I heard that the director of this actually made quite a fun horror movie called "Black Roses", well anything will be better than this rubbish but i don't think i want to see anymore of his work, it could be painful. 2/10 for the jitters and i'm being kind!!!!