Teen Witch

I thought the rap battle was the highlight of the film. The movie and characters treat the horrible white rappers so seriously that I just bust out laughing. This is not a quality film, but it is a fun film to ridicule, if you enjoy that sort of thing.

Teen Witch (1989) was one of those "white elephant" movies that I always found perversely entertaining. I'm like a moth drawn to an open flame whenever this movie is on T.V. I don't know why I like movies like these, but for some strange reason I do. The movie is an exercise in bad acting, gaudy clothes and inane situations. Personally I wouldn't have a movie like this in my collection but whenever it's on I'm there.

A teenage girl (Robin Lively) is about to have her sweet sixteen birthday. One day whilst having bad luck in general, she comes across a palm reader's abode. Seeking calm from the approaching storm she seeks refuge inside. The palm reader is a diminutive woman who reluctantly read the young lady's palm. She's learns from her reading that she's a descendant in the long line of witches just like herself. After learning that she'll be a witch with great powers after her 16th birthday, the woman takes her under her wing. Can she master her powers and make her dreams come true?

Overall the movie isn't all that great. In fact you'll feel kind of silly watching this teenage tripe. The movie has no real message and the supernatural angle is quite lame. When I saw this the first time I hoped something bad would happen to Robin Lively, but it never came to fruition. Oh well, if you really dig 80's movies, this one's for you. Others need not to apply.

Fair.

This movie has no redeeming values. It could possibly be one of the worst movies of all time. Worst acting, worst script, and oh my god, an embarrassment on all the actors resume. At the same time it's freaking irresistible. You have to surrender to the crap fest that this movie is, and then you end up loving it for all it's horriblines... of course the musical numbers are awful, and while watching, I actually feel embarrassed for them... but then I laugh, and then I make fun, ohhh, and what a glorious time you can have watching this awful piece of...

Louise Miller (Robyn Lively) is not very popular at her high school. Then she learns that she is descended from the witches of Salem and has inherited their powers.

First, what is up with that little brother (Joshua John Miller)? He is a terrifying mutant and it is hard to tell exactly what he is going for with those faces and voices. Oh my. And then there is the Rob Lowe joke, which is even funnier now (2015) than it was then (1989), given Lowe's departure from fame and triumphant return.

Somehow, despite losing millions of dollars at the box office, this has gone on to be a cult classic (allegedly) and there is a musical adaptation. Who is in this cult? But the musical makes sense, as there are a number of song and dance numbers that could be easily adapted. The film is not completely horrible, just somehow a bit off.

I can't help it--I love this movie. It's so adorably cliché and predictable that I get a kick out of it every time that I see it. The soundtrack is great 80's pop, and the songs keep playing in my head long after the movie's over. What teen girl hasn't wished she could "magically" put the "snobby cheerleader" in her place and walk away with the popular guy? Louise gets that chance when she inherits her powers on her 16th birthday and uses them to make herself "the most popular girl." Yes, it's a bit silly in spots, but it has fun dance numbers and great 80's hairstyles and clothes. If you love the 80's, you will enjoy this movie!