Ron Fazio credited as playing...
The Toxic Avenger • Apocalypse, Inc. Executive
- The Toxic Avenger: These chemicals have taken over my life! I don't have a life! I have a half-life!
- The Chairman: All these things I will give you, if you will work for me. All these things I will give you, if you bow down and worship me!
- The Toxic Avenger: Wait, you said "worship me." Not "work for me." Where have I heard that before?
- [Flashback to the church]
- Father O'Reilly: And the devil said to Jesus, "all these things I will give you, if you bown down and worship me."
- The Toxic Avenger: Oh man, toxic shock.
- The Chairman: No, not toxic shock just your imagination set free! Look at it, a perfect world with a Porsche in every drive way, Chicken McNuggets in every pot, and you, you Melvin, smack dab in the middle of it. Loved by millions the world over, you'll be more popular than The Beatles and Elvis combined!
- The Toxic Avenger: Gee, that's a lot for minimum wage!
- The Toxic Avenger: It's an old sumo trick. They use it whenever they're on a runaway school bus that plunges into deadly, murky, muddy water.
- [the scene is a red room filled with fire and ash]
- Apocalypse Inc. Chairman: Good, we'll see you on Monday. Oh, and Melvin?
- The Toxic Avenger: Yes, Mr. Chairman?
- Apocalypse Inc. Chairman: Get rid of that mop.
- [looks around room]
- Apocalypse Inc. Chairman: It looks like hell!
- The Chairman: Mr. Junko, we need someone charming, smart looking, good with people, to be the spokesman for our company and to help spread the good news of our policies.
- Toxic Avenger: Just what are your policies?
- The Chairman: Our policies, Mr Junko? Giving! That's our policy! Giving to the people what they want, giving to the people what they need. It's what I've always done best. But I know you're asking yourself, how? It's good sounding but how? By building. By growing. By taking towns like Tromaville and revitalising them into industrial metropolisises.
- The Toxic Avenger: [after ripping a video store robber's intestines out] You know, you don't have any intestinal fortitude.