I'm Dangerous Tonight

This is an unanticipatedly imaginative TV terror movie revision of Cinderella, all the more effective for being guided by the same directorial hand that gave us the unrelenting physical horrors of 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre' and 'Eaten Alive' in his 70s heyday.

Amick (of Twin Peaks domestic violence 'Shelley' fame), in a standout performance is the lowly collegiate struggling to juggle her studies with the demands of caring for both her home and her decrepit grandmother, whilst her Aunt and cousin live it up night after night. Cue a reversal of fortune when she lands the job of props mistress in a production of 'Romeo and Juliet' and falls under the spell of a sensuous red cloth which, as spooky professor Perkins points out, is an original Aztec witchcraft cloak; and which she transforms into a dress, with murderous results.

Clearly a waste of time for the underwritten Perkins and sad to see such a talented and perennially underused actor ill and jaded in a career on the wane, although far worse was yet to come (ie 'In The Deep Woods'). The film is also bereft of the sort of shock value that one would need to swallow the tall tale being presented at face value. Still, it does sort of work on a surprisingly engrossing level of creepy subtleness, and this is aided by a slinky visual quality and the billowing symbolism of the red dress; captured on film stock in what must have been one of the very last TV movies to be shot this way.

Long have I been an Anthony Perkins fan, so I looked forward to seeing this movie when it came on the television in a recent horror-thon. I was left disappointed with his role, but intrigued by the writing and cinematography of the rest.

Horror is typically a slice 'em and dice 'em film fest where the viewer doesn't care who lives and who dies as long as the movie ends. "I'm Dangerous Tonight" supplied little in the way of well-known talent, but show-cased some unknown actors that did fairly well despite small, insignificant roles.

Dee Wallace Stone had great on-screen charisma in this movie as a woman possessed, proving once again that she is truly the queen of the low-grade horror films. Peter Brooks was mismatched in his role as self-centered football legend; he would have made a better Joker-wannabe in some "Batman" remake. Mädchen Amick, who lost a lot of brownie points when she broke into soft erotica a few years ago, is both innocent and refreshing in her role as Amy, and plays well off of her on-screen love Corey Parker, despite a script which is noticeably weak and shaky.

The flaws with this movie remain mostly in the lack of real characterization, and cheap theatrics. A horror movie is supposed to be either so real it scares you to death, or so cheesy you can barely stop laughing. "I'm Dangerous Tonight" manages to fall short in both categories, merely leaving you scratching your head and going, "Huh?" The script bandies around some heavy terms, but doesn't bother to explain them properly, and it's easy to leave the viewers scrambling for a dictionary to figure out what is going on.

All in all, the movie rates a 7 on a scale of "good movie VS. bad movie", but only 3 on the scale of "good horror VS. bad horror". Tobe Hooper has directed a number of excellent horrific films and shorts throughout the years, but "I'm Dangerous Tonight" (as well as the 1993 TV horror "Body Bags") is definitely not one of his better endeavors.

"I'm Dangerous Tonight" disappoints mainly in the plot department. Once you've realized the basic concept, the script looks one-note and unsurprising. But, judged by TV-movie standards, this thriller is surprisingly violent and sexually charged. Director Hooper brings some peculiar, kinky undertones to the material, playing with the role-reversal of the concept; there is a definite link between erotic tension and violence here.

As you may have guessed, Perkins doesn't play the villain here. He is pretty much wasted in a small supporting role, but he manages to give a classy performance. Amick is the lead here, and she's striking.

Disappointing, but entertaining adaption about a cursed red cloak that turns whoever is wearing it into a blood thirsty killer. A young woman who gets the cloak from her aunt turns it into a dress and of course goes on a killing spree. Made for USA television and then given a video release afterwards, this film features a pretty solid cast and some effective jolt scenes. Rated R.

Known mainly for "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and "Poltergeist", Tobe Hooper also directed this TV movie about an Aztec cloak that brings out the wearer's evil side. Kinda far-fetched, but it's pretty entertaining.

However, there is something REALLY surprising about "I'm Dangerous Tonight". It co-stars Anthony Perkins (aka Norman Bates in "Psycho"), Natalie Schafer (aka Lovey Howell on "Gilligan's Island"), R. Lee Ermey (aka Sgt. Hartman in "Full Metal Jacket") and Dee Wallace-Stone (aka the mom in "E.T."). Yes, this absurd horror flick has a man who worked with Alfred Hitchcock, a man who worked with Stanley Kubrick, and a woman who worked with Steven Spielberg. As for the other co-star, Mrs. Howell plays the infirm grandmother, and looks how Norman Bates's mother must've looked...while co-starring WITH Norman Bates (along with Sgt. Hartman and E.T.'s mom)! Double brain freeze!

Anyway, the rest of the movie didn't really catch my attention. Mädchen Amick and Corey Parker are OK, but the mind-blowing supporting cast was what really caught my eye. My possible final statements are:

*So yes, a boy's best friend IS his mother.

*In conclusion, this ain't no three-hour tour!

*So yes, what IS your major malfunction?

*In conclusion, E.T. ain't phoning home!