Ilan Mitchell-Smith: Wyatt

Weird Science

Wyatt

Lisa: [56:25] You had to be big shots didn't you. You had to show off. When are you gonna learn that people will like you for who you are, not for what you can give them. Well, in your race for power and glory, you forgot one small detail.
Wyatt: We forgot to hook up the doll.
Lisa: You forgot to hook up the doll.

[Gary is chanting incoherently. Wyatt seemed very confused by his best friend's odd behaviour. They are both wearing bras on their heads]
Wyatt: Gary?... By the way, why are we wearing bras on our heads?
Gary Wallace: [hesitates] Ceremonial.

Susan, Perfume Salesgirl: [31:15] You guys looking for something for your mom?
[Gary and Wyatt exchanged an amused look]
Gary Wallace: I really don't think so...
[reads her nametag]
Gary Wallace: Sue.
Susan, Perfume Salesgirl: [astonished] You guys have... girlfriends?
Gary Wallace: You know, I really wouldn't refer to a 23-year-old woman as a girlfriend... more of a lover...
Gary Wallace, Wyatt: Lover... mistress.
Wyatt: Sexpot.
Gary Wallace: Sexpot is what she is.
Susan, Perfume Salesgirl: You guys are the ones who got beat up at the homecoming game... right?

Wyatt: A missile! A MISSILE! A MISSILE IN MY HOUSE, GARY!
Max: [Banging on it] Yup, this puppy's for real all right.
Gary Wallace: It was an accident. You know it happens.
Wyatt: ACCIDENT MY ASS, GARY! MY PARENTS ARE COMING HOME. CHET'S COMING HOME. THEY'RE GONNA FREAK OUT!
Gary Wallace: They're gonna shit egg rolls.

Chet: [30:08] Like your panties!
Wyatt: It's a joke, Chet!
Chet: That's not a joke, that's a severe behavioral disorder. I mean, the next thing you know, you'll be wearing a bra on your head!

[the woman that Gary and Wyatt created is looking for a name]
Gary Wallace: [15:35] How about Lisa?
Lisa: Why Lisa?
Gary Wallace: Why not?
Wyatt: He used to like a girl named Lisa.
Lisa: [smiles] Oh yeah? Old girlfriend?
Wyatt: She kicked him in the nuts.
Gary Wallace: [annoyed] Will you shut the hell up?
Wyatt: [sympathetically] Look Gary, it wasn't your fault. All you said was hello to her.
Gary Wallace: [annoyed] Look Wyatt, shut up!
[Wyatt puts up his hands defensively, indicating that he will shut up. He looks slightly hurt by Gary's treatment of him as he was only trying to help]

Gary Wallace: How's your stomach?
Wyatt: It's a little better.
Gary Wallace: [starts pacing] If you're going to float an air biscuit, let me know, okay?
Wyatt: [confused] Float a what?
Gary Wallace: [slightly annoyed] If you're gonna fart, if you're gonna squeeze cheese, let me know, okay? I'll hit the fan!
Wyatt: I'm sorry, Gary, it's just I suffer from pain and discomfort due to occasional stomach upset.

Wyatt: [referring to Lisa] Do you think she'll understand?
[Gary puts his arm around Wyatt's shoulders]
Gary Wallace: I'm sure she will. I mean, I sure as hell wouldn't wanna date you.
[Wyatt grins]
Gary Wallace: You're not my type, you know.

Gary Wallace: That's not a bad idea.
Wyatt: What?
Gary Wallace: Making a girl. Actually making a girl. Like Frankenstein... except cuter.
Wyatt: [stands up] You're serious?
Gary Wallace: Yes.
[Gary grabs Wyatt by the collar and pulls him towards him]
Gary Wallace: Look me in the eye. Do I look serious?
Wyatt: Gary Wallace, that's-that's gross! That's sick! I am not digging up dead girls!
Gary Wallace: [Gary puts his hand over Wyatt's mouth and sits him down on the bed] No, I'm not talking about digging up a dead girl, Wyatt. I'm talking about your system, idiot, your computer!

[Gary and Wyatt are about to go out with Lisa and they both are wearing dorky suits and hairstyles]
Wyatt: What are we going to do with her?
Gary Wallace: Look, we'll just go with the situation okay? And I'm sure by Sunday you'll think of something. You're a very bright guy. I have a lot of faith in you okay?
Wyatt: I'm just being practical.
Gary Wallace: I know you are and I apperciate it.
Wyatt: But what are we going to do about this mess?
Gary Wallace: Wyatt you have plenty of time to clean up tommorrow okay?
Wyatt: Ok but don't get any B.O. on Chet's suit, or he'd kill me.
[they walk out of the room and all of a sudden they are wearing nice suits]
Wyatt: Where are we going anyway?
Gary Wallace: I don't know she said we're going downtown and OH MY GOD! Whose stuff is this? Is this yours?
Wyatt: Oh shit!
Gary Wallace: What's going on here?
Wyatt: I don't know.
Gary Wallace: Wyatt, what's going on here?
Wyatt: GARY I DON'T KNOW! But you look good though all right?
Gary Wallace: Yeah?
Wyatt: Yeah.

[Wyatt is driving himself, Gary and Lisa back to his home. Gary is very drunk]
Gary Wallace: Gimme de keys! Gimme de keys!
Wyatt: [to Lisa; concerned] Is he going to be okay?

Wyatt: Gary, you're just as uptight as I am, all right?
Gary Wallace: Nobody could be as uptight as you! Nobody! Your middle name is tense. Wyatt "Tense Up" Donnelly.
Wyatt: All right, this is true, this is true.
Gary Wallace: It's true.
Wyatt: But it's not so bad. We can hear the music.
Gary Wallace: [sarcastically] We can hear the music, that's great. Maybe if we put our noses to the door, we can smell the food!

Wyatt: You know Gary, for the first time in my life; I don't feel like a total dick.

Chet: [22:28] You're stewed, butt wad!
Wyatt: [looks around; nervously] Me?
Chet: Do you know what time it is?
Wyatt: [guessing] Two?
Chet: Time to play the fiddler.
Wyatt: I was kind-of counting on you to be human about this...
Chet: Here's the bottom line, Wyatt. I'm telling mom and dad everything. I'm even considering making up some shit
Wyatt: All right Chet, name your price
Chet: $175 and zero cents cash new bills crisp and clean. In my wallet by 7AM.
Wyatt: Thank you
Chet: Hey, what are big brothers for?

Wyatt: Gary, where the hell do you get that thing?
Gary Wallace: It's a squirt gun, man.
[Suddenly, there's a loud bang and a chandelier crashes to the ground. Both Gary and Wyatt look terrified]