Necropolis

"Necropolis" is passable entertainment as far as this kind of low, low budget cheese ball horror goes. It stars LeeAnne Baker as Eva, a witch in 17th century New Amsterdam who lives on through the ages. In the 20th century, she's reincarnated as a leather wearing, motorcycle riding punk babe in a miniskirt. Here she goes about her business of sucking the life out of various chump victims, or otherwise using her power of suggestion to get them to off themselves. Her other order of business is finding some all powerful Satanic ring which further helps her to extend her life span.

Pretty much everything about this agreeably stupid movie is inane, from the dialogue to the characters to the nonsensical "story", concocted by director Bruce Hickey. Of course, you just *know* this one is going to stink to high heaven, seeing that also listed in the credits is Tim Kincaid ("Breeders", "Riot on 42nd Street") as a producer. Ed French supplies the special makeup effects, and as usual his work is about as good as it could have been given whatever minimal budget he must have had. He should take a bow for the one unqualified highlight that "Necropolis" can boast. I won't reveal much, but let's just say that it involves several breasts and several thirsty ghouls.

The performances are every bit as lame as one can expect. Baker is sexy, no doubt about that, but she's pretty dull as an antagonist. Michael Conte is the cop investigating the trail of bodies that she leaves behind, Jacquie Fitz is the reporter whom Conte romances, and William K. Reed is the knowledgeable reverend who looks after troubled youth.

If the prospective viewer is looking for something that they can jeer at with friends, "Necropolis" should fit the bill.

By the way, if you think the score sounds familiar at times, that's because "Necropolis" uses music from the movies "Eliminators", "Trancers", and "The Alchemist".

Five out of 10.

Yes, we know it's a bad movie. It's a film called Necropolis that doesn't focus on a graveyard!

However, how many films have a six-breasted witch wet-nursing zombies with ectoplasm? This mid-range b-movie clunker's good for providing a mild chuckle or two, particularly for the "satanic" interpretive dance numbers.

This is nowhere near as painful as TROLL 2 or MANOS, not that that should be a recommendation. Once upon a time, people - read teenagers - used to rent low-grade horror for the t&a and softcore sex.

As cheese it's quite piquant, but I wouldn't call it the stinkiest of cheese, we're talking mediocre awful at best. For film masochists like myself, it's just barely a diversion that you'll probably forget most of after the second beer.

New Amsterdam, 1686: evil witch Eva (LeeAnne Baker) interrupts the marriage of Dawn (Jacquie Fitz) and William (Michael Conte), psychically summoning the virgin bride to a Satanic altar to be sacrificed in a ritual that would grant Eva eternal life. Dawn's throat is cut, but before the ceremony can be completed, Eva is killed by priest Henry (William K. Reed).

300 years later, and Eva, reincarnated as a peroxide-blonde punk biker chick with bad make-up, proceeds to suck the life energy from unfortunate New Yorkers to feed to her mouldy zombie acolytes (via her three sets of ectoplasm-oozing tits!); once fully revived, these manky minions seek out the reincarnation of Dawn, so that the witch can finish what she has started. Can Italian cop Billy and do-gooder Rev. James, the 20th century reincarnations of William and Henry, prevent her from succeeding?

Six breasts are better than two, as the old saying goes, but even with its triple-chested, zombie-suckling witch bitch, Necropolis proves to be a frustratingly dull slice of 80s schlock horror, with a dreadful script and uninspired direction from Bruce Hickey, and dire performances all round. There are, of course, a few giggles to be had from the sheer ineptitude of proceedings—Baker's embarrassingly bad impromptu interpretive dance routines are good for a laugh, as is the bloody decapitation of a zombie that continues to scream long after his noggin has gone—but when you're not sniggering, you'll probably be yawning.

3.5 out of 10, generously rounded up to four for IMDb.

Necropolis (1986) is a movie I recently watched on Tubi. The storyline follows a witch from the 1600s that has been resurrected into a present day tall, gorgeous, sensual blond. She lures people into dark dingy corners, sucks the lifeforce out of them 😉, allowing the souls of her cult members from the past to return in her victims bodies. Can anyone resist her temptations?

This movie is directed by Bruce Hickey (The Hot Mess) and stars LeeAnne Baker (Breeders), Michael Conte (Panama Red), Adriane Lee (Mutant Hunt), Nadine Hartstein (Robot Holocaust) and Christina Sisinni (Mutant Hunt).

The storyline for this had a lot of potential but unfortunately was executed poorly. I will say the opening dance sequence was solid and there was plenty of nudity throughout the film; but the acting was bad, the cinematography was mediocre, the script was terrible and the horror elements were lacking. There's really no gore in this. There were some fun cult meetings and elements.

Overall this film has little going for it and is only worth seeing for the main character. I would score this a 3.5/10 and recommend skipping it.

This movie is about a witch that comes back 300 years later and dominates people by using mind control ideas into making people commit murder and suicide. This movie is awful, cheezy dance moves that aren't even fit for the oldest disco club in the world, cheap makeup that makes even the 80's version of Barbie look more attractive and fake rubber looking boobs. Need I say more, this movie is just plain terrible.