- Shazza Zulu: Look, if we as Hillman men don't treat our women right, they'll go to somebody white. Kim Reese did!
- Kim Reese: You pseudo-intellectual male with a pseudo-African name spouting pseudo-philosophy about a whole bunch of nothing! In fact, the only thing about you that's real are your green eyes... MY BRUTHA!
- Julian Day: [Whitley and Julian are breaking up in an Italian restaurant] Waiter, check please.
- Whitley Marion Gilbert Wayne: Yes, la cuenta and *fast*!
- Julian Day: It's "il conto".
- Whitley Marion Gilbert Wayne: Oh, cuenta, conto, Kunta Kinte, just get the ding-dang check!
- Whitley Marion Gilbert Wayne: [after sleeping with Dwayne the night before] Last night didn't mean anything. As far as Dwayne is concerned, that ship has sailed and sunk.
- Kim Reese: Not if you can't tell Bryon about it.
- Whitley Marion Gilbert Wayne: Why? We're not even an official couple yet.
- Kim Reese: Whitley, if you can't tell him, maybe last night meant more than you think.
- Whitley Marion Gilbert Wayne: Such pearls of wisdom from one who pines over that swine Ron Johnson.
- Kim Reese: Well, at least I've got it numbered down to one.
- Whitley Marion Gilbert Wayne: But has he?
- [the class has decided to leave a time capsule to be remembered by]
- African Student: Excuse me, please, but what is a time capsule?
- Kim Reese: A time capsule is when people bury something that's important to them and then dig them up later.
- Ron Johnson: Like dogs with bones.
- [pause]
- Ron Johnson: Or women with grudges.
- [Ron and Dwayne are dressed as women to hide from cocaine dealers that are chasing them]
- Ron Johnson: You look ridiculous.
- Dwayne Cleophus Wayne: Well, nobody's gonna mistake you for Miss America.
- Ron Johnson: I'm talking about you lipstick it clashes with your blouse.
- Gina Devereaux: It's not what you think, Whitley. Dion is the sweetest, most romantic guy I've ever gone out with.
- Whitley Marion Gilbert Wayne: So I've heard. He's just nervous about the concert.
- Gina Devereaux: Well, you know how I am - I'm so self-centered and I'm always running off at the mouth, and you know how I flirt.
- Whitley Marion Gilbert Wayne: There's no excuse for what he did to you, Gina. You're much smarter than this.
- Gina Devereaux: But he loves me... and I don't want to break up with him.
- [Sniffs]
- Gina Devereaux: I just want him to stop.
- Whitley Marion Gilbert Wayne: Throwing jabs? You're making a big mistake, Gina, if you think you can change that boy.
- Gina Devereaux: Well, I mean, I can try, can't I? Isn't love about sacrifices? I mean, maybe I am being stupid, but I don't even care anymore.
- Whitley Marion Gilbert Wayne: I think you do, Gina. I think you do care. I think you're embarrassed about that black eye. Believe me, I know about sacrifices. But I'd rather sacrifice my relationship than my body... or my spirit.
- Gina Devereaux: Well... that's easy for you to say. You always got somebody.
- Whitley Marion Gilbert Wayne: That's right. And her name is Whitley. Gina, do you really think you need a man that doesn't respect you?
- [Removes Gina's glasses and holds her chin upwards, so that she is facing Whitley directly]
- Gina Devereaux: [as tears stream down her face] I better not miss his call.
- [Rushes out of the room]
- Whitley Marion Gilbert Wayne: [after noticing Freddie's face was painted] Sorry Homey, Whitley don't play that!
- Whitley Marion Gilbert Wayne: [after being sexually harassed by her employee] It's so nice to know women have a place in business. Too bad it's horizontal.
- [after returning from the Island Police station dressed as women because they're hiding from drug dealers]
- Ron Johnson: You got my butt pinched by some dock worker.
- Dwayne Cleophus Wayne: A butt pinch hurts a lot less then a bullet wound.
- Ron Johnson: [snatching off his wig and slamming it angryly on the couch] At least a bullet is something you can take like a man.
- Winifred 'Freddie' Brooks: Ron, you are looking at a woman on a mission.
- Ron Johnson: You're looking at a man on a mission. I have to go talk to Kim.
- Winifred 'Freddie' Brooks: Um, wait. I want us to get past our petty differences. There is something that I would like to share with you, brother, and it's from right here, the ol' ticker. My heart.
- Ron Johnson: Oh. Okay.
- Winifred 'Freddie' Brooks: I don't like you, Ron. I never have. You're a greasy worm with the charm of a cockroach. Whoo!
- [Starts moving around and shaking]
- Winifred 'Freddie' Brooks: Ah, giving birth, giving birth!
- [Places her palms on her forehead]
- Winifred 'Freddie' Brooks: Oh, man! Telling the truth is so freeing and it's so forgiving because I forgive myself for not telling you this years ago.
- [Whitley's bridesmaids scream as they enter her bedroom on her wedding day morning]
- Marion Gilbert: Ladies, ladies please. Your loud screaming will give me a headache which will cause me to frown and lead me to an early face lift.
- Kim Reese: [crying after Claire Huxstable asks about her career goals] Everybody expects me to be good I'm not good. What if I mess up on a patient? I can't even chop zuchini.