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Morgan Fairchild, Billy Dee Williams, John Beck, Joe Spinell, and Vanity in Deadly Illusion (1987)

Quotes

Deadly Illusion

Edit
  • Hamberger: Spread your legs, baby!
  • Hamberger: Everybody's kicking my ass today.
  • Jane Mallory: So tell, how were you planning to do it? With your big strong hands? Or, do you have a large, blunt instrument on you?
  • Hamberger: I like to improvise.
  • Jane Mallory: Oh, good! So do I.
  • [kiss]
  • Second Clerk: Why does everybody have to use such bad language around here?
  • First Clerk: I haven't got any fuckin' idea.
  • Hamberger: Hold on, I don't want a falling down drunk on my hands.
  • Jane Mallory: This one's for for you.
  • [gives Hamberger a drink]
  • Hamberger: Thank you.
  • Jane Mallory: Besides, I might fall in your direction. Would you catch me?
  • Jane Mallory: I'm sure you can make it - quick and painless. That's more than life can be.
  • Hamberger: This refrigerator is larger than my apartment.
  • Hamberger: Can we see the gloves?
  • Rina: Come on. I'll show you. I'll put them on, so I won't hurt my knuckles when I hit you - beat you to a pulp.
  • Hamberger: "As I was going up Pippen Hill, Pippen Hill was dirty, And there I met a pretty Miss, She dropped me a curtsy, Little Miss, pretty Miss, All blessings light upon you, If I had half-a-crown a day, I'd gladly spend it on you."
  • Rina: Bull shit.
  • Detective Paul Lefferts: You've got the right to remain silent, *asshole*.
  • Detective Paul Lefferts: What the fuck have you got to be so jolly about?
  • Jane Mallory: You like me Hamberger. I can tell. You're coming to me in waves.
  • Rina: I would have went after him, but, as you can see, I'm butt naked.
  • Hamberger: Well, then, you better get down!
  • Rina: He was pretty mad at me, you know. I told him he could spank me.
  • [giggles]
  • Hamberger: And?
  • Hamberger: I'm sorry. I don't like to have my picture taken. You never know what someone's going to do with it.
  • Hamberger: They were after you. You're the only witness to Mr. Burton's proposition. Only, Mr. Burton wasn't Mr. Burton and Mrs. Burton wasn't Mrs. Burton.
  • Rina: Does that mean we don't get to keep the cash?
  • Hamberger: You beautiful, mercenary, creature, bitch, you.
  • Jane Mallory: You have a very rugged face. Has anyone ever told you you ought to try modeling?
  • Hamberger: I thought you had to be good looking to be a model.
  • Jane Mallory: Well, it doesn't hurt.
  • Hamberger: You've been a naughty girl.
  • Jane Mallory: I suppose it's difficult to understand why a beautiful woman would want to take her own life. But, often they don't see themselves as beautiful. They sometimes just see themselves as objects that people want and desire.
  • Hamberger: Yes, that could be frustrating.
  • Jane Mallory: Yes, well, I'm sure you've known your share of beautiful women, Mr. Hamberger. Were they happy?
  • Hamberger: Usually not. I did my best to cheer them up.
  • Jane Mallory: Well, you know how beautiful women are: fickle.
  • Jane Mallory: Are you trying to put me at a disadvantage? Do you always do that to women?
  • Jane Mallory: I'm a girl. Didn't you notice?
  • Hamberger: No place safer than the ladies room.
  • Jane Mallory: Well, it's a helluva lot safer than hanging out with you, Mr. Hamberger.
  • Jane Mallory: I was worried.
  • Hamberger: That I wouldn't be killed? Not this time. Thanks.
  • Hamberger: That's the name I want. I just needed verification. I'd hate to kill anybody without verification.
  • Detective Paul Lefferts: Ah, Jesus Christmas, what? Another murder? You know, I put my ass on the line. You're supposed to find a killer! Not cause more murders.
  • Jane Mallory: Are you one of those guys who likes to beat up on homosexuals?
  • Hamberger: I tried that once. He was the ex-middleweight champion of the U.S. Marine Corps. I left in five rounds.
  • Jane Mallory: Well, I can see that you would be attractive to all sexes.
  • Hamberger: You make it real hard.
  • Jane Mallory: Hard? Honey, I make it real easy.
  • Hamberger: Where do we go from here?
  • Jane Mallory: How about Rio?
  • Hamberger: Whatever face you wear, you're beautiful.
  • Jane Mallory: Well, it's gotten me out of a lot of trouble. Of course, it's gotten me into a little trouble too.
  • Hamberger: I think what he did was nice. You're a nice man. You were screwing her - and she was screwing me!
  • Gay in Gun Bureau: Just because you're gay doesn't mean you can't shoot straight.
  • Cosmo Reporter: Pardon me, but, aren't you Reggie Jackson, the ball player?
  • Hamberger: No, I'm Jesse Jackson, the Presidential candidate.
  • Cosmo Reporter: Oh, right on.

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