- Frankie Stone: For reasons I can't go into and you don't wanna know about, I have to go to this wedding, and I need a date, and you'd be the exact, perfect guy. Now, this isn't a proposition; I just wanna know if you might think about maybe going with me.
- Jeff Peters: A wedding? I don't know; I'm not very good with people.
- Frankie Stone: Oh, they're not people, they're just my family.
- Dr. Ramdas: This is where Ulysses was born. In the future, making love will no longer be necessary for the creation of life. It can all be done far more efficiently in the lab.
- Frankie Stone: How romantic.
- Dr. Ramdas: Of course, I, myself, prefer the old fashioned way.
- Frankie Stone: [seeing Ulysses for the first time] My God, he looks like you!
- Jeff Peters: What did you think he'd look like? An erector set?
- Trish: You know, Frankie, being single again could be really great. I mean you could sleep wherever you wanted and sleep with whoever you wanted. Have absolutely incredible sex with strangers. Like, um, I've never made it with a bodybuilder. Have you? Or, an acrobat. How about a car mechanic? A sweaty one! I've never even tried a ménage à trois. Have you?
- Frankie Stone: With Steve? Oh, God, it was hard enough to get him alone. And even then, it wasn't hard enough.
- Trish: Well, Frankie, when you think about it, there are a lot of possibilities.
- Jeff Peters: Miss Stone, if I have unwittingly lead you on, I sincerely apologize.
- Frankie Stone: Don't flatter yourself. I hate men.
- Frankie Stone: There are rules for social behavior and, well, relationships between people develop in stages. And, to get physical with someone you have to get to know them first.
- Ulysses: What was that?
- Frankie Stone: A kiss. People kiss when they like each other. It's a sign of love or affection. Although, in my case, maybe I'm going nuts.
- Bruce: The only confirmation I have, so far, is from "Eye on Miami."
- Frankie Stone: Jesus, Bruce, can't we get anything national?
- Bruce: Well, the Dr. Ruth people aren't sure. They want to know if - if he has a - a penis.
- Frankie Stone: Forget it! Try the Carson people.
- Frankie Stone: [after seeing Ulysses impressive anatomically correct naked body] I just don't understand why Jeff felt it was necessary to give you that - um - thing.
- Ulysses: Jeff felt it would give me confidence.
- Jeff Peters: Haven't you ascertained by now that I have no desire in pursuing intimate relations with you?
- Frankie Stone: [Ulysses is on the floor in the kitchen with this pants down] Trish, calm down! Now, what happened?
- Trish: I couldn't help it. It was the way he looked at me. He was so beautiful. And all of the sudden we were in each other's arms and we were making love and it was so fantastic.
- Frankie Stone: You were making what?
- Trish: We were making love and it was the most beautiful thing I've ever felt in my entire life.
- Frankie Stone: Wait, wait, wait, wait! Wait a minute. He could do that? With you!
- Trish: Why shouldn't he do that with me?
- Frankie Stone: Oh, Trish! Damn it! Did you show him how?
- Frankie Stone: Listen! I'm sorry to have to tell you this; but, you didn't make love to my cousin. You just made it with my android!
- Trish: You're what? Ewwwww!
- Trish: Oh my God, they're Frenching! This is network TV and they're using tongues! That's got to be against some rule.
- Trish: I don't see why Ulysses bought you all this stuff anyway. I'm the one who slept with him, for Christ sake. It's bad enough to be dumped by Donald; but, to the jilted by an android!
- Station Wagon Driver: [sees Ulysses walking on the side of the highway] Hey dude, are you alright?
- Ulysses: [shows driver the invitation] I'm going to a wedding.
- Station Wagon Driver: [looks at the invitation] That's way the hell in Miami Beach, my man!
- Ulysses: Are you going way the hell in Miami Beach, my man?
- Bruce: The Myrolls Group is still waiting on the promo copy. Geraldi likes the slogan, but, he wants to delete the word: small. He thinks it's a turnoff.
- Frankie Stone: Okay. Change it from, "Small enough to hold," to "Big enough to grab onto."
- Frankie Stone: Dr. Ramdas, do you know who controls most of America's TV dials and buys 72% of all magazines? Women. And if this publicity campaign is gonna work, that, gentlemen, is your target group.
- Dr. Ramdas: This sounds like something you could do in, say, 35 days?
- Frankie Stone: Only if I can publicize the android my way and that means full media saturation. And I promise you boys I'll have everyone in Congress itching to fund your program before you can say: ET.
- Frankie Stone: Oh, hi. You must be Dr. Peters. I'm Frankie Stone.
- Ulysses: What do you call these?
- Frankie Stone: What?
- [Ulysses grabs her breasts and she pushes him away]
- Frankie Stone: What? Look, you've been in this lab too long, buddy!
- [in walks Dr. Peters]
- Moe Glickstein: Honey, calm down! Here's $20. I can get you into Tiny Tim at the Eden Roc. It's a terrific show. What do you say, huh?
- Frankie Stone: Why are you starring at me like that?
- Ulysses: Because, you taught me to and because I think you're attractive. I think you're the most attractive woman I know.
- Frankie Stone: I'm the only woman you know.
- Over intercom at Chemtec: Paging Dr. Nebitol. Dr. Nebitol, your pizza is here.