Molly Ringwald credited as playing...
Randy Jensen
- Jack Jericho: Did anyone ever tell you you're too good to be true?
- Randy Jensen: No only that I'm too truthful to be good.
- Jack Jericho: May I ask you a question?
- Randy Jensen: As long as it's personal.
- Jack Jericho: Great answer.
- Randy Jensen: What are you looking at?
- Jack Jericho: I'm looking at your legs - and I'm not afraid to admit it.
- Randy Jensen: Oh, I thought it was my intelligence stimulated you?
- Jack Jericho: It was. It is! You know, I've always responded to women with great intensity, but in the past it's been mixed. I love the arms, but I hate the voice. I love the voice, but I hate the mind. I love the mind, but I hate the feet. Then I have to concentrate on the one thing that excited me in order to get going. With you it's different. Everything excites me.
- Jack Jericho: Oh, oh, oh. Yeah. Yes. Oh, wow. You're wonderful. Do you have any idea how good you feel? You're like silk, you're like cream. Do you love the way that feels?
- Randy Jensen: Uh-huh.
- Jack Jericho: Does that hurt?
- Randy Jensen: Uh-uh.
- Jack Jericho: Are you sure?
- Randy Jensen: Uh-huh.
- Jack Jericho: God, this is paradise, isn't it?
- Randy Jensen: Uh-huh. Could you move your arm a little bit to the left? My spine is snapping on the emergency brake.
- Jack Jericho: No problem. How's that?
- Randy Jensen: Fine.
- Jack Jericho: Is there anything in the whole cosmos that could make this moment any more perfect than it is right now?
- Randy Jensen: Uh-huh. Just one. If you could keep absolutely quiet for the next 15 seconds, I'll cum.
- Jack Jericho: My name's Jack Jericho. I must say, that rose goes magnificently with your pale skin and dark eyes and white teeth and pink lips and red hair. Has anyone ever told you you have the face of a Botticelli and the body of a Degas?
- Randy Jensen: My tenth-grade art teacher.
- Jack Jericho: May I ask you another question? What do you think of a perfect stranger coming up to you on the street and giving you a rose?
- Randy Jensen: I think with an opening like that, there's nowhere to go but down.
- Jack Jericho: Never underestimate the powers of strangers buying flowers.
- Jack Jericho: May I ask you one last question? What if this stranger who gave you the rose were to say something to you really outrageous like: "Randy, I think you're the most lovely, luminous, radiant, exotic, erotic woman I've ever met and I must make love to you immediately"? Then what would you do?
- Randy Jensen: Depends on where he said it.
- Jack Jericho: You wouldn't want to find out if you liked him?
- Randy Jensen: I know when I like someone two seconds after we met eyes on him.
- Jack Jericho: Don't say that unless you're serious.
- Randy Jensen: Test me.
- Randy Jensen: I don't give out my telephone number.
- Jack Jericho: After what we've just been through?
- Randy Jensen: That was in the past. A phone number's in the future.
- Jack Jericho: You sound pretty cold.
- Randy Jensen: You have to be with guys like that.
- Jack Jericho: Like what?
- Randy Jensen: Cruisers, collectors, pick-up artists.
- Harriet: Ed was my second husband. Harry was my first boyfriend. This was Steve.
- Randy Jensen: So what did you do?
- Harriet: I broke his nose.
- Randy Jensen: And that was the last time you saw him?
- Harriet: Are you kidding?
- Randy Jensen: You kept seeing him and he did it again?
- Harriet: Of course.
- Randy Jensen: How soon?
- Harriet: Oh, I've no idea. Probably with the nurse who fixed his nose.
- Randy Jensen: This may sound naive, but have you considered not getting involved with these men?
- Harriet: Which men?
- Randy Jensen: All of them.
- Harriet: Come on, now. Men can be a lot of fun.
- Randy Jensen: Well, fine, fine. Good, take the fun, but why get all involved? Why depend on them? Why trust them? So they can let you down just when you thought that you could count on them?
- Alonzo: He's become obsessed with you. Spend a night with the guy. Make him happy. You can make a lot of money from this guy.
- Randy Jensen: You want his money, you date him.