Marcia Strassman: Diane Szalinski

Honey, I Blew Up the Kid

Diane Szalinski

Diane: There's one thing every little kid knows. Daddies mean fun; mommies mean business.

Diane: [smiles] Sweetheart, you can tell me. How bad can it be?
[kisses him]
Diane: After all, it's not like you did something to one of the kids again.
[Wayne goes nervous then chuckles]
Diane: [frowns] Wayne, where is Adam?
Wayne: Well, uh...
Diane: [raises her voice] Who is that man in the van? And where did this bunny come from!
Wayne: Alright, I confess, I did it!
Diane: Did what?
Adam: [comes on before her eyes] PEEKABOO!
[Adam knocks on the door]
Wayne: I blew up the baby!
[Diane faints]
Adam: Mama fall down! Mama!
Nick: [appears from behind Adam] How'd she take it?
Wayne: About like usual.
Adam: Mama sleeping?

Diane: I don't understand any of this.
Wayne: Around every electrical operating device, there's a flux. Like an electromagnetic force field.
Clifford Sterling: That's what's causing the baby to grow.
Marshall Brooks: Would this electromagnetic... would it surround neon lights too?
Wayne: Yeah, why?
Marshall Brooks: Your kid. He's heading toward Las Vegas.
Diane, Wayne, Clifford Sterling: Uh-oh.

[Diane has grown to giant size and catches Charles Hendrickson in a helicopter menacing Adam with a tranquilizer gun]
Diane: [to Charles] BACK OFF!

Dr. Charles Hendrickson: [after Adam is back to normal size, to Wayne] Well, Szalinski, you pulled it off. Who would have thought?
Diane: Dr. Hendrickson, that looked like some sort of rifle that you were shooting at my baby.
Dr. Charles Hendrickson: They were tranquilizer cartridges. They wouldn't have hurt him, I assure you.
Diane: Oh...
[turns to Wayne and Clifford]
Diane: [does not buy it] Tranquilizer cartridges.
[Diane slugs Charles knocking him unconscious making him fall on the street]
Wayne: [to Adam] Never cross Mommy.
Clifford Sterling: We got an emergency here! Dr. Hendrickson needs help. He's overcome with the prospect of having to find a new career.

Diane: Why are you closing the shutters?
Wayne: So one of the neighbors doesn't look in, see a 7 foot baby, and call the National Enquirer.
Adam Szalinski: [hears the doorbell ringing] Doorbell!
Diane: Who's that?
Wayne: One of the neighbors.
Diane: [sarcastically] So far your plan has been working perfectly.

Wayne: Mr. Sterling, sir, I can return my son back to normal!
Clifford Sterling: You can?
Dr. Charles Hendrickson: With what, Szalinski? Coca Cola bottles? Perhaps some chewing gum and twine?
Diane: Just who do you think you are talking to him like that?
Wayne: Diane, let me handle this. Who do you think you are talking to me like that?

Diane: Just who do you think you are talking to him like that?
Wayne: Diane, let me handle this. Who do you think you are talking to me like that?

[Diane grabs a megaphone]
Diane: Adam Szalinski... this is your mommy talking... YOU STOP RIGHT NOW
[Adam keeps walking]
Clifford Sterling: That wouldn't do any good Mrs Szalinski... surely he expects his mommy to be bigger than he is... to him, you're just... well you're nothing more than a talking doll

[Wayne drives Nick and Adam back home looking worried after failing to return Adam to normal]
Nick: [about Dr. Hendrickson] Why didn't you tell him, dad? I mean, at least then they'd know that you were able to make it work when nobody else could.
Wayne: [sternly] Look, Nick, remember we made you kids promise never, ever to tell anyone you were accidentally shrunk and lost for two days?
Nick: Yeah.
Wayne: That's because we didn't want you guys to become specimens, to undergo countless tests, to go through endless observations and who knows what else!
Nick: What about Adam? What are we going to do?
Wayne: I don't know. What I do know is... we got to figure out some way fix this before your mother gets home.
[as they pull into the driveway, they see that Diane is already home]
Diane: [waves] Hi, guys, I'm home!
[Wayne goes stunned as she sees her holding Adam's big bunny]
Diane: Where'd this come from?
[Wayne immediately drives away almost hitting a car]

Diane: [In the back of the van, Wayne tests the machine and doesn't realize he shrinks 2 policemen. Diane stops the van] Wayne Szalinski, you unshrink those policemans right now!
[a car drives by causing the policemen to be all muddy. Wayne unshrinks them]