- [seeing Lewis get chummy with Stan Gable]
- Dudley 'Booger' Dawson, Esq.: You've become the worst kind of nerd. A self-hating one. I remember when you were the George Washington of nerds. Now, you're more like the Benedict Arnold!
- [after Lewis refuses to help the Tri-Lambs]
- Harold Skolnick: I used to have an uncle. His name wasn't Lew, it was *Lewis*! And I was proud to have his Scolnick blood coursing through my veins!
- Dudley 'Booger' Dawson, Esq.: I'm your attorney.
- Harold Skolnick: Oh, Mr. Dawson!
- Dudley 'Booger' Dawson, Esq.: No, no, no, call me Booger.
- Harold Skolnick: Certainly, Mr. Booger.
- Dudley 'Booger' Dawson, Esq.: No, no, not Mr. Boo... Well, no, wait a minute... I kind of like that. Mr. Booger. It's kind of distinguished.
- Dudley 'Booger' Dawson, Esq.: You don't eat meat! You don't do drugs! What's wrong with kids today?
- Malcolm Pennington III: We've had the benefit of learning from your generation's mistakes. We believe in "Just Say No." So, with all due respect, we won't turn out like you.
- Dudley 'Booger' Dawson, Esq.: [brief pause] Oh, well that makes sense.
- Harold Skolnick: Are you Japanese?
- Steve Toyota: [Using "Elvis Presley" style of speach throughout movie] Heck, naw, boy. I'm Korean.
- Harold Skolnick: Why do you talk like that?
- Steve Toyota: South Korean.
- Disc Jockey: There's no greater friend to the nerd than the American DJ. If we weren't all nerds ourselves, we'd all be on television.
- Dudley 'Booger' Dawson, Esq.: What are you guys eating? Cows eat that crap.
- Steve Toyota: I like this guy already.
- Harold Skolnick: [1:11] College is going to be so great!
- Ira Poppus: Yeah, that's what you said about high school when we got the crap knocked out of us every day.
- Harold Skolnick: There were a few incorrigible elements in high school but it's completely different at Adams. Adams college is one of the first school in the country to treat nerds with respect. It's the promised land, kind of like a nerd Israel.
- Dean Stanley Gable: Do you have the proper windshield wipers?
- Harold Skolnick: Certainly. What would you like to see them do?