- [Saffron is living "on campus" and Eddy tells her she wants her to move back home]
- Saffie: Mum, what is the problem? I have my life and you have yours. This is what you wanted.
- Eddie: I feel orphaned, you know.
- Saffie: What is the matter? Has the deal fallen through?
- Eddie: No the deal. Not the deal. Not that. It's just...
- Saffie: What?
- Eddie: Well, darling, you have just sort of abandoned me in this sort of wilderness of potential greatness and fabulousness, haven't you? All my walls have gone "flop", "flop"... I'm just like this kind of prisoner that's released... RELEASED PRISONER, darling, that is walking out into the squinting sun. I mean, you've cast me adrift with no oars.
- Saffie: You have oars.
- Eddie: I haven't.
- Saffie: You have. You're just too lazy and fat to use them.
- Saffie: [commenting on Patsy's new Botox look] You look like a haggis with pointed toes. A tight old bladder skin holding together some rotting offal.
- Patsy: I thought a little mosey down Bond Street, a little sniff around Gucci, sidle up to Ralph Lauren, pass through Browns and on to Quags for a light lunch.
- Patsy: One whiff of a cocoa bean and our customers would fly like vampires before garlic. Jeremy's must remain a sterile oasis, free from street eaters and coffee carriers. Aseptic and razor-sharp as our customers' hipbones. These women shop for lunch! Labels are their only sustenance! Their skeleton legs in Manolos have worn trenches down the pavement of Sloane Street. Their arm sinews have just enough muscles left in their arm to lift up a credit card.
- Eddie: The word on the old grave marker, the words on your grave marker. What is that?
- Patsy: Oh, your epitomb.
- Eddie: Your epitomb. What is it that you want on your epitomb?
- Patsy: I want: "She was fantastic."..."Patsy was here."
- Eddie: No, darling, you can just have "Patsy Stone".
- Patsy: Oh, Eddy, Eddy. Wait for this. Wait for this: "Eddy: Still no thinner."
- Eddie: These are really funny. We could sell those.
- Saffie: I didn't know you still had the shop.
- Eddie: Oh, still got it, darling, but it's not doing very well. The supply's dropped off. You know... India's: had it, been there... Africa's dried up completely now... It's ridiculous... Thank God for Grozny. Honestly. Well, darling, if it wasn't for that lovely little Russian army advancing, thrashing out all those gorgeous little heirlooms in my direction, I don't know what I'd do... Oh, you should see, darling, in the shop I've got at the moment this fabulous little samovar with a little old woman still attached to it, sweetie. Clinging on for dear life. Having to lure her off with dry bread crumbs so that I could get a decent price...
- Sarah: Does your mother know you write plays and things?
- Saffie: No, and I don't want her to either, so don't say anything.
- Sarah: Oh, you don't need to worry. I don't speak to her anymore. Not since she gave me that chemical peel.
- Saffie: Well, it wasn't so much chemical. And not so much peel. She set fire to your pig-tails.
- Sarah: It's good job I'm thick-skinned... Well, except for the shoulder.
- Patsy: They want you filleted and splayed on the butcher's block so they can photograph all your organs for "Heat" magazine.
- Eddie: Pats. Pats. You know, like, when you are in a room or something, and you think someone is like staring at you...
- Patsy: In a room?
- Eddie: Or in a plane. Anywhere... anywhere... And you are sort of doing things because you think someone is looking at you like people are looking at you, you know?
- Patsy: On a plane?
- Eddie: Well, anywhere... anywhere... And then you look at them and they are just sort of asleep but their head is flopped in your direction, you know? Well, I don't want THAT to happen. I don't want THAT to be my life, you know. The whole world asleep.