- Milo: We'll go away. But you know what? We'll get her. Somebody'll get her. A hit and run, a mugging. Do you know what botulism is? We can get her with soup.
- [Frank is doing his routine for a group of cops]
- Milo: My friend, Phil, he wants to join the police department. He goes to the station, and starts filling out the application. They ask him, "Mr. Scarangello, how tall are you?" And he looks at his right hand and says, "Uh, five foot ten." And they ask him, "how much do you weigh?" And he looks at his other hand, and says, "Two hundred and three pounds." So then they ask, "Okay, and what's your first name?" He goes...
- Milo: [bobs his head from side to side] "Philly." They ask him, "what are you doing with your head there?" He goes...
- Milo: [bobbing] "Happy Birthday to me, Happy birthday to me...
- [laughter]
- Milo: [after being accused, by Mike, of killing the shooter that was left in the garbage pail] Oh and incidently, I don't know what you are talking about... a guy in a garbage pail... but uh, most of the people I know who don't die in bed... they usually wind up killing themselves.
- Milo: Don't ever, ever fuck with me. Don't ever lie to me, disrespect me, underestimate me. If you do, your life becomes a raging sea. But, come to me like a man - come to me eyes open, head up, hand out, then I become more than a friend, more than a shoulder. I become the expediter of your dreams.
- Mad Dog: That's beautiful.
- [first lines]
- Dealer in Car: Yo fellas, what's up?
- Driver: Same old same old.
- Dealer in Car: I got meatballs, I got ready rocks, I got gumballs. Shit, I even got gas starter kits.
- Shooter: Jumbos, two-twentys.
- Dealer in Car: Two-twentys'll be 40.
- Shooter: [flashing bills] You break this?
- Dealer in Car: I ain't no cash machine.
- Mad Dog: From the direction of the blood on the window, I'd say your victim got whacked here - and your shooter was sitting in the front passenger seat there. You got a lot of blood in the doorwell - so the door had to be open at the time. Maybe he slipped in for a quick sale and the deal went sour or it was rip-off time and ba-boom.
- Mad Dog: It's the first time I pulled out my gun in 15 years. I pissed on myself.
- Mike: You know why? Because you're a sensitive, intelligent indivdual.
- Mad Dog: You ever piss on yourself?
- Mike: Look, I would've walked in there and drilled the red-eyed little bastard - but that's just the way I am. But if I ever had an intelligent thought, it would die of loneliness. It all evens out. You know what I mean? Let me tell you something. Next time that happens, you're that scared - the best thing is sex. You're all adrenalized. You'll go off like a rocket.
- Mike: If I was you last night, I would have been on the horn with every broad I knew who wasn't related to me by blood.
- Milo: Angie's father was on his deathbed. He calls his sons to him and says, "Put a hundred in my coffin. Each of you." In case, you know, you can take it with you. The guy dies. Angie's two brothers put in their yardage. Angie - drops in a check for 300 and takes out the cash.
- Milo: The only thing cheaper than a hood is a cop. Cops. Forget about it. They squeeze the nickel till the buffalo shits.
- Glory: I'm like a thank-you present. I'm like - I'm like - I'm a seven-day singing telegram. I'm like one of those people that comes to your door in a gorilla suit with balloons.
- Mad Dog: My wife - they should cross her with a - MacIntosh PC. Get a computer - that never goes down.
- Mike: Come on, you fuckin' hump. Come on, you hero. I want a taste of you. Let's go. Come on, get up.
- Glory: You ask a bartender or a waiter around here, "What do you do?" They say, "I'm an actor." "I'm a singer." "I'm a student." "I'm a writer." After a couple years, you have to be honest with yourself. I'm a bartender. A waiter. Waitress.
- Glory: Why is it the worst thing a guy can imagine happening to a woman... is that she fucked some other guy?