Night Train to Venice

What a mess. I bought the laserdisc of this years ago, an impulse purchase, because of Hugh Grant. Up to that point I had enjoyed everything I'd seen him in. After suffering through watching the film, all I could think was that the writer(s) and director must have been doing vastly different types of drugs resulting in an incomprehensible train wreck (pun intended) of a film. Neither Grant's charm nor McDowell's depth and style can save this one. The re-titling of the film to "Train to Hell" is probably the best thing the distributors have done. At least they're being honest that this is a train ride to hell in a handbasket. I haven't bothered to watch the film since (just can't bring myself to torture myself that way again).

for some reason this film keeps being put on TV opposite late night infomercials. however, it's not any more entertaining than they are. u can sleep to it though and even listen to CDs while its on and u won't miss a thing. not sure if this could have been safely released theatrically without bomb threats against the projectionist. someone should probably confiscate all copies of this baloney and do atomic testing near them. its possible this film causes cancer.It also begs the question: why there isn't a "zero" rating on this site? I'm wondering if the director really knows how bad this is and whether he was able to be paid for it. Maybe the director's name really is alan smithee.. or maybe it should be.

I was in my mums flat waiting for cable guy to turn up and I thought I would watch one of her DVDs. Well everything seemed fine when I read the cover and read the plot of film but as soon as it started I began to wonder.... has my mum gone mad!? Why did she buy this? From the acting to the direction I was appalled! This has to be one of the worst films I have ever seen! So Bad I still watched it to the end , hoping that there would be an explanation as to why this film was ever made in the first place or what it all meant and to think this was made with Malcolm McDowell (shame on you Malcolm!). the best thing to do with the DVD if you unfortunately have it in your collection is to use it as a nice coaster! Truly Awful!!

And I don't think I am exaggerating. Everything is terribly wrong in this picture: from the absolute lack of story (from minute 20 there is nothing to understand) to the amateur performances or cinematography. A complete failure.

everybody likes to watch bad movies from time to time, simply because they're so bad it's funny. well, this is not one of those movies. no matter how well developed your sense of irony might be, this movie is so insultingly bad that I doubt anybody could derive any pleasure from watching it.

one of the biggest complaints my friends and I had was that it feels like it was written by 3 separate people on 3 different continents, without any knowledge of what the others were doing. for some reason, hugh grant takes a train to venice (imagine that!) and on the trip he meets this woman and has gibberish conversations with her. malcolm mcdowell comes around and says some needlessly cryptic things and a guy gets tossed off the train. then there's the nazis who aren't so much characters as really bad caricatures played by people with no talent.

oh yeah...there's a naked man in a cage at one point, as well as some american nazis holding a rally and beating guys up in the street, though they're in Europe...

once hugh gets to venice, all hell breaks loose...well, not really. the movie just doesn't make any sense from this point on. it's like a bad fever dream. i won't even try to explain because there's no point.

granted, a movie doesn't have to be linear or have a coherent plot to be a good movie...look at david lynch. however, this is not a david lynch film. it's just bad. there is no story, plot, coherence, there are no real characters, and really no point. i'm angry that i watched this and now hate everybody associated with its production.