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The Return of Jafar (1994)

Quotes

The Return of Jafar

Edit
  • Jafar: That was two wishes. Take your time with the third.
  • [menacingly]
  • Jafar: Or you will wish you had never been born.
  • Blue Genie: [about Jafar] Don't worry, Abu. He's a genie, and genies can't kill anyone.
  • [Jafar's hands turn into dragons and spray fire all over Genie and Abu]
  • Blue Genie: [wheezing] But you'd be surprised what you can live through.
  • Jafar: If it weren't for *me*, you'd still be in a cage at the bazaar squawking, "Polly want a cracker!"
  • Iago: The street rat is living in the palace now? Aah! That does it! All reports are in! Life is now officially unfair!
  • Jafar: Ah, Iago... you betrayed me and allied yourself with my enemies. And you turned on them as soon at it was in your best interests! That's what I love about you. You're so perfectly predictable. A villain through and through.
  • Blue Genie: [arriving from his trip around the world] He's big! He's blue! He's BACK!
  • Aladdin 'Al': [as he and Jasmine hug the Genie] Genie!
  • Princess Jasmine: You came back!
  • Blue Genie: [turning red, yelling and wincing] Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Watch the sunburrrn!
  • [stops wincing, then turns blue again]
  • Blue Genie: Aha! Kidding. Did ya miss me? Be honest.
  • [handing his luggage to Abu]
  • Blue Genie: Take care of these, my good mammal.
  • Abu the Monkey: [Abu takes the luggage, but falls down from Aladdin's shoulder]
  • Blue Genie: Careful, they're heavy! Hang on, I got souvenirs for everybody!
  • [Princess Jasmine is crying in her royal chamber]
  • Iago: [at the window] Come on, princess! Don't waste your tears on him.
  • Princess Jasmine: You! Get out of here!
  • [swipes the curtain in front of Iago]
  • Iago: Hey, don't take it out on me! *He's* the creep. I *never* should've saved his life.
  • [Iago awaits Jasmine's response]
  • Princess Jasmine: [turns around and opens the curtains] Saved his life?
  • Iago: [flies in] Yeah. He owed me one. That's why he stood up for me.
  • Princess Jasmine: But he didn't have to lie to me.
  • [sits down and folds her arms]
  • Iago: You are so right.
  • Aladdin 'Al': You saw the whole world already?
  • Blue Genie: [sings] It's a small world after all.
  • [turns back to normal and speaks]
  • Blue Genie: But Agrabah has something that no other place in the world has.
  • [Turns into a rocket and shouts]
  • Blue Genie: YOU GUYS!
  • Iago: I've got sand in places I didn't even know I had.
  • Jafar: [heard from inside his lamp] Spare me your prattling, Iago! Are we out yet?
  • Iago: [mimicking Jafar] 'Are we out yet? Are we out yet?' Yes, we're out! No thanks to you. If it weren't for me, you'd be stuck down there forever.
  • Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: [hesitating on freeing Jafar] Wait. How do I know that these things won't *disappear* once I set you free?
  • Jafar: [losing it] The more pressing question is... how will you stay alive if you DON'T?
  • Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: [Nervously] But--but you said genies can't kill! You said that!
  • Jafar: You'd be surprised what you can live through.
  • Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: [sees a giant ruby] Ooh-hoo, I always wanted one of those!
  • [runs forward and hugs it]
  • Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: Nice! More! MORE!
  • Blue Genie: [running up to Jasmine with Abu to catch Sultan and Aladdin] Hey-hey! Clear the way! Make room for the picnic boys!
  • Princess Jasmine: They already left, Genie.
  • Blue Genie: [gasps] Without us?
  • Abu the Monkey: Without us?
  • Blue Genie: No problem! I'll catch up in a flash!
  • Princess Jasmine: Wait! Without me, too. Aladdin needs some time alone with Father to patch things up.
  • Blue Genie: [to Abu] You know what this means, monkey boy? MORE FOOD FOR US!
  • [Last lines]
  • Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: Does this mean I don't get my third wish?
  • Blue Genie: [Thinking he destroyed Jafar] Hahahaha! Who's laughing now?
  • Jafar: Hahahahaa!
  • [Reappears]
  • Jafar: Why, I believe it's me.
  • Abu the Monkey: Argh!
  • Jafar: [bellows at first, then softens down] YOU WILL NOW RELEASE ME! So that I may have my revenge.
  • Iago: [pulling himself loose from the sand, then shaking himself off] Yeah, yeah, when I'm good and ready.
  • Jafar: [impatient] Do as I SAY, you worthless PIPSQUEAK!
  • Iago: You know somethin'? You're nothin' without me.
  • Jafar: WHAT?
  • Iago: Who comes up with all the good ideas? Me! Who does all the work? ME!
  • Jafar: [to Aladdin] You shall NEVER have my lamp, and there is no one to save you this time!
  • Iago: [swooping down, shouting] Hey Jafar! SHUT UUUUUUUUUUP!
  • Blue Genie: And Iago! Talk about a rat with wings!
  • Aladdin 'Al': Uh, Genie?
  • Blue Genie: Whew! That bird was *mean*!
  • [Turns his head into Iago]
  • Blue Genie: "Sultan want a cracker? Sultan want a cracker?"
  • [His head returns to normal]
  • Blue Genie: Remember that?
  • The Sultan of Agrabah: I can still taste them - the traitor!
  • Blue Genie: Yes, sir! You don't see *this* guy hangin' out with any evil parrots!
  • Aladdin 'Al': Heh. Uh, it's funny you should mention Iago.
  • Iago: [relaxing on a large cushion] Ohh, yeah! Bein' one of the good guys has its advantages. Ahh... advisor to Aladdin, the new grand vizier. And when Aladdin becomes Sultan, that will make *me* the grand vizier. Only I'm not gonna blow it like that idiot Jafar!
  • [he eats a cluster of grapes in one ago and then tosses the stem away]
  • Iago: [talking with his mouth full] I'll *never* have to stand in his shadow again.
  • [the lights go out, a spotlight switches on over Iago and Jafar appears out of the darkness]
  • Iago: [startled] Awk! Jafar!
  • [Jafar steps forwards]
  • Iago: [nervously] Buddy?
  • Aladdin 'Al': Sultan, I have to tell you something about Iago.
  • Iago: [tickles Rajah's nose with one of his feathers]
  • Rajah: [sneezes Iago out in front of Sultan]
  • Aladdin 'Al': [gulps nervously] He's here.
  • [Genie saves Aladdin from being beheaded]
  • Aladdin 'Al': Thanks for savin' me!
  • Blue Genie: Oh, c'mon, Al, you know I *had* to. Ooh, that no head look is just not you. For my next trick: bibbidi-bobbidi-BOO! Ho-ho, and everybody's safe and sound.
  • Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: I got it! I could wish for the famed treasure chest of King Malakhan!
  • [Jafar makes the chest appear with Abis Mal in it, then makes it disappear]
  • Jafar: Oh, I am dreadfully sorry. I thought that was your wish. Are you quite all right?
  • Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: [agitated] No, I am not quite...
  • Jafar: Wonderful! Good to see all is well.
  • Jafar: [singing] Men cower at the power in my pinky / My thumb is number one on every list! But if you're not convinced that I'm invincible / put me to the test / I'd love to lay this rivalry to rest!
  • Jafar: [laughs sinisterly] Good help is SO hard to find these days. Isn't it, Aladdin?
  • Jafar: The street rat? Still ALIVE? NOOOOOO!
  • [after Princess Jasmine has said that she is also going to see the world]
  • Iago: [flying around] Crazy talk! Why do I keep gettin' hooked up with these *warped people*?
  • [the camera pans out from the palace]
  • Iago: [sweetly] Shouldn't somebody ask what the *brave parrot* wants to do?
  • Blue Genie: [talking about the hula skirt girl] Oooh, she dances!
  • Princess Jasmine: [to Iago] How could you double cross Aladdin after all he's done for you?
  • Abu the Monkey: [chatters angrily]
  • Iago: Hey! Do I insult *your* mother?
  • Abu the Monkey: [Abu stops and gives Iago a dirty look]
  • Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: [while Jafar slashes the Sultan's turban] Hey, that was a nice hat. I could've worn that hat!
  • Jafar: We need this for our plan.
  • Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: Couldn't we use another hat for the plan?
  • Jafar: Oh, no. The Sultan's turban and this dagger are *exactly* what we need... to seal Aladdin's doom.
  • Blue Genie: [impersonating Jiminy Cricket from "Pinocchio"] Just let your conscience be your guide.
  • Iago: Conscience? Never had one. Never!
  • Jafar: [to Abis Mal] Let's not be too hasty, my simple-minded friend. It's not enough that we simply DESTROY Aladdin. After all... there are things *so* much worse than DEATH!
  • [laughs menacingly]
  • Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: [looks nervous and then smiles evilly]
  • Jafar: [Jafar is released from the lamp] I am FREE! Free to exact vengeance upon he who has imprisoned me...
  • [Jafar flies away, only to be held in place by his shackles]
  • Jafar: It is the curse of the lamp! All the power in the universe, and I am bound by the rules of the GENIE! Which means, I can't KILL that upstart Aladdin!
  • [sees Abis Mal]
  • Jafar: Unless - I have someone arrange it for me... Take me to Agrabah at ONCE!
  • [Abis Mal, still terrified, can barely speak]
  • Jafar: I suppose I AM a bit too much for his limited mind.
  • [Jafar turns into his human form]
  • Jafar: I trust you'll find me a little less overwhelming now?
  • Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: You're... a genie?
  • Jafar: You are astonishingly perceptive.
  • Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: [to himself] That stinking Aladdin! First chance I get, I'll slice him in half.
  • Thief: [to other thieves] That stinking Abis Mal. First chance we get, let's slice him in half.
  • [Aladdin, Abu, and Iago bump into Abis Mal and company]
  • Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: You... look familiar.
  • Thieves: [chorusing] It's Aladdin!
  • Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: Where? It is? I - I knew that! Hurt him a lot! Hurt him, and his monkey, and his bird, too!
  • Iago: [smearing dirt all over himself] I'll just get Aladdin on my side with a little sympathy act. And I'll be back in the palace again quicker than you can say "Easy Street."
  • [Aladdin turns corner to find Iago panting for breath]
  • Iago: [weakly] Finally... got free... of Jafar.
  • [coughs]
  • Aladdin 'Al': [angrily] Iago! What are you doing here?
  • Iago: [weakly] Where are you? Getting dark... hold me...
  • [Aladdin fiercely grabs at him]
  • Iago: [screams] Hey! I meant gentle-like!
  • Iago: Reality check. Jafar is large, and in CHARGE!
  • Narrator: [singing] Pack your shield, pack your sword, you won't ever get bored / though get beaten or gored you might / Come on down stop on by / hop a carpet and fly to another Arabian Night.
  • [after Iago has knocked the lamp into the molten magma]
  • Jafar: My lamp! NOOOOOOOO!
  • Aladdin 'Al': I can't just stay in the palace! There's too much to do, too much to see.
  • Blue Genie: Giddy up, slowpoke. What's keepin' ya?
  • Aladdin 'Al': Nothin'! Well, something, but - I'll tell ya later.
  • [Aladdin is accused for the murder of the Sultan]
  • Razoul the Chief Guard: And then you went over the waterfall, eh? Ha! How did you survive?
  • Aladdin 'Al': [hanging his head in shame] I... I don't know.
  • Razoul the Chief Guard: [crosses his arms in disbelief] How *very* convenient.
  • Aladdin 'Al': It's the truth! Why won't you believe me?
  • Princess Jasmine: [off camera] Because we know you're lying.
  • Aladdin 'Al': Huh?
  • Princess Jasmine: I found this in your room!
  • [holds out the Sultan's tattered turban]
  • Princess Jasmine: My father's turban... slashed.
  • Aladdin 'Al': You can't think...
  • Princess Jasmine: I thought you loved me, but now I see that all you wanted to do was rule Agrabah!
  • Aladdin 'Al': I never wanted...
  • Princess Jasmine: He shall die at dawn, for the murder of my father.
  • [Jasmine runs off, stops at the door and then shuts it]
  • Aladdin 'Al': Jasmine, please!
  • Razoul the Chief Guard: [restrains Aladdin] You're in *my* hands now, STREET RAT!
  • [Genie and the Carpet are playing pool]
  • Blue Genie: Your shot.
  • [pause]
  • Blue Genie: Pool's a man's game; so being a rug, you'll be at a disadvan...
  • [Carpet clears the table with break shot]
  • Blue Genie: Ah, pool's a dumb game anyway.
  • Jafar: [after he demands Abis Mal to take him and the lamp to Agrabah, which makes Abis Mal speak nervous gibberish] I suppose I AM a bit too much for his limited mind.
  • Jafar: [he and Abis Mal appear at the sunken treasure ship of Coeur du Mer] Poor, sweet baby. Aren't we enjoying our wish?
  • Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: [muffled, as an octupus wraps one of its tentacles around Abis Mal] No!
  • Jafar: Perhaps you wish me to return you to the desert?
  • Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: [muffled] Yes!
  • Jafar: Very well.
  • Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: [opening a treasure chest] Is this a haul or what, my surly band of desert skunks?
  • Thief: Grrr, how is it *you* get the jeweled flower, Abis Mal?
  • Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: Why, this is my bonus for being your beloved leader!
  • [as he points to his flower, then two sacks of jewels]
  • Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: And this, and that, and that are my beloved leader bonus.
  • Thief: And what is *our* reward?
  • [the other thieves grumble in question]
  • Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: [tossing a bag of coins to them] Here you go. Good work, boys. Very successful raid.
  • Aladdin 'Al': So Genie, how does it feel to be free?
  • Blue Genie: Seriously? I LOVE it!
  • Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: Who are you?
  • Aladdin 'Al': My friends call me Al. *You* can call me Aladdin.
  • Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: Gah! HURT HIM!
  • Aladdin 'Al': Give it up Jafar! We're obviously too much for you to handle!
  • Jafar: YOU! You're a FOOL to challenge ME! I am ALL POWERFUL!
  • Aladdin 'Al': Some all powerful. You can't even get rid of a lowly street rat!
  • Jafar: A problem I mean to rectify, RIGHT NOW!
  • Princess Jasmine: Aladdin!
  • Princess Jasmine: Rajah! You know better than to tear around the palace like that!
  • Iago: [opens up Rajah's mouth] Help!
  • [Aladdin closes Rajah's mouth to hide Iago from Jasmine and Sultan]
  • Iago: HEY!
  • The Sultan of Agrabah: So, Aladdin... why *did* you bring up that deceitful parrot?
  • Aladdin 'Al': Uh, Sultan, I have to tell you something about Iago.
  • [Iago tickles Rajah's nose with one of his feathers; Rajah sneezes Iago out in front of Sultan]
  • Aladdin 'Al': [gulps nervously] He's... here?
  • Aladdin 'Al': Iago?
  • Iago: Uh... I was... I was just thinking, um... maybe it's time you patched things up with the Sultan. Uh, he might enjoy a nice, scenic carpet ride?
  • Princess Jasmine: Hmm, that's a good idea.
  • Aladdin 'Al': And I'll bring Genie. He was a big hit with the Sultan.
  • Iago: No! No, no! I mean... Genie, he's, he's, he's too flashy. He's too loud. Uh, you'd never get a word in.
  • Princess Jasmine: Good point, Iago.
  • [She addresses Aladdin]
  • Princess Jasmine: You need some quiet time with Father. Let him get to know you.
  • Iago: Yeah. And I...
  • [He sags guiltily]
  • Iago: I can take you to the perfect spot.
  • Aladdin 'Al': Great!
  • Princess Jasmine: Come on, let's get Father. Just a minute.
  • [She walks towards Iago]
  • Princess Jasmine: Iago, this isn't easy for me to say, but I was wrong about you.
  • [She kisses Iago's head and pets him]
  • Iago: Wait a second!
  • Aladdin 'Al': Yes, Iago?
  • [Menacing eyes stare at Iago from the curtains]
  • Iago: Uh... I'll be along in a minute.
  • [Aladdin and Jasmine leave. Jafar puts his hands on the parrot, who shudders]
  • Jafar: Excellent.

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