- Dessie Curley: I haven't cried since I was a kid.
- Sharon Curley: You cried during the World Cup.
- Dessie Curley: Sober, Sharon! Sober!
- Kay Curley: It's a terrible shock...
- Dessie Curley: What is?
- Kay Curley: Being married for 25 years, and finding out your husband's a prick.
- Dessie Curley: [to Kay, after finding nothing to watch on TV] I suppose a ride's out of the question?
- Sharon Curley: What if it's a girl, and it looks like Mr. Burgess?
- Dessie Curley: Oh, shite! I guess we'll have to smother it and leave it on his step.
- Sharon Curley: Why won't you talk to me anymore?
- Dessie Curley: I do talk to you!
- Sharon Curley: You don't.
- Dessie Curley: Yes, I do! I said hello to you yesterday!
- Dessie Curley: [at a pub, after Sharon's delivery] 7 pounds 12 ounces.
- Loner: Is that a baby, or a turkey?
- Dessie Curley: A baby!
- Loner: That's a good-sized baby.
- Dessie Curley: Right.
- Loner: Small turkey, though.
- Dessie Curley: [trying to discover the father of Sharon's baby] How do you know he was Spanish? Or a sailor? He could've been a Pakistani postman if you were that drunk!
- Young Lad: Is this your first?
- Dessie Curley: Yeah. Oh no, no, no. It's, uh, it's my first grandchild. Is it your first?
- Young Lad: No, my third.
- Dessie Curley: Have you read this?
- [holds a Family Planning book]
- Dessie Curley: Spanish, no less.
- Sharon Curley: Yeah. Spanish.
- Dessie Curley: An Irish sailor wasn't good enough for you, what? And will Sinbad the Spanish sailor pay for Burgess' broken window, I wonder.
- Dessie Curley: What's hard and hairy on the outside? It's wet... And soft on the inside.
- [in between laughs]
- Dessie Curley: Jesus. It begins with a "C". It ends with a "T". And it has a "U" and an "N" in it. A co-co-co-nut. A coconut!
- [crowd laughs]
- Dessie Curley: Nowadays, the husband are there, with the wives, you know. I think that's much better. Cause they're able to hold our hands and, help them and encourage them, and see their child being born.
- George Burgess: Sharon, please, I have to talk. I'm tormented!
- Sharon Curley: You're tormented? You've made me the laughing stock of Barrytown, I can't go out without being jeered at. You're tormented? You prick ya!
- Dessie Curley: [looks at the yachting on TV] Would you look at that fuckin' eejit?
- Kay Curley: Can you not just say 'eejit'?
- Dessie Curley: That's what I did say.
- Kay Curley: [as Dessie wipes his bloody nose after a fight in the pub] Sharon, your da is after being defending your honour. Isn't he great?
- Sharon Curley: What happened to you?
- Dessie Curley: Nothing, Sharon. Nothing. Don't mind your mother, she's been at the Sherry again.