Weekend at Bernie's II (1993)

Tom Wright: Charles

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Quotes 

• Charles : [Charles and Henry have been turned into goats and are being led on rope leashes by the dead zombie, Bernie]  Ain't this a bitch?

  Henry : Where's he taking us?

  Charles : I don't know. Well, at least we get to see the carnival.

  Henry : Yeah, but I didn't think we was gonna *be*, the carnival.

• [Charles is searching the porn theater for the escaped chicken, and comes across a movie patron with a chicken in his lap and tries to take it] 

  Movie Patron : What are you doing?

  Charles : Oh, I lost the chicken.

  Movie Patron : No, no, no. This chicken's with me.

• Charles : [both have just seen Bernie fall back flat, dead after turning the music off]  Ain't this a bitch!

  Henry : Dead!

  Charles : As a doornail!

  Charles : Come on, let's get him!

• Charles : what kind of name is Mobu anyways, sounds like some kind of car wax, Mobu.

• Charles : Hey Henry check out that fine mamma she is fine.

  Henry : Oh yeah. Charles you're starting to frighten me.

• [Henry & Charles finds Larry & Richard asleep in the hotel lobby. They wake Larry & Richard up with a punch] 

  Larry Wilson : [both are awaken; shocked]  What, what? I don't have any money, man! I don't...

  Charles : All right, all right. Now y'all just be cool, man. Just be cool.

  [Larry chuckles nervously] 

  Henry : [to Richard]  How are you doing?

  Richard Parker : Fine, thank you. How are you?

  Henry : Shh.

  Charles : Where the dead man at?

  Larry Wilson : Oh, he's in the Jeep. You can have him.

  Charles : No, no, no, my brotha. He is NOT in the Jeep! Where is he?

  Richard Parker : Well, what do you mean?

  Larry Wilson : He's in the Jeep.

  Richard Parker : Did you try that red Jeep?

  Henry : [to Richard]  Uh-uh.

  Richard Parker : You're kidding?

  [to Larry] 

  Richard Parker : He's not there.

  Henry : Yo, man, what are we gonna do with there two?

  Charles : I know what. We're gonna take them to the Mobu and let them explain to HER, that way SHE gonna understand that WE gonna be cool and they gonna be exactly where we is!

  Richard Parker : [confused]  Huh?

  Henry : Oh, yeah. Then we can blame them.

  Charles : We're gonna try.

  Richard Parker : Say how would you fellas like a margarita?

  Larry Wilson : [laughs]  On me!

• [At the Mobu's compound] 

  Mobu : [scolds Henry and Charles]  You've lost them.

  Charles : Well, not-not exactly. Um...

  Henry : Anybody could have.

  Mobu : Twice. He was going to lead you to the money.

  Charles : Oh, yes, but Bu, I know. We messed with the bones and that fool with the conjure, and now he can only walk when the music playing. We're sorry.

  Mobu : Where is he now?

  Charles , Henry : [points to Richard and Larry]  The white boys.

  Richard Parker : Um...

  Larry Wilson : He - We don't know where he is.

  Richard Parker : We left him in the Jeep, dead.

  Larry Wilson : Deceased.

  Charles : Yeah, but ask them what they was doing at the bank with Bernie?

  Larry Wilson : Well... Rich - No. Well, we needed him to get into the safety deposit box

  Mobu : What was in the box?

  Larry Wilson : A map.

  Cartel Man #1 : [the cartel mobsters come towards Richard and Larry]  Give me the map.

  Richard Parker : We don't have it.

  Larry Wilson : We don't have the map.

  Richard Parker : No map.

  Cartel Man #1 : [to his partner]  Kill them.

  [Richard and Larry protests, yelling about whose fault it is] 

  Mobu : [to the mobsters]  If we kill them, we both lose. I have another way.

  [the Mobu takes a cup and scoops out a concoction. Then walks to Richard] 

  Mobu : Drink.

  Richard Parker : [hesitant]  I'd love to. You see, I just had lunch...

  [Cartel Man #1 hold Richard at gunpoint] 

  Richard Parker : ... but there's always room for Jell-O.