Courteney Cox credited as playing...
Monica Geller • Monica Geller-Bing
- Monica: You wanted it to be a surprise.
- Chandler: Oh, my God.
- Monica: Chandler, in all my life I never thought I would be so lucky as to fall in love with my best, my best...
- [crying]
- Monica: There's a reason why girls don't do this.
- Chandler: Okay, okay I'll do it. I thought, wait I can do this, I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, that you make me happier than I ever thought I could be and if you let me I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. Monica, will you marry me?
- Monica: Yes.
- [Joey just got ordained via the internet so that he could perform Monica and Chandler's wedding]
- Joey: Hey, I started working on what I'm going to say at the ceremony. Wanna hear it?
- Monica, Chandler: Yeah.
- Joey: We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share.
- [Monica and Chandler look impressed]
- Joey: It is a love based of giving and receiving as well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving, we too can share and love and have... and receive.
- [later]
- Joey: Okay, you guys, I've got a little more written... are you ready?
- Chandler: Yeah, yeah. Okay.
- Joey: When I think of the love that these two givers and receivers share, I cannot help but envy the lifetime ahead of having and loving and giving... and then I can't think of a good word for right here.
- Monica: How bout receiving?
- Joey: Yes!
- Monica: Rach, it's the Visa card people.
- Rachel: Oh, God, ask them what they want.
- Monica: [on the phone] Could you please tell me what this is in reference to? Yes, hold on.
- [to Rachel]
- Monica: Um, they say there's been some unusual activity on your account.
- Rachel: But I haven't used my card in weeks.
- Monica: That is the unusual activity.
- [Re: "If you had to give up sex or food, which would you pick?"]
- Monica: Sex!
- Chandler: Seriously. Answer faster.
- Monica: I'm sorry, sweetie. When she said "sex" I wasn't thinking of sex with you.
- Chandler: It's like a big hug.
- Phoebe: Ross, how about you? Sex or food?
- Ross: Sex!
- Phoebe: What about sex or dinosaurs?
- Ross: My God, it's like Sophie's Choice.
- Phoebe: Joey, if you had to give up sex or food, which would you pick?
- Joey: I don't know it's too hard.
- Rachel: Come on, you have to answer.
- Joey: Okay... sex. No, food. No, uh... I want both! I want girls on bread!
- Monica: [chasing after him] Chandler. It happens to lots of guys. You-you-you were probably tired, you had a lot of champagne, don't worry about it.
- Chandler: [motioning with his hands] I'm not worried, I'm uh, I'm fascinated. Y'know it's like uh, Biology. Which is funny because in high school I uh, I-I failed Biology and tonight Biology failed me.
- [a ritual to get rid of bad-boyfriend karma]
- Phoebe: Okay, now we need the sage branches and the sacramental wine.
- Monica: All I have is oregano and a Fresca.
- Phoebe: That's okay.
- [Adds them]
- Phoebe: All right, now we need the semen of a righteous man.
- Rachel: OK, Pheebs, you know what? If we had that, we wouldn't be doing the ritual in the first place.