- Angie: These four nuns are tryin' to get into heaven. And St. Peter says to the first one, 'Sister, I must ask you before I let you in: Have you ever touched a penis?' She says, 'well yes as a matter of fact. Once with the tip of my finger I did touch one.' He says, 'alright, dip your finger in the holy water and pass on through.' So the second one steps up, he asks her the same question. She says 'Well, yes, I have to admit once in the backseat of a car, I touched a penis with my hand.' 'Alright dip your whole hand in the holy water and pass on through.' The third one steps up, but the fourth one pushes her outta the way and says... 'Look, if you think I'm gonna gargle with that shit after she sticks her ass in it... You can forget about it!'