User reviews

This movie is so hopelessly inept, that if it was played in a more tongue-in-cheek manner it might have been considerable fun. Now, it's just corny. The sex scenes are reasonably stylish, but are arbitrarily thrown into various parts of the film, usually under the least likely circumstances. As for the action, there isn't even one minute of genuine danger or suspense. If the villain, played by Pat Morita(!) wasn't so show-offy, there wouldn't have been a movie, either. Don't do it. (*)

Now I am not a fan of Andy Sidaris' movies to say the least but this is the first one in a while that I actually enjoyed in parts. The plot is once again convoluted and tedious, but that is just a staple of Sidaris' films, his fans tune in for the boobs, not the story. However all the scenes with Mr Miyagi are highly entertaining, he clearly could not be bothered to be in this movie and the bored look on his face made me smile every time he was on screen. He delivers his lines with beautiful conviction and at one point we get to hear his orgasm noises, truly beautiful stuff. Apart from that there is a ninja scene which is also quite brilliant, in total this all adds up to a Sidaris movie that is actually bearable.

I've seen most of writer/director Andy Sidaris' movies. "Do or Die" is not the pick of the litter. The girls are dreamy, of course, but the movie seems to drag a little. It still delivers the cheap thrills I expect but for some reason this movie seems to be a little longer than its actual running time. It's not a deal breaker. It's just not my favorite.

When given the choice of "DO" (as in watching this flick) and "DIE" (as the title declares)...after serious consideration, the latter would probably be far less painless. The movie is really brainless, grade z stuff that wouldn't get breathing rates faster, at a drive-in cinema for teenage daters. Spies in bikinis...a very unique concept...I'll pass that one along to the boys at Langley, the next time I see them.

I have to applaud Pat Morita, for trying a new role as the villain, but it just doesn't work. He's about as menacing as Barney Rubble. Erik Estrada (in post-CHIPS days) has also been pretty badly type-casted-which isn't fair-as a goodie-good.

All in all, if I'd paid more than .39 cents for this rental, I would be rather be perturbed at myself. Now, if I could only get back 90 minutes of my life...

... so I will. In this one, our intrepid Playmates, I mean Federal Agents (?!), Dona and Roberta are targeted for elimination by an army of fairly unimaginative and not very skilled hit men. No points for guessing who comes out on top. Speaking of tops, Dona and Roberta lose theirs fairly often, which is clearly the point of the exercise.

Andy Sidaris has no better directorial sense than Ed Wood, and not much more money, but like Ed Wood, he never let a shortage of cash or talent keep him out of the director's chair. Not only do his movies play like low rent T&A version of Chips or some other bad 70s TV action show, this one comes complete with Erik Estrada! Another 70s TV reliquary, the normally charming Pat Morita, is also here as a generic Asian crime boss, but he has little screen time in which to embarrass himself. Actually this movie is much worse than generic action TV, with laughably worse (although not actually funnier) acting and dialogue, uninspired action sequence construction and painfully cheap explosion effects. I doubt they blew up anything worth more than about ten bucks in the whole movie. You can practically read 'Fisher Price' on the models used for effects shots.

The artwork on the DVD box looks better than any of the pyrotechnics used in the picture. And the plot-line itself seems like a random assemblage of action bits created by means of a dartboard, which it probably was. Nevertheless, Andy Boy knows what his audience wants: bouncy Playmates showing off a lot of skin while shooting it out with bad guys, and he delivers the goods. You have to give the guy credit for truth in advertising if nothing else.

1st watched 2/14/2021 - (Dir-Andy Sidaris): Pretty lame Andy Sidaris action/nudity flick. This one is about a pair of female federal agents who are being sought out by an Asian mob leader by the name of Kino, played by Pat Morita. Donna and Nichol are the agents played by Dona Speir and Roberta Vasquez. They are brought into a 6-round game by the Asian to try and hunt them down. Erik Estrada gets involved as a Captain helping to protect the girls. At each level - we get to see Kino teased by his masseuse/helpmate as well as many other sexually spiced up interchanges between various characters. This appears to be the pattern in Andy Sidaris's films and we think that the attentions on the boobs displayed is primarily the reason for the films. The acting is pretty below par, and the action scenes are nothing special so there is not much else to focus on. Sidaris has taken "Charlie's Angels" into R-rated territory basically with this one. If this is the kind of movie you want to watch than go for it, but don't expect much.

Despite having been blown to smithereens by Dona Speir in 'Guns' (the fifth movie in my Andy Sidaris 'Girls, Guns and G-Strings' box-set), ex-CHiPs star Erik Estrada miraculously returns in one piece for the next film Do or Die, albeit as a totally new character, good guy Richard 'Rico' Estevez; Estrada even gets to romp with Speir in a brief sex scene, no questions asked.

I guess it's what I should expect from a movie franchise in which top-heavy female federal agents squeeze into tiny outfits to take on the never-ending stream of ruthless villains who turn up on their tiny Hawaiian island. This time around, it's none other than Mr. Miyagi himself, Pat Morita, who plays the baddie, a Japanese criminal by the name of Kane, who is so fed up with buxom babes Donna and Nicole (Speir and Roberta Vasquez) ruining his illegal operations that he forces them to play a deadly game of cat and mouse against six pairs of his best killers.

Their lives in danger, the girls head for the mainland and are subsequently pursued across several states, thereby allowing Sidaris to set his cheesy action set-pieces against a variety of backdrops whilst also indulging his usual obsessions: humongous breasts, high powered weaponry, and remote control scale models (but, rather surprisingly, no men in drag). As always, there are several steamy soft-core sex scenes (a couple of which are surprisingly artful in their execution), some dumb comedy, and a few poorly staged fight and chase scenes (including one with really crap ninjas). Also adding to the fun is the introduction of two new female characters: Pandora Peaks as Atlanta Lee, owner of the film's biggest pair of tits, and Ava Cadell as Ava, owner of quite possibly the most awesome body of the whole series.

Best of all, though, is the sight of Mr. Miyagi rolling around in bed with his surgically enhanced Japanese babe Silk (Carolyn Liu), the old man clearly using moves that he never dared divulge to young Daniel Larusso.

I rate Do or Die 6.5 out of 10, rounded up to 7, making it my new favourite of the series so far.

This film begins with two federal agents named "Donna Hamilton" (Dona Speir) and "Nicole Justin" (Roberta Vasquez) attending an outdoor party when they are pulled aside and taken to meet an extremely wealthy crime lord by the name of "Kaneshiro" (Pat Morita). Upon being introduced, Kaneshiro informs them that his business enterprises have suffered because of their actions and for that reason he has decided to have them killed. However, rather than murdering them immediately, he tells them that, as a matter of honor, he feels obligated to give them a fighting chance. To that effect, he then says that he has hired 6 separate teams of assassins to track them down and kill them within the next few days. Having thus informed them, he subsequently has them released so that he can enjoy his sadistic game from a distance. What he doesn't count on, however, is the fact that both Donna and Nicole have a small team at their disposal who are quite willing to do whatever is necessary to help them out. Now, rather than reveal any more, I will just say that, although the plot certainly had potential, there was something about this movie that simply didn't feel right. Maybe it was the absence of Hope Marie Carlton. Or perhaps it was having Pat Morita in the role of the bad guy. Whatever the case, the chemistry just wasn't there. But maybe that's just me. Be that as it may, although I don't consider this to be a bad movie necessarily, I believe it should have been much better than it turned out to be and I have rated it accordingly.

"Do Or Die" begins with a colorful tribal dance. Hawaii was always one of the favorite locations to shoot for Sidaris. This time, a gangster boss challenges the Lethal Ladies team: He'll send 6 pairs of killers against them, and to make it impossible for them to hide, he uses a computer tracking device. "This is gonna be easy", one of the killers says - of course a fatal mistake.

Among the playful variety of assassins, my faves are the cooks from New Orleans who work on their accent and try to poison our heroes - a brilliant comedy interlude in between the sex and the violence. Of course Dona Speir and her friends have some gadgets as well, including a small model helicopter which can fire missiles. Boom, there goes another villain, and I can't say I regret one minute I spent with this entertaining production. This is the 6th out of my 12 reviews for the works of Andy Sidaris, in chronological order.

What more can you expect from andy sidaris than plenty of big breasts and lots of toys that explode ... this was the first of his films done near bossier city louisiana ... the production rates must be cheaper there ... plenty of gadgets and guns as well as big bare breasts to ogle..

Dona Speir and Roberta Vasquez once again essay the roles of sexpot government agents Donna and Nicole, who are targeted by crime kingpin "Kane" (Pat "Mr. Miyagi" Morita). He's sick and tired of them ruining his business ventures, so he forces them to participate in "games". He will sic supposedly expert assassins on them again and again. Fortunately, the girls have allies such as Erik "Ponch" Estrada on their side, as well as a cool gadget or two.

Andy Sidaris certainly never set out to make "high art". That said, there is something comfortable about the rigid formulas of his destined-for-cable-TV adventures. They're like comfort food, or a well-loved old pair of shoes. You know what you're getting: gorgeous, bosomy babes, equally gorgeous scenery (this was filmed on locales such as Hawaii, Las Vegas, and Louisiana), various action scenes and stunts, copious amounts of sex and nudity, and those aforementioned gadgets.

"Do or Die" is pretty much a solid example of what Sidaris did so well, with name stars like Morita and Estrada playing their roles adequately, and the physical assets of ladies like Speir, Vasquez, Cynthia Brimhall (who also belts out a catchy country & western ditty), Pandora Peaks, and Carolyn Liu placed front and centre. (You'll see how Ms. Peaks got her stage name.) There's even time for a fair amount of disarming humor, to show that Sidaris never did take any of these movies all that seriously. To that end, Richard Cansino and Chu Chu Malave play one of the teams of inept would-be assassins; they pretend to be Cajun chefs as their cover. The final team is a useless pair of ninjas played by James Lew and Eric Chen.

Lots of dumb bad guys - and good guys who always end up miraculously untouched - add to a "good" dumb fun movie for people looking for sex appeal and cheese.

Six out of 10.

These Sidaris pictures are silly. If you expected anything more serious than James Bond, you'll be disappointed. But if 007 pictures don't have enough sex for you, try one of Sidaris' shows.

Cynthia Brimhall looks bored and distracted in this one. (She was perkier in _Hard Ticket to Hawai'i_.) "Stephanie Schick" has a hot sex scene in a waterfall. Dona Speir and Erik Estrada do it in a steaming, night-lit swimming pool. Nice boat/plane chases, plenty of explosions. Carolyn Liu is sizzling hot as the bad guy's computer-savvy moll, and there's more to her character than you'd expect.

Six stars for the underappreciated Andy Sidaris and ten for the hypnotic Ms. Liu.

Swapping Hawaii for Las Vegas, with an increasingly playful and wide variety of assassins, Do or Die sees Sidaris try his hand at a more most dangerous game-esque scenario than what we're used to. However, this is still a Sidaris movie at the end of the day, so his established formula shows up tenfold, really sticking to that mantra of if it ain't broke, don't fix it. This one definitely wins a few extra brownie points with me due to having Pat Morita as the villain, which feels inherently wrong but also rather funny to witness, oh and Erik Estrada is also here. Between the self-parodying, tongue-in-cheek humour accompanied by the funky af score, Do or Die delivers more of what you want out of a Sidaris adventure, remaining stupid, sleazy fun every step of the way.

The sixth in Andy Sidaris' series of Playboy Playmate/CIA agent extravaganzas is probably one of the most entertaining, although the story actually makes more sense than usual -- which robs it of some of its camp value. (Part of the fun of Andy's movies is trying to make sense of his unnecessarily convoluted plots, which he gleefully admits to cranking out in longhand on legal pads in "about four days.") Asian crime boss Pat Morita (so that's what happened to Arnold after he left "Happy Days"!) puts out a hit on CIA bikini-stuffers Dona Spier and Roberta Vasquez, which basically sets in motion Sidaris' take on "The Most Dangerous Game," except we've got Erik Estrada and lots of nudity thrown into the mix. It's all utterly silly, but so funny and do with so much zest that you can't help but get a big kick out of it. In many ways, it's actually better than the James Bond films of the same period (ugh! Timothy Dalton!). "Do or Die" makes its DVD debut on March 25, 2003.

And I loved it! Put it Pat Morita as an evil villain. Erik Estrada and Pandora Peaks as the good guys. Throw in Sidaris regulars like Donna Speir and Bruce Penhall and put them all over the map from HI to LA to CA. Then mix with an ample amount of chases, shoot-outs, and stuff blowing up, and you got yourself a Sidaris flick. Part Magnum PI, part James Bond, part Playboy video, this flick rocks. I find it one of the better Sidaris flicks mainly due to the cast.

I confess to picking this up due to sexbomb Pandora Peaks a pin-up model and dancer being in this. Her silicone airbags area sight to behold. But even without that, this flick is fun. It doesn't take itself too seriously, and the acting is pretty bad.

Bravo!!!

It amazes me how far some stars fall. In this case, I mean Pat Morita and Erik Estrada. The "plot" involves two gorgeous, big-chested CIA agents being chased by six pairs of assassins sent by an Asian crime boss (Pat Morita). Seeing the guy from "Karate Kid" with thinning grey hair, sitting on the back of a gorgeous (and naked) Asian bombshell is enough to give one unpleasant thoughts.

Along the way, the gorgeous CIA duo pick up six fellow agents, who conveniently ultimately make up four boy/girl duos. Seeing how much sex they have, it's a wonder they don't get assassinated. One scene has the gang hiding away at a secret house on a lake and no one's supposed to know they are there. Estrada is on duty while the women sit in bikinis in a hot tub. Among the agents in bikinis is massive-chested porn star Pandora Peaks. Two assassins roar up on dirt bikes, ride out onto a dock within sight of the hot tub and pretend to be fishing. Estrada ignores them until one of the assassins shoots a flower pot instead of his target (presumably he is distracted since the sight of his scope is always focused on the women's breasts).

The good guys pretend to know what they're doing. They wear disguises, fly all sorts of planes, have shootouts and car chases, but it's just window dressing to showcase their best "assets." The scene in the trailer where a female assassin in a thong slowly shimmies into a pair of tight leather pants bears this out.

Also, beware the ending. It plays out like the producers expected to turn the film into a television series, which probably would have done more harm to Morita's career than "The Next Karate Kid."

If you want T & A, check out "Do Or Die." If you want serious action, try "Live And Let Die" or "March or Die."

My review was written in June 1991 after watching the film at a Times Square screening room.

Pat Morita switches to a heavy role with excellent results in "Do or Die". Sixth entry in the "Malibu Express" series of campy actioners is a potent picture to titlllate home video and pay-cable audiences.

Due to a tough marketplace for smaller indies, this feature is getting only minimal theatrical exposure in Nahsville ahead of RCA/Columbia's video release. It's a shame since voyeuristic action audiences would get a kick out of "Do or Die' on the big screen.

Writer-director Andy Sidaris has a streamlined plot line this time, inspired by "The Most Dangerous Game". The pair of beautiful CIA underover operatives in Hawaii, Dona Speir and Roberta Vasquez, are informed by international gangster Pat Morita that he has assigned six two-man death squads to hunt them down in fair combat. It's a trial run for his plan for world domination.

Aided by a crack team organized by their boss William Bumiller, the Molokai-based duo trek to Nevada, Louisiana and Texas with the mercenary assassins in hot pursuit. It's not surprising to fans of this pic series that the macha femmes handily dispose of the villains, even in hand-to-hand combat during a climactic ninja battle. Morita's underplaying, aided by moody lighting by Mark Morris, lends panache to his scheming role and the "Karate Kid" star also has fuin in several scenes dallying romanticlally with his statuesque Asian-American assistant Carolyn Liu. Erik Estrada, the villain of the previous entry "Guins", is back in a new role as a good guy this time.

Full complement of movie veterans from this series is augmented by several impressive newcomers: notably Atlanta's extremely bosomy dancer Stephanie Schick who has a memorable, nearly NC-17 sex scene under a watefall with handsome series regular Michael Shaen; and Ava Cadell as a smug villainess quickly dispatched by Speir and Vasquez.

Sidaris changes the action series' balance by finding time for numerous sex and/or nud scenes no matter how perilous the situation. For action fans, excellent location work in atmospheric locales delivers the goods with motorcycle, speedboat and dune buggy chases. One highlight is a quarter-scale model airplane show in the Nevada desert to set the stage for model gimmickry a la James Bond flicks.

Tech credits are above average, giving this well-produced (by the director's wife, Arlene Sidris) picture a look and scale well beyond its modest budget.