Prayer of the Rollerboys

Though the material is now familiar to us all, this is a very good post nuke sci.-fi. movie. Features excellent stunt and set work and features an incredible amount of style. This film got unfairly tossed when it played in theaters, but go out and rent this movie you won't be sorry. Rating: 8/10

I only watched this movie in the first place because I always kind of had a crush on Corey Haim. The plot didn't sound particularly interesting or original -- I didn't expect much. But this movie surprised me. It is without question messy -- it needs more time for character development, it goes right for a bunch of stereotypes that take away some of its credibility. But there's a lot in this film that's worth considering. The idea is half-"1984," half-"Lord of the Flies" -- a futuristic society where kids rule the world, yet there's less freedom or honesty than ever. It's a little scary in that thrilling way because it's something you can imagine, especially in light of recent history. And the constant use of iconography from the "Golden Age" of family values in American culture was stunning (an evil character named "Bullwinkle," an otherwise-bleak roller park with a giant record painted on the ground, Patricia Arquette's many costumes including cowgirl and sailorette). This is a movie that would do well to be remade a little more carefully. More focus on the obvious symbolism, more thought given to character. I'd like to see that, because I actually think this story has quite a bit to say to us today that might have seemed unimportant in 1991.

I gave this flick a shame faced 7 (a baseline 6 + 1 because I've thoroughly enjoyed it...twice!) I saw it first in 1991, a full 5 years before I learned to roller blade myself (at the ripe old age of 44) and again last night. I think the mistake made by those rating it so lowly was in taking it seriously. It certainly didn't take itself seriously. Not with lines like (paraphrase) [after a criminal is shot by a cop] "thank God we could take care of him here. I hate court". Or with newspaper headlines that read "Germany buys Poland". Or with a radio newscast describing Mexican INS agents rounding up and deporting American fruit pickers who had illegally entered their country to find work. Any sense of reality exited my mind as I watched them do everything in those skates, I, myself, having gotten hopelessly bogged down in the neutral ground trying to cross the street in my blades at City Park in New Orleans. The movie also had a refreshingly original take on the "doomed future" theme. Instead of the grim setting being a post nuclear apocalypse, we have a wasteland created, instead, by the crash of the American stock market. And this well explains the sad state of affairs (no money for police, a greatly weakened government, extensive homelessness, etc.) that is the backdrop for the film. The rollerboys seemed to be a blurry composite of all the evils of mankind since the beginning of time...racial hatred, greed megalomania, anti-semitism...you name it. The visage of the rollerboy gang materializing from the end of a dark tunnel, gliding effortlessly in white trench coats and black rollerblades, their arms swinging mightily in unison immediately called to mind goose stepping Nazis. The two undercover cops, who seemed to literally dwell in their van, making off the cuff quips about the rollerboys were a hoot. True, the acting was, at best mediocre but had it been excellent it would have spoiled the film. Occasional lapses into the melodramatic only added savor to the stew. Much of the dialog was so bad it was not only good but great. I guess this movie will remain one of my guilty pleasures. If it comes on again...I'll watch it again. I only wish Corey Haim hadn't grown up so they could make Rollerboys 2.

This movie is awful in a really great way. If you don't like bad movies you shouldn't be looking at the work of Corey Haim. But that doesn't mean that bad movies aren't enjoyable. And this one has everything.

By everything I mean post-apocalyptic, drug dealing, fascist skating around in formation wearing trench coats.

I know what you are thinking "Wait, wait, I have seen this a million times", but you haven't seen an apple eaten as viciously as you will in this film.

I wept for that apple, it was violated.

Plus you get Corey Haim and Patrica Arquette.

I say gather a group of like minded friends, some adult beverages, and enjoy a truly enjoyable bad movie.

Take "BAD" and multiply it by the number of stars in the universe and you might come close to describing this movie. It almost has to be seen to be believed. As I watched "Rollerboys," I kept thinking: "How, how, how do movies like this ever get made?" In that sense, this movie grabs you. It spirals down into the depths of "awful" and "cheesy" and you just can't pull your eyes away. Haim should've taken the money and ran. He could have gone to college and become a doctor instead of a complete embarrassment.