Robin Williams credited as playing...
Genie • Peddler
- Genie: So, what'll it be, Master?
- Aladdin: You're gonna grant me any three wishes I want, right?
- Genie: [as William F. Buckley] Uh, almost. There are a few, uh, provisos, a, a couple of quid pro quos.
- Aladdin: Like?
- Genie: [normal] Uh, rule #1: I can't kill anybody.
- [cuts his head off]
- Genie: So don't ask.
- Genie: [fixes his head] Uh, rule #2: I can't make anybody fall in love with anybody else.
- [turns into a pair of lips and kisses Aladdin]
- Genie: You little punim there.
- Genie: [turns into a cross between slimy Genie and Peter Lorre] Rule #3: I can't bring people back from the dead. It's not a pretty picture. I don't like doing it!
- [he returns to normal]
- Genie: Other than that, you got it.
- Genie: But, oh, to be free! Not to have to go "Poof! What do you need?", "Poof! What do you need?", "Poof! What do you need?" To be my own master. Such a thing would be greater than all the magic and all the treasures in all the world! But what am I talking about? Let's get real here, it's not gonna happen. Genie, wake up and smell the hummus.
- [last line, special edition only. also heard in the diamond edition and signature collection.]
- Genie: You have been a fabulous audience! Tell you what, you're the best audience in the whole world. Take care of yourselves! Good night, Alice! Good night, Agrabah! Adios, amigos!
- Genie: [as a female flight attendant] Thank you for choosing Magic Carpet for all your travel needs. Don't stand until the rug has come to a complete stop. Thank you. Goodbye now. Goodbye. Goodbye. Thank you. Goodbye.
- Genie: [back to normal] Well, how about that, Mr. Doubting Mustafa?
- Aladdin: Oh, you sure showed me. Now, about my three wishes.
- Genie: Dost mine ears deceive me? Three? You are down by one, boy!
- Aladdin: Ah, no, I never actually wished to get out of the cave, huh. You did that on your own.
- [Genie's mouth drops]
- Genie: Oh, I feel sheepish.
- [he turns into a sheep]
- Genie: All right, you ba-a-a-ad boy. But no more freebies.
- Aladdin: Provisos? You mean limitations? On wishes? Huh.
- [to Abu]
- Aladdin: Some all powerful Genie. Can't even bring people back from the dead. I don't know, Abu. He probably can't even get us out of this cave. Looks like we're gonna have to find a way outta here.
- Genie: [stomps his foot to stop Aladdin, Abu, and Carpet from leaving] Excuse me?
- Genie: [scoffs]
- Genie: Are you looking at me? Did you rub my lamp? Did you wake me up? Did you bring me here? And all of a sudden you're walking out on me? I don't think so. Not right now! YOU'RE GETTIN' YOUR WISHES, SO *SIDDOWN!*
- Merchant: [holding up an oil lamp] Do not be fooled by its commonplace appearance. Like so many things, it is not what is outside, but what is inside that counts. This is no ordinary lamp! It once changed the course of a young man's life; a young man who, like this lamp, was more than what he seemed: a diamond in the rough. Perhaps you would like to hear the tale? It begins on a dark night, where a dark man waits... with a dark purpose.
- Genie: Say, you're a lot smaller than my last master. Either that, or I'm getting bigger. Look at me from the side. Do I look different to you?
- Genie: [leaving to travel the world] I'm history! No, I'm mythology! Nah, I don't care what I am. I'm free-hee!
- [last line, from the original version]
- Genie: [lifts the final shot with one arm to break fourth wall] Made you look.
- Genie: [after explaining to Aladdin that he can grant any wish his heart desires] You ain't never had a friend like me!
- Merchant: Welcome to Agrabah, city of mystery, of enchantment. AndthefinestmerchandisethissideoftheriverJordanonsaletoday! Come on down!