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Patsy Kensit, Bryan Brown, Dudley Moore, Bronson Pinchot, Richard Griffiths, Andreas Katsulas, Alison Steadman, and Penelope Wilton in Blame It on the Bellboy (1992)

Quotes

Blame It on the Bellboy

Edit
  • Maurice Horton: So what's the form then? Do I pay you now?
  • Caroline Wright: You don't carry that sort of cash around, do you?
  • Maurice Horton: What sort of cash are we talking about?
  • Caroline Wright: Well, how much do you think it's worth?
  • Maurice Horton: It's all new to me.
  • [picks up his wallet]
  • Maurice Horton: Uhm, sixty? Eighty? A hundred?
  • Caroline Wright: Okay, a hundred. A hundred thousand is about right.
  • Maurice Horton: A hundred thousand? No, no. I was talking about Pounds.
  • Caroline Wright: Well, so am I. A hundred thousand Pounds.
  • Maurice Horton: What?
  • Caroline Wright: You deaf as well as debauched? Watch my mouth. One hundred thousand Pounds.
  • Maurice Horton: [incredulous] A hundred thousand Pounds for a bit of rumpy bumpy?
  • Maurice Horton: [Horton has just paid 210,000,000 lira, the equivalent of 100,000 pounds, to Caroline for the Villa Romano] Just so you know, it bloody well wasn't worth it!
  • Caroline Wright: [Slyly] Don't worry, neither is this house.
  • Maurice Horton: One hundred thousand pounds for a villa in Venice. How could I lose?
  • [while having sex with Horton]
  • Caroline Wright: [unhappily] Speed-boat! Speed-boat! Speed-boat!
  • Maurice Horton: [Horton has agreed to pay Caroline the asking price] But it had better be some special hanky-panky.
  • Caroline Wright: Wait a minute, you're only going to agree to pay me in cash, if I have *SEX WITH YOU*?
  • Maurice Horton: Well, yes.
  • Caroline Wright: [angry] Why you disgusting, slimy, debauched......
  • [seeing a speedboat pass by]
  • Caroline Wright: [angrily] Oh, all right!
  • Scarpa: Did you not switch the tags?
  • Alfio: Of course I did, boss.
  • Rossi: What a minute, *you* switched the tags? *I* switched the tags!
  • Scarpa: Oh, shit.
  • [Patricia has Maurice, Rosemary and Caroline at gunpoint]
  • Rosemary Horton: He's her to buy this villa for us.
  • Patricia Fulford: [angrily] Bollocks! HE came here for MEDI-DATE!
  • Rosemary Horton: Medi-what?
  • Patricia Fulford: Medi-DATE! Look it up, sister!
  • [some time later]
  • Rosemary Horton: What's Medi-Date?
  • Maurice Horton: Um, gobbledygook, dear. The poor woman's clearly off her rocker.
  • [Scarpa is about to torture Orton]
  • Melvyn Orton: No, wait! There's a man staying at my hotel whose name is Horton!
  • Scarpa: And what's your name?
  • Melvyn Orton: ORTON! Orton with no 'H'!
  • Scarpa: Orton with no balls if you lie to me!
  • Scarpa: When this Horton dies, and he WILL DIE! You will know who did it. Now there are two ways to guarantee silence. Numero uno, we kill *you*! Silence guaranteed!
  • Melvyn Orton: And what's numero duo duweee...
  • Scarpa: DUE!
  • Melvyn Orton: Due?
  • Scarpa: *You* kill *him*. We'll pay you handsomely. You see, we are not so unreasonable.

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